MY LITTLE DRAMA

Yeah...I am quite a drama queen you know!!!

All I needed is a week off, to travel to Db's home back in Orissa. But managers are a tough nut to crack you see. Yeah I know, they are answerable to people above them when the billing is gonna slip for a week for one resource, but I really needed these leaves.

My SIL is back home for a couple of months, and with her around things get real smoother back at my in-laws place. She doesn't let any of the relatives lay hand on me, and the most important of all, I don't have to wear sarees...yipeeeeeee!!!
Yes, I have always maintained, she is the best SIL one could ask for, and I am the worst!!!

My manager was hell bent not to approve my leaves, since I took a week off in Feb for my brother's wedding. But I was not the ones who give up so easily.

Manager : You can't take leaves for a week on every quarter. You took a week off just the last quarter.
Me : That was to go to my home, this time I gotta go to my in-laws place.
Manager : (Irritated) This is not done. You can take 3 days leave maximum or go home in the next quarter.
Me : Three days wont help since it takes 4 days in traveling to and fro.
Manager : To what part in India does it take 2 days to reach??? I am sorry, can't approve your leaves.

Damn!!! I am losing...

Me : But by then the deliverables would be done. My leaves are placed at the safest time.
Manager : Its not about deliverables or deadlines, I can't let the billing slip for a week for a resource.

Still losing...

Me : But I wouldn't be taking any more long leaves in 2009. We are done with visiting both the families once in a year.
Manager : No!!!I am sure again you would feel like going home during Durga Puja.

Damn!!! These managers have answers to everything...gotta think of something fast.

Me : (With a poker face)I am sorry. I will have to be off whether you approve it or not. If it would have been my family, I would have stayed back, but you know how it is with the inLaws. They wouldn't be too happy if I said we can't go due to my job.

Manager : (Sympathetic) Hmm...Okay. But no more week long leaves for you this year.
Me : (with almost brimming eyes) unless heaven strikes...Thanks!!!

Ah!!! Victory at last, at the cost of some drama, its all worth it though...
Doesn't matter though, if he would be imagining me being tortured to death by MIL if I didn't get those leaves. मेरे बाप का क्या जाता है !!!
*wink*

CONFUSION OVER A B'DAY GIFT

This is not fair!!!
Its raining b'days for us. The 16th is Db's b'day and exactly after 24 days its mine. Its been simpler for Db, I have a very transparent face, he knows exactly what makes me happy or sad. Also, I have plenty of things on my wish list:

I wanna join swimming lessons.
I want to have a keyboard (musical keyboard).
I have been trying to make a new painting since a long time, my oil paints are finished and I am being so lazy to get a new pack.
My bean bag burst last week and ever since I have been wanting to buy another one.

So you see, Db has plenty of choices.

On the other hand, Db has been moving towards sainthood with a steady pace.
Talk about shopping, and he has plenty, talk about books, he hasn't got the time, talk about partying, he doesn't drive when he even sniffs alcohol (that's fair though), talk about good food, he says "Arrey Dal Roti bhi chalega".
He hates TV, doesn't like watching movies, isn't a great music lover, hasn't got any intrests other than the stock market and investment books.
I am totally blank, as in what the heck should I buy him that makes him happy.

Huh!!! Talk about people who are difficult to please!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

NOK JHONK!!!

We met one of Db’s friend’s this weekend he is married for two months now.

They had the smitten looks in their eyes, the ones you find very normally in the newly married couples.

Me (to Db's Friend) : I don't see you online these days. I think earlier you'd be online almost all day earlier **wink**

Db’s friend: Yeah, that’s right!!! These days I hardly come online if I am not in office.

Db : Don’t worry, you’d be back in action in a year.

Me : #$%&*^$$*

Me (To Db’s friend’s wife, Ann) : So how is married life???

Ann : It’s been quite good.

Me : So you guys started fighting???

Ann : No, not yet. **blush**

Db’s friend : That’s because I don’t say anything, I agree to whatever she says. **Grin**

Ann (To me) : You really believe that???

Me : Of course no. Men just take pride in saying that, it’s always the other way round.

Db : You heard that joke??? Why do they say mother tongue and not father tongue…because the father hardly gets to speak!!!

Db and his friend: ROFL.

Me and Ann: Men will be men!!! **Frown**

Db : Life changes after marriage dude!!!

Me: Acha!!! Tell me how it changed for you. Earlier you would have to worry about your food and cleaning; now you have KANTA BAI (me) to manage all that stuff. The only change I feel is, marriage has made you lazier.

Db: Before my marriage, I used to watch at least two movies in a week at a multiplex. Now I don’t!!!

Me: Don’t lie!!! That’s because you don’t like watching movies anymore. It’s always me who insists on going to the theaters. It’s you who always say no, movies always irk you. Even last week, it was me who dragged you to the theater.

Db’s friend: Oh!!! Which movie was that???

Me: Tasveer 8 X10

Db: See, now you know my plight.

Db, Ann, Db’s friend: ROFL

Me: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!

WORKING ON A SATURDAY

Damn!!!
At office on Saturday...I admit that an ex-employee of Cognizant shouldn't crib about it. At Cognizant, there was hardly any Saturday that I didn't work. But this the first time in last 1 year and 8 months that I am working on a weekend.

Oh well!!! You could cry fair on the fact that Thursday was an holiday due to elections, and we are compensating for the same. But before saying that just take a look out of the window. What an lousy weather!!!
With such weather, to work at office is the the last thing I want to do. The best thing I can think of is to lie on my bed with a hot cup of tea and watch some nice movie.

But here I am breaking my head with these damned ajax tags, which in turn also refuse to obey my commands. Even they want me to get the hell outta here and leave them alone.

Yawn!!!!!

ON RELATIONSHIPS...Err !! !NOT REALLY!!!

We had this discussion among frenz today...on this lesser known movie called 'Ankahee', starring Aftab and Esha Deol. Aftab falls into an extra marital affair with Esha who happens to be Miss World, and he claims innocence to his daughter on the pretext that being wooed by a Miss World got too tempting to resist.

Well...I'd say fair enough. If likes of Brad Pitt, or for that matter John Abraham are craving for my attention, it’s certainly a tough choice to make. And let’s face it that for men, the choice is easier to make.

But my dear friend begs to differ.
She says why does a man have to get attracted to other women. There is absolutely no reason why he should be going after another woman, since he gets all he wants at home. And since I don’t look at a man with tainted intensions, why should he?
He He He!!!...people are actually so naive is it!!!???

I remember, Db once mentioned this girl at his office who’d dress too provocatively. And every day during their status meetings, the guys found it really difficult to keep their eyes off her assets. He was worried she might notice him someday and report an incident. He was relaxed when the girl was shifted to another team.
So, Am I supposed to feel offended or insecure!!!???

Of course, No!!!
All men without exception do look at women, and with not very platonic feelings, and if a man claims that he doesn’t look at women, then either he is lying or he is gay. Period.
So if some likes of Miss World, or Universe, or may be some real hot chick is flirting with you, it’s certainly difficult to ignore her.

What I feel sad about, is women of this generation also believe in this concept of PATI PARMESHWAR. Men these days have much more exposure than it used to be in older times, and life now is too fast to think and judge. We all need our share of independence, and also, this present generation is not half as emotionally strong as our previous generations. Also keeping at par with changing times, even the men shouldn’t expect a hundred percent loyalist women.

I do not welcome adultery, nor do I ask people to sit and mourn if you discover one. But it shouldn’t come as a rude shock.
Give your spouse enough trust and freedom so that he doesn’t have to come back and lie to you. I believe, as long as your spouse feels his freedom, and can talk about anything under the sun, you maximize your chances of a loyal spouse.

MY FIRST TRAINING

Today was the first time I gave training to a bunch of freshers at office. Earlier the kind of sessions I had taken, were more to do with the application we developed, and we gave sessions on its development and usage, which is kinda simpler task. Giving trainings to freshers, on technical topics is another level of job altogether.
I volunteered for it. Not that I was interested in sharing my knowledge with the trainees...rather it was of a compulsion to secure my appraisal ratings.
Yes my dear friend, my company expects me to take 2 certifications (one technical and one domain) in a year, conduct 2 trainings, receive a few more, submit some learning assets to the company's internal portal site, create two reusable components in a year, not more than 1 unplanned leaves per quarter...and of course maximum customer satisfaction with zero slippage on deadlines...and more!!!

And we thought, Hitler was dead!!!

To safeguard my appraisal ratings, I took up this training on Hibernate. It went on pretty okay...the first five minutes I was a little nervous, but later I am sure the class got jumpy of me. I kept asking a lot of questions to the back benchers and the smiling faces. Very soon, there were no more smiling faces in the class room.

Well...overall it was a not-so-bad experience
At least I could get the fear out of me...

; )

I had a college get together today.

Met quite some old friends from college...few of them whom I was happy to meet, few of them I wasn't too happy to meet...few whom I met with a bear hug, few I greated with a smile and a few I shook hands with. It was a overall good experience...with one of them which was a really good one.

As a child, my Mom called me Baby.

When I reached my graduation, my immediate juniors called me Didi...while most of them either my age or even elder to me.

When I joined Cognizant as a trainee, for the first time, I was addressed as Maa'm.

Aur ab, building ke bacche mujhe Aunty bulate hain...I meet the kids in the building, and their parents prompt them...

'Beta...Aunty ko Hello bolo...'

Some part inside me goes...

'Argh !!!!Aunty kisko bola...Tu Aunty, Teri Ma Aunty, Tera sara khandaan Aunty...!!!'

Feels like a long time, a long way....the distance between Baby to Aunty!!!

But at the gettogether today, a friend of mine had got along her younger sister whom I had met long back when I was in college. She called me Didi.

After a really long time, had someone addressing me as Didi.

Achaa laga :)

SALE SALE SALE!!!

On Saturday, Db and me were walking down the brigade road. I was craving to do some good shopping, since I have been missing this action since a real long time. He finally gave up, and we started looking around all shops for something that might catch my attention.

Suddenly we saw some people making kinda announcements for some BLOCKBUSTER SALE...where in they were selling garments on weight...50 grams for 40 rupees I believe. Db wanted me to check out there...he believed, we might get good offers there. But I wasn't convinced...I maintained that it must be something like a cotton sale that we find every nook and corner of the city. But Db delivered his haloed logic...

'For sure the cost of storing these garments would be much higher than the loss if they sold it such dirt cheap. Say these guys produced these garments to export it to Walmart...which Walmart in turn is not buying due to the recession...then the producer has to arrange for storing these garments. Due to constant accumulation, storage starts becoming costlier or him. So he decides to sell the stuff at cheaper price to minimize his losses'

Hmm...It made sense though, as always.

So we went in with zero expectations. I couldn't believe myself on the kind of stuff they had. Each top which would have easily cost me 400-500 rupees at Westside or Shopper's Stop, came for some handy 40-50 rupees. I dumped most of them, since I believed I wouldn't fit into them. I just got one of them to used as a daily wear, mostly I picked up a skirt and a few short trousers for daily use.
When I started trying them one by one at home later in the night, I could clearly see that I had underestimated myself. The only Tee I had picked up, fitted me so well and looked nothing worse than the ones picked up from any of the renowned stores. I was all so excited, but disappointed too, I could have picked up more.
Db gives me that oh-you-are-incorrigible look and gets busy with his laptop.

The next day is Sunday, but Db is working today...he's got some urgent project delivery I believe. I didn't bother him in the morning, but all day all I have been thinking about is the BLOCKBUSTER SALE. I wanted to pick all Tees that I dumped the other day since now I know they would fit. Db comes back early in the evening, the sale is written all over my face and not to be forgotten, he can read some minds too...so we head to the sale again.

But to my utter frustration, the crowd is four times what it was the other day and I don't find any of my favorite garments any more. Arghhhh!!!

But I have my knight in shining armour by my side, he plunges into the crowd, and like a skillful diver comes out with all the collections I had missed out on.

And that makes me a proud owner of some 3 shorts, 1 skirt and 7 tees, which cost me all for just a thousand bucks, which could have easily cost me more than a 3-4 thousand at any branded showroom. Yipeeeee!!!
As much as I pat my back for being an intelligent shopper, Db deserves more than a mention for the hunt.

Thanks Love.

PROBLEMS...

Why there are always problems in life??? Why can't everything go according to plan???
When everything just looks good and wonderful, problems have to poke their nose into it...
But every problem contains the seeds of its own solution...It isn't that you can't see the solution, it's that you can't see the problem.

While working as a trainee at Cognizant, I had a senior named Gitanjali.

I was new to Java then, many a times I would get stuck at places, absolutely clueless. Though she was not from my team, she would go out of her way to help me out. She had a strange way of solving my problems. She wouldn't touch the keyboard, just sit next to me, and ask me to explain the flow to her, asking a few questions here and there. Once we are done once...she would tell me "Chal phir se samjha"...Then eventually while explaining her the flow again and again, I would find the bug myself.

She taught me this golden trick. When you are looking at a problem for a long time, you tend to look at it from a single dimension. So, when ever you feel that you have tried all you could to solve a problem, get hold of a BAKRA, explain the entire flow to him...even if you don't get the bug yourself, certainly he would give you a new dimension to think of it.

Not only in work, I feel in real life it holds good too. Whenever you are in bad times, your brain stops working, and you tend to get into deeper sh*t.

Whenever I have a problem I talk to my friends.

I get more dimensions of the problem, and better solutions than I can think of at that time.

Well...A life without problems would be as boring as a film without a villain.

As they say...Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them...
So, here I am fighting against all problems of my life and others, and take pride in saying "What doesn't destroy me, makes me stronger"

RUNNING A FEVER

I came across this today when I had to send a mail to my client saying that one of my team members was absent since she is RUNNING A FEVER.

Why do they say running a fever...
You can run a dog, run a car, you can a have a running nose as well...
But how can you run a fever???

For sure, English is a very FUNNY language.

Update: Db suggested a few more
Raining cats and dogs...meaning heavy rains.
I knew sometimes small creatures like frogs and fish fall from the sky during rain, since they can easily get carried up during storms...but how can it rain cats and dogs!!!

Paint the town... meaning to go out and celebrate.
????

I got some good reasoning here.

ROADIES…BEEEEEEEEEP DOWN UNDER

This year is the first time that I have been following the show. The last year I watched only a few episodes. This time I even followed the auditions…

Ok I admit, I find it interesting, to see how the taklus Raghu and Rajiv "bajao" the contestants. Call it obscene, full of abusive words, foul language, dirty bitching & girls who are nothing but bimbettes, but there is something about it that keeps you glued to the television set… may be as humans we enjoy people being humiliated, take sadist pleasure from their pain, to watch friends fight among themselves and rivals teamed up for a task. But what I wonder is, has it never occurred to any of the contestants that they could actually sue the producers for certain tasks which were downright inhuman, for instance the one where the guys were being hit in the balls if the girls gave wrong answers in the quiz, girls are made to cat fight and strip (the last season)...is the Ram Sene listening!!?

Talking about this season, the person I watch out for during the tasks is Poulomi…she puts me rolling on floor laughing. What a dumb ass…err…BEEEEEEP.

She was the same girl, who in her auditions said she had three steady boyfriends, she loved all the three of them, and they all know about each other…she tried to commit suicide by jumping into the Hubli river, since some friend had done black magic on her. I mean how much more stupid can it get. I really wonder what were these guys thinking when they selected her for the show. I don’t even find her sexy or adding any spice to the show…she is just outrageously silly.

I thank God that that gujju guy Dev volunteered out before he could get on my nerves. I think he was marginally better than Poulomi…

Sufi is the guy I would like to win. He is sensible, courageous and confident. Pity, he was voted out on the first day.

Norman is the perfect example of empty vessels that sound too much. I would have liked him if he weren’t so overconfident.

Palak, She is a good performer among the girls, but she is least known for that, she is more so for her irritating nasal voice, always abusing. When she speaks, its more of beeps and less words. The fact that she was voted out soon, made me believe that roadie was a genuine show but getting her back made the show unbearable, this makes roadie also look like one of the TRP hungry reality shows.

Samrat is gone, but I believe, he was a good performer and quite sorted.

Natasha, I cant care less for her. But she is certainly better than the other girls on the show.

One thing's for sure though, that you have kiss good bye to your dignity , if you want to be part of this show....for its not easy to abuse so liberally on camera (especially when you know that millions are watching you, including your own family), to make a fool of yourselves (That's what I feel Devarshi & Poulomi are doing), and to face the taunts and insults thrown at you from other contestants.

And something that I would like to tell the makers of Roadies, The beeps don’t help, we can still make out exactly what abuse is being thrown in.

WHAT MADE ME FAMOUS...

During my second year of engineering, there was one particular incident. Those days we were a group of seven girls, a gang in college. Our batch was giving welcome to our juniors. Some guy, while giving his intro, on stage, mentioned
NAARI NARQ KA DWAR HOTI HAI (Woman is the entrance to hell).

That had somehow agitated my dear friend LP, who was sitting below as audience. She couldn’t take this attack on the modesty of women and impulsively gave it back to the guy, at the top of her voice…
SAALE!!! USI DWAR SE TOH TUM LOG NIKALTE HO (You guys come from the same entrance).

Suddenly the entire hall went quiet for a moment. And the next second moment, the roof came down, with the whole crowd roaring with laughter. We were scandalized…our group had just become famous. After we returned from the event to the hostel, others in the group had no qualms giving her a piece of their minds. LP was obviously quite apologetic about her remark…but the thank-God-cows-don’t-fly moment was when she mentioned that what actually she wanted to say was,
USSI DWAR MEIN GHUSNE KE LIYE TOH TUM LOG MARE JAATE HO (It’s the same entrance you guys are dying to drive in to).
She opted for the other remark, since she believed this one would be too indecent to say. I must say we were obliged to her with our lives for having spared us those golden words.

While on our vacation last week for Bhai’s wedding, we happened to make a visit to one of Db’s friends. Knowing the name of my college, he got excited suddenly, it seems his younger brother was my junior at college. ‘I will tell him your name, I am sure he’d recognize you’, he said.

I bet he would…

FILING FOR VISA

Got to file my HSMP Visa ASAP. It seems they are gonna change the selection criteria, starting from April. I would then have to be a post graduate to file for the same. So this VISA thing has to be catalyzed to be completed by March lest I do not want any longer single hood days extending to a year or more, nor do I want to travel on a dependent VISA with no work permit.

The toughest part is, need to invest almost a LAKH for the VISA it seems…
AAHHHHHHHHH…MERE PAISE!!!!!

A LESSON LEARNT...

I came back from my brother’s wedding the day before. Frankly speaking I have never been very fond of my sister in law, not that we are on logger heads, we are rather very cordial to each other…but we aren’t the best of friends, unlike the way I am with Db’s sister.
But there is always something to learn from every person.

I remember the days when I just got married, I looked nothing less of a villager, straight out from a KANJIVARAM house, loaded with gold, and overdosed with red. That’s because, the new bride is supposed to look like a showpiece to respective relatives, of the kind of clothes and ornaments that she brings along. My in laws place had had a huge gang of relatives (the wedding video has it…when I entered the house, I feared my life…I thought I would die in the stampede), and a good chunk of them were above middle aged, who are in general more particular about the bahu looking like a bahu. So I had to be all red, with huge red BINDI, gold jewelry, GHUGHAT, heavy KANJIVARAM SAREES and above all GAJRA…eeks!!!! Db and I mutually decided we didn’t want to see those pictures again, so the album has been shoved into a corner and I have no idea where the CD is lying…and we also don’t show our wedding pics or CD to anyone.

But here I saw my SIL in a welcome new avatar.
Despite of the fact that I loathed the long hours that she spent in the parlors, the kind of money she spent on every single dress that she was wearing (more so since they are not reusable), but that fact that she was all so interested in herself is commendable. She was particular about every single inch of fat that she might put on, the kind of colors that suit her, the kind of jewelry that would go with her dress and personality. She wore all fancy sarees, not necessarily in red, she wore all good looking PATIALAS, slacks and Kurtas, perfect make up, and I must say she was looking great. I agree to the fact that, it was more because, we do not have our so called relatives breathing on our neck all the time, and my family is absolutely liberal in terms of what the bahu has to be wearing…but she took up this chance and was at her best…sure she wont be hiding her wedding albums from everyone.

May be I could have done the same. Agreed there were more people to please, and ones who are difficult to please as well, but It could have been better than what it turned out to be. May be I could have shopped for myself than leaving it all on my Mom, instead of just surrendering to what people made me into…I could have taken a stand and done myself they way I would like to see myself. But I rather, concentrated on pleasing others and hence a made a mess of one of my most memorable experience of my life.

Ah well!!! My SIL, deliberately or not deliberately has taught me the value of taking care of oneself. There were people congratulating my brother on his wedding and also for having got such a pretty wife.
Ever since my marriage, I have been more careless than ever, I hardly go to a parlour…my hair, my face, my clothes are all in a mess. I haven’t taken care of myself ever since. When we clicked a pic with my Dad, him holding me on one side and my SIL on the other, I could see the difference, she looked like a princess and I like..errr ahem ahem!!!

No I haven’t got a complex…for sure. I have always been like that…when in college I wouldn’t look at the mirror for days together, my friends would joke at me by asking when was the last I saw the mirror.
But I just see the importance of taking yourself seriously.
In April a few of Db’s friends are expected to come to Bangalore. It’s the same friend whose wife saw my wedding pics and commented on my weight (grrrrrrrrrr!!!), though I wasn’t all that fat, it was just the KANJIVARAM Saree. I really wanna present a better self to them, cant wait to see the twinkle on Db’s face when they compliment him about me.

OUR FIRST WEDDING ANNIVERSARY

To my wonderful husband, Db, and I. Wish you a very happy anniversary.

Whoooooooa!!! We have completed one year to our wedding, but lemme tell you it doesn’t feel half as long. Yes, the initial couple of days were trying times, but for sure, that has made our relationship a lot stronger and we, as a couple have grown so much closer.

Db is the best husband I could have. Yeah I know, a lot of women say the same thing about their husbands, but Db sure is. There are a few observations which bring me to this conclusion.

Firstly, in an arranged marriage in the Oriya community, it’s literally impossible to get a good bargain in terms of an accommodating, non interfering and yet supportive husband who respects your freedom as much as he does for himself. Trust me, I met a lot of DHAKKANS before I tied the knot.

Secondly, I am a real difficult person to be with…more due to my patience which is literally non-existent. I wear my brains on my heels most of the time and my switch for logic is short circuited. He puts up with a lot from me & right now I am taking this opportunity to tell him….THANK YOU! THANK YOU for ALWAYS being there for me. You are my everything. Without you I’m pretty sure my world would not exist.

And also, we have NOTHING in common, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING …and no marks for guessing who KINDLY ADJUSTS.

I guess what I’m trying to say is our differences hold us together, make us whole and keep things interesting.

I love that you are the last person I talk to before I go to sleep and the first person I see when I wake up…

So here’s raising a toast to our HAPPY WALLA wedding anniversary and I sincerely hope we have many more of the same in the years to come.

Cheers!!!

ADIEU SINGLEHOOD...

Db is back since last night…so hereby my single hood days come to an end.

Hey not that I am complaining. Of course because Db has got me soooooooooo many gifts from London, and a new microwave last night, and more new dresses and jewelry coming up this weekend, for my brother’s wedding in feb and not to forget we planned a vacation also(hurray !!! couple pics finally!!!). HOR KI CHAEEDA.

Of all pics that he’s got from London, there’s one that needs a special mention. Have a look at this one.

I was wondering whose statue was that, but that actually turned out to be a BEGGAR on the streets of LONDON. BEGGARS!!! IN LONDON!!! News to me!!!

Also the first question that struck me was…the money he spent on his attire could have easily sufficed him the money for food that he was begging for. But Db tells me that the beggars in London are not like the ones in India, they are pretty better-off financially. He mentioned a beggar that he spotted on the railway station who was playing an electronic guitar, which costs 200$-250$ on an average.

I wonder then why do they have to beg at all.

Hey, in that case, was the Bachan senior playing a beggar in JBJ??? All this while I thought he was playing rock star or something.

Hmm….

GRRRRRRRR!!!

@ 12 am

For more reasons than one:

Db's stay has been extended by another week...

I have had enough of my singlehood days...FULTOO BORED

None of my friends are free to meet me over the weekend...

My code is giving some weird error...

Satyam shares have fallen down to rupees 6...

And while I am ALL-SO-ANGRY, i am over a conference call with Db and his friend, who are discussing the margins if they open a boiled egg/omlette shop at the major office locations in Bangalore.

Grrrrrrrrr!!!

UPDATE @ 1 am

Now they are advocating laziness. All intelligent people are lazy, and only fools work hard. And the fact that we are lazy makes us intelligent.

I am not even in a mood to challenge this utterly KAMINI philosophy.

Grrrrrrrrrr Again!!!

HOME ALONE…BACK TO MY SINGLE DAYS FOR SOMETIME – III

My colleagues at office argued with me last night that Surya was better than Aamir in the Tamil version of Ghajini, I managed to catch a few scenes of the same on youtube…and without any doubts…Aamir rocks!!!

What a dull day this morning!!!

While I am staying alone, getting up at nine in the morning seems too early. Half the days I skip my breakfast and the other half of the days I skip my dinner.

My alarm shot at nine today. There was no sun in the balcony, I checked and rechecked the time, since it appeared no more than seven. Damn it’s actually nine. I literally dragged myself to cook something for dinner lest I skip dinner again today. I felt like a drunken monkey.

Reached office but there isn’t too much work either. Since last two weeks I have turned quite efficient. I am quite happy with my own performance this fortnight. That matters more than what others think. I can also point out a few limitations and bugs in hibernate. Howzzat!!!!

I never knew there were so many CHINDICHORS in my office. I got a new 2GB memory card and a pair of new earphones for my phone the other day. I kept the earphones in my drawer and somehow forgot to lock my drawer. My earphones are missing this morning. GRRRRRRRRR!!!!

The entire office, the news channels, the newspapers…all are talking about just one thing…SATYAM. Dude…I have some shares worth a ten thousand with Satyam, I bought them at 138 and now they are worth just 35. Damn!!!
I had this discussion with my colleagues this evening on this, as most of them would say that Ramalinga Raju is a fraud. Lot have been said and done about the same, Satyam Computers stripped off Golden Peacock Global Award, and they have been removed from the Sensex and Nifty as well…and sure a lot more is yet to come with each passing day.

But I actually feel sad for the guy. I mean…come on…who doesn’t manipulate balance sheets. I am sure all companies do it to some extent. You cant strive in business if you are a saint.

At school we manipulated the readings in the physics lab, the teacher knew it, I am sure he would have done it when he was in our shoes.
We get adulterated stuff everywhere, the milk, the rice, the oil…you name it.
People tamper with horoscopes in marriages.
The shopping malls increase the market price by 75% and give a 50% SALE on it.
Don’t we all tamper with data at some point for personal gain.

Yes, the crime is to get caught...and that's where Satyam went wrong.

I don't advocate what Ramalinga Raju has done but for sure he is not the only one, he is the only one who got caught...yet if he is to be believed, he hasn't used the money for his personal benefits, he just wanted to prevent his company from being taken over. So all I feel for him is pity and more so towards the employees who have their jobs at stake, more so since the IT is going through the worst recession phase...and the investors like me who are losing their hard earned money.

LOOKING BACK AT 2008

Some of my favorites moment of 2008:

The day I returned from our engagement and we went to the coffee shop at ROYAL ORCHID at 2am. 

My wedding with Db.

Our first valentines day, which was also the 4th day of our married life.

My first diamonds.

My new bike .

The day Db score 99 percentile in then SIMCAT, with absolutely no preparation.

Watching JODHA AKBAR with Db, which was our first movie together. 

The late night long drives.

Getting into the TCS top 100.

The few weeks that Db is out of country, I loved my single days.

My favorite movies:

Rock On

A Wednesday

Ghajini ( that’s only for Amir Khan)

Madagascar

Slumdog Millionare

HOME ALONE…BACK TO MY SINGLE DAYS FOR SOMETIME – II

It was a normal day at office.
I am getting to learn hibernates better with each passing day, which is also helping me get my confidence back. Well I always believed that being single makes you more efficient, so I hereby rest my case.

Last night I reached home around ten. Had a quick dinner (GOBI DA PARATHAS, again), spoke to my brother and his fiancée (huh!!!) on a conference call. Then spoke to Db on web cam till one. He showed me his apartment in London and a few pics from the flight.
At one I decided I wanted watch some movie, so scanned my pen drive for something that might look interesting (Db had actually copied some movies to my pen drive before leaving for London…cho chweeeet), got a movie called DIL KABADDI. It had quite an impressive cast but the movie was equally DABBA.
By two thirty, I couldn’t torture myself anymore with that shit. So I decided to sleep.

I have been worried all these days that when Db would be away, I would be scared to sleep alone in the dark. More so since just a few weeks back, a family staying just the floor above had committed suicide. I can see the living room window of that house open from my main door, and that open window scared me. We made sure that before Db leaves, we have good bed lighting system in the house and also I decided to keep the kitchen light on while I am sleeping during the night, never to step out to look at the gaping open window and avoid the kitchen as much as possible late night. But at the same time,all of it seemed weird, I have never been so chicken hearted all my life, so what is it that's tarnishing my spirit.
But thankfully, my spirit hasn’t died yet. Last night I came at ten in the night while the window was still open, moved to the kitchen quite a few times within twelve to two thirty in the night, and slept with all lights off. **BOW**

Well…in the morning the alarm shot at nine. I hit it shut and went back to sleep. Then suddenly the door bell rang, I woke to see that the maid was here for work. Damn she is early, I swore. I glanced at watch in the drawing room…I somehow felt it said 10.45. Ah!!! That damned watch has roman letters, and I am still half asleep to read roman.
I look at my mobile for time, its INDEED 10:45. DAMN!!! Suddenly as if the FORWARD button has been triggered on me.

Déjà vu…I wonder when was the last time I had been this careless…waking up almost before noon and rushing to office, skipping my bath ;)

HOME ALONE…BACK TO MY SINGLE DAYS FOR SOMETIME-I

Db is out of country for a fortnight. He started today morning around 5, I have been awake since then. First, it was the anxiety till his flight takes off and I am awake till now, for a similar anxiety for his flight to land…TEN TEN TENNEN…I have turned a wife…humph!!!

But it's comes with a good puff of my good old spinsterhood days. My TV hasn’t been off since 5 in the morning, I watched GHAJINI online (a full paragraph on that is coming next), had a conference call with Mom Dad and my Brother ( and his fiancée…huh!!!) online, finished a bottle of Thumps up, cooked for myself a couple of GOBI DA PARATHAS, planning to watch a few more movies(Oye Lucky Lucky Oye is in the queue) , in days to come after returning from office(late night, that is…), catch up with some old friends...quite sums up my life when I was single. The only difference is, I am missing Db a little too much…sigh!!!

Well coming to Ghajini…
I don’t say it’s a great movie…I saw a few scenes of the Telgu(or was it Tamil???) version and seems like it was a scene to scene copy of the original. But what makes this film special is one person called AMIR KHAN. I mean each word when I say I have no words to describe his acting. All bullshit that the media does about who is the King of bollywood…no SRK, no Salman, no Akshay can anywhere come anywhere close to Aamir. What an Amazing(with a capital A) performance…man you rock. You outdo yourself each time. He has very few dialogues in the movie, I have hardly seen a film where the main protagonist has such less words for himself…but man he still speaks louder than any of his costars, through this face and eyes. My favorite scene is the one when Jiah Khan reminds Aamir of his past at the hospital…the opening of the scene when Aamir is sitting on his bead totally blank, to the confused look on meeting Jiah, to his expression of ‘please tell me more’ all conveyed by his eyes and then his explosion in rage when he remembers his past…all these expressions come in a matter of some 10-15 seconds…left me spellbound. Asin is good , in fact quite good for a start in a peppy lovable character, while I wish Jiah Khan would have played a character who was dumb. The movie isn’t a very sleek one and the background score was irritating.

Well…more to come on my blog in the next two weeks, since I haven’t got too much to do after office…

Are you a ‘DUKHI COUPLE’???

We complete 10 months to our marriage today. yeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!
Kudos to Db for bearing me for that long, well…it’s still not over for him though.

Db and me, we had this discussion last night…it was triggered by the pictures of one of my very close friends who got married recently. Apparently she’d been to Mauritius for her honeymoon and hanged some her nice couple pics on orkut.

We have none???

Many of my friends on orkut have been complaining, requesting, urging me to hang some couple pics, but I can’t since I haven’t got any!!!
We couldn’t manage to go on a honeymoon due to our long wedding procedures and the paucity of leaves. Then we had Db’s BILLY and soon after the BILLY was out of the basket, Db has been ever so busy with his office work. So, we never managed to have a good social life either.
That explains the dearth of couple pics.

So do we look like a DUKHI COUPLE!!!
Since we don’t have couple pics, we do not meet a lot of people, not many social gatherings either, do we look like a DUKHI COUPLE to the world of our friends and acquaintances.

Db says it doesn’t matter to him what they think…but somehow it’s bothering me. I need some pics, in some nice location, holding hand in hand, smiling like there is no tomorrow…like a SUKHI COUPLE. Sounds silly…I know, but I want them…and I want them ASAP.

Why ASAP…there is a reason to that. I want to click some good pics before I put on any more weight than I already have.

*Wink!!!

A DAY OF SURPRISES

Last week was a two day week for me, since I was on leave for three days due to my bronchitis treatment. I joined on Thursday only to find that so many issues had been pending. So Friday was a mad mad day, sending status reports, metrics, issue trackers, response of which were awaited on Monday, since Thursday and Friday were bank holidays in US due to the Thanksgiving.

Monday there were no mails at all, no updates on issues, nobody available on the sametime too. We idly waited till 8 and left after leaving a reminder mail.

I come office this morning, I open my mail box and there is a farewell mail from my onsite co-ord. Had he resigned???…I speak to my team mates, nobody seems to know anything. Four other people have been released from our project too, including my manager. It’s believed to be due to cost cutting measures.
We have a release scheduled this Friday, we have been learning web services all these days for a new requirement coming in Jan, there are quite some issues to be fixed in the application…what about all that.

My mail box has a meeting invitation from my client late in the evening today. Is he going to say that we are also getting released? Oh this suspense is killing. I don’t want a release from this project. I have loved this place. Let’s see how the call goes. The future is unsure as of now.

Sigh!!!

UPDATE 3rd Dec 2008:
Seems we are safe as of now. Some people from onsite have been sent back and also a few people from offshore have been released due to cost cutting measures. But seems our team is supposed to hang on for a while. The application release is still schedule n Friday the 5th and we are supposed to fix all pending issues in the next three days.
Quite a relief though.

FEELING SICK AND GUILTY

A grew up hating doctors. Somehow I feel, doctors and hospital make me more sick, I feel they are gonna screw up my immune system.

I have this cold and cough, which is like an accepted companion for life now, I have learned to live with it over time. Nothing new for me this time as well, my most loyal companion has come to visit me yet again. I tried to hush it up with a few cough syrups, but it still managed to come back to me over and over again. But it has been more painful than ever before. Why is what I fail to understand. I have had this problem since ages, never had I been so sick or been taking so many leaves from office. I recall, with my previous employer, once I had met with a serious accident where I hurt my kneecap, I was limping to my office even on weekends…I got an infected eye due to my lenses, I was wearing my thick glasses to office, working with my eyes just a few inches from the screen, since I couldn’t see effectively through the glasses…I still cooked my own food in my flat…managed to go places for grocery and other chores all on my own. So what makes it different this time? I haven’t been cooking since last two days, Db picked me from office last night, and I don’t remember the last week when I worked for 5 days in office.

If Db is to be believed, he says, he’s seen many of his teammates (females) started applying for more sick leaves after they got married. But why. Is it because you get somebody to pamper you…!!! And I have a more comfortable team this time, so I can afford to get relaxed. I guess these are the reasons.

But also, I have a feeling that I haven’t been performing well at office this quarter. Somehow I sense I am the weakest link in my project, due to my performance and due to the fact that I have been taking so many leaves recently. They gave me a rating of four for my confirmation and the hike of a dream, but sure they expected more outta me, which clearly I didn’t meet. I make silly mistakes at work, I mean real silly ones, can’t focus on one thing, and I feel as if everybody around me realizes it too. What hurts me most is the fact that I am not inevitable for this project, while wherever I worked before, I was inevitable for the team. You know, it could also be me and just me thinking that way, since I tend to be a very unconfident individual myself…may be my team doesn’t think so. But so be it, when I feel that I am not worth the ratings I received from this team, I feel sick. I have even considered asking for a release from this project, but somehow I feel that urge to fight back. I try to pick up the toughest work of the assigned ones, but somehow I fall flat most of the time, since I am not able to focus.

I want to come back, gain faith on myself and my capabilities, and prove myself all over again, not to others, to myself primarily. But if I can’t in a few months, I will certainly ask for a release from this project, or look for another job where I can start afresh. I can’t stay here anymore with the feeling that I didn’t deserve what they gave me.

UPDATE 24th November:
I have been diagonalized with Bronchitis. So all that feeling of being sick all these days wasn’t a just a feeling in that case.
I was feeling guilty all the way since I had to take Friday off from office, but now, here I am, on leave on the Monday also, and may be on Tuesday and Wednesday too. I need to visit the hospital twice a day for the Nebulization. So you see, I am quite incapable of joining office. But the guilt factor is growing bigger, I am not capable of delivering what I am expected to. Sigh!!!
I need to try harder and give my best when I join office later this week.

RE-LIVE YOUR LIFE

Some one once told me that wish we had an edit button to life…we could have edited the things that happened which we didn’t like, only preserved things that delight us.

What would you do if you get a chance to relive your life…would you like to it to be the same or would you like add some difference to it.
Let me list out ten things, given a chance, I would have changed:

• I would certainly take up dancing and painting lessons.

• I would spend more time with my parents. I was always selfish to choose to be with my friends, when I should have been with them.

• I would be more fun loving and extrovert at college (parties, discos, boys...I hardly made to any of these) .

• I would do an MBA.

• I would choose the people (read friends) I hang around with more carefully.

• I would be with more men, so that I would get to know the species better (my gang was mostly...all girls) .

• I wouldn’t come to Bangalore (oh…then how could have I found Db then!!! well then…let me rephrase it. I wouldn’t have come to Bangalore for the reasons I did).

• I would work on my confidence, so that I can face life with more of the same.

• I would learn the art of saying NO to people. Something I am still learning… never say YES when you want to say NO.

• I would learn to judge people and their intentions and not to trust them blindly. I then wouldn’t have made a fool of myself. Again something I am still learning.

On the other hand, I don’t really wish to change anything. Since it would also take away what I learnt from my mistakes. I still want to meet the wrong people, so that when I meet the right ones, I’d appreciate them.
Hmm…confused me…ARGH!!!GEMINIS…

Let me hear your list…

Oops I did it again!!!

Yes, I was again offered a chance to move to onsite, but (again), I refused. I can’t you see, just leave everything and off for a year…not possible. I am sure I am soon gonna create a record on my misses, but hey no regrets…I have better things in life to care for.

But then…what’s this!!!

The person who is being sent on my behalf, he asked me to help him fill up his L1 Blanket documents. And here I go…I am jealous...jealous for something which was offered to me first, which I gracefully declined. So, ideally I am not supposed to complain. But here I am, too much human, I want everything…

Sigh!!!

If I could change things...

I am worried for my friend.

She’s been my best buddy since, what, almost ten years.

I remember, the first day at college, the eleventh standard that is. I got through this school, which was supposed to be the best school then, all crème students of the city were part of the school.

Before you start flattering me, as to how bright I was to have made it to this school, I must tell you that it was not my fault at all, the selection panel is to be blamed. I, on the contrary was a round faced, overweighed, unconfident creature, with heavy black glasses and oiled hair, riding on a blue Atlas Goldline Super. Not many were interested in making friendship with me, due to my uninviting personality…I mean not even the girls, forget the men.

I don’t exactly remember how we met, but I do remember that she was the only one I found myself comfortable with…and till date we make the best of friends. She has been there with me thick and thin, though I can’t bet on if I reciprocated the same, I had always been the selfish one. A wonderful person, a great listener, very humble and a go getter. I am completely in awe of her.

Never did I ever think that I would suspect her decisions. I don’t want her to hurt herself. How wish I could help her see some reason. But I can’t, I know.

The most experienced and composed people tend to turn into mere fools. Love actually makes you do strange things; you tend to do things which OTHERWISE you wouldn’t have…because at times like this, you tend to see the world with colored glasses, conveniently ignoring the harsh realities that lie beneath. And when the realities come out in the open to challenge you, the world comes crashing down on you… and all you are left wondering, is how you could have been such a fool. The loss is too much to handle, you lose your innocence, your confidence, the ability to trust people…and all you get is the ghost of the past haunting you all the time.

I wish I could save her from this, since I already see the future which she can’t. I will be happy if she proves me wrong, and see her living happily, and proud of her decisions.

As they say, if you make mistakes in life, God also makes sure you have the capability to bear the consequences. But wish I could change things...

Neverthess, I hope, I am there for her when she needs me.

ONE DAY AT COFFEE DAY...

Yes and I am little too polite (friendly may be) to the waiters at the restaurants I visit…and sometimes it backfires.

There is a COFFEE DAY quite close to my house (within a kilometer diameter is considered to be near in Bangalore). So we happen to visit it quite sometimes. One fine day, when I and Db had been there for breakfast, as we were fighting over the menu, I noticed the waiter smiling at us. I wondered if he understood Oriya, but then we just let that pass.

Many a times, I visit the place on my way back from office, to grab a quick sandwich if I missed my evening snacks at office. One such day, I went in. I was greeted by the same waiter…

Good Evening maa’m…he smiled.

I smiled back

Good evening. Could you please pack me a Chicken Tikka Sandwich. Quick Please.

Sure…Au kichi maa’m.(anything else maa’m)

I impulsively raised an eyebrow and smiled at him

Na..setiki ( No that should be fine)

I left with my parcel. I could hear him say…

Sabdhan re jibe maa’m (please drive carefully maa’m)

I was really touched by his gesture. It sure feels good to find a fellow Oriya in Bangalore…and more so when we acknowledge each other.

Last night I happened to go there again. I was greeted by another waiter, though I could find the Oriya guy at the cashier counter. I ordered my usual sandwich, and sat down on the couch with a coffee to kill time. Soon same Oriya guy arrived with my sandwich and the bill.

So how was the diwali maa’m. he smiled at me.

It was good.

So maa’m, what do you do here?

I work.

Where???

IT. What else do Oriya people do here in Bangalore!!!
Suddenly I realized that most of the security guards, watchmen and cooks were also Oriya in Bangalore. But I was sure I didn’t look like one of them.

Married...he inquired.

Yes…my voice had a tinge of skepticism.

Well maa’m, which place from Orissa do you belong?

Rourkela. And where are you from?

Cuttack. Hmm…Rourkela. My girlfriend got married there.
I raised an eyebrow. I didn’t expect him to give me his love details to someone who is almost a stranger. But visibly he misinterpreted my reaction.

No no maa’m. I have no contacts with her anymore…he cleared (As if I was bothered…huh!!!). Last time I went back to my village, she came with her son. That’s when I met her. I am married now, I have two kids…my daughter is 6 years old and my son is 2. So you see, we are both happywith our lives.

Yeah. I started looking at my watch.

I have been across almost the entire west Orissa, worked in almost all kind of restaurants (I was wondering by any chance he believes that people working in IT can refer waiters at restaurants). But then my parents and my brother shifted to Bangalore, so I thought what would I do alone in Orissa, so I joined them too here.

My smile was fast vanishing now.

Oh maa’m. the guy who joins you here often, he must be your husband right!!!

(What the fuck!!!) Yeah. I gotta leave now. Thanks.

Sure maa’m.

I rushed towards the door.

Sabdhan re jibe maa’m (Please drive carefully maa’m).

I went towards my bike without looking back.

I have always been polite to people of the lower grade. That’s because I believe, that makes them happy, feel individual and acknowledged. The lady who cleans the rest room in my office, the security guard who checks me when I enter the office gate, the helper at the coffee machine, the laundry guy for our apartment, my house maid, I always exchange a “hello…how are you” with them. And it makes me feel good since I do consider life is gonna be terrible without them.

But, this time it was like…

बच्चा समझ के गोद में उठा लीया तो कान में सुसु कर दीया