Six years of togetherness

6 years ago today, I got married to Db.

Six years, siiix...siiiiiiixxxx. It does not feel that long at all.
We were but kids when we got married, and it feels like growing up together, getting to know each other as we grew and having a hand in bringing up each other. And I must say we have well brought up each other and I am quite proud of what each of us has become and we have managed to build a very healthy relationship.

Many people over the years have told me that I am quite a unique person, that they have never met anyone like me. I do not completely deny that nor do I completely accept it. I know its very easy to appreciate someone like me, like someone like me but its very difficult to live with someone like me. It's no mean task, and I applaud Db for living with me since 6 years and still having his sanity intact.

I was all so lucky to find my match who would accept me just the way I was without changing a ounce of me.

Here's raising a toast to US.
I am lucky to have you the last thing I see in a day and first I see in the morning. '

Eeeshhhh!!! That's a lot of cheese!!!!

The Lonely Post

Marriage is a bad thing.

Takes a smart, independent, self sufficient woman and promptly turns her into a damsel in distress. Now, who would have ever imagined that I would fall prey to this.

I have been on my own since I was 16. Hostels and PG's is where I have spent 90% of my life. I recall, that many girls who shared my accommodation, soon felt a need of a boyfriend who can help her run her life. I mean, with additional benefits to both parties, it also helped the girls for their beauty parlor trips, bank jobs, entertainment, gifts that they otherwise wouldn't get for themselves and pampering being a integral part of it. One of the n reasons why I didn't want a man in my life, including the one that nobody asked me is that I didn't need a man to run my life. I was pretty self sufficient and pampering is the last thing I needed.

Then marriage happened.
And mind you Db is not the pampering types, not in the conventional way at least...and I can't thank him enough for that.
Yet, now that he is in US (again!!!), I see myself counting days. Though I must admit that I know how to keep myself busy, I have been reading and painting a lot off late. Yet, when I have my hands off my recreation, I am back to oh-I-am-so-lonely trip.

I need my knight in shining armor who does indeed run my life...in some ways at least. I think I am getting old  now...

HAH!!! I didn't write this...

Updates

A lot of water has flown under the bridge.

1. Had a miscarriage early this year, technically an ectopic pregnancy (go google it!!!)

2. Took my very first travel abroad, went to Boston on work

3. Came back riding high on success, did some real serious work, suddenly I was a STAR at office.

4. The last miscarriage came back pinching again. We realized the terminated foetus never left us. Had to go through a surgery to finally terminate it.

5. The good run at office backfired. I became a sad victim of politics and almost lost my job. Greater visibility can sometimes become a bad thing. But there was still some luck left for me, so found a new job with a startup company and left the organization with my head held high.

6. The startup company turned out to be a lame duck. Yet again I had some luck left and found a good job within a couple of days. Left the startup within a week of joining and joined my current employer on a higher salary and (hopefully) more stable profile.

7. Completed some really difficult paintings, so I guess I have crossed the next level in the craft.

8. Bhai's marriage is fixed this December. Wishing him all the success.

9. SIL's groom hunt takes off.

10. Finally, bought a vacuum cleaner for the house.

Okay, I added the last one just to round it off to 10. Sue me!!!

My i10

I got a new car...
Db wanted a black car(I thought that was a depressing color) and I wanted a red(to which he gave me that what-nonsense look), so we decided mid way, to get a grey car.

 Its supposed to be meant for me, once get a polished hands on driving that is.
Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

Getting Ready...

Two women in my team are pregnant, so that makes me the only woman in the team who is married and dosen't have babies.
So it was obvious that I would become the soft target of the rest of the women folk around, trying to advice me to start a family before its too late.
Whatever!!!

But this certainly is something I cannot postpone forever. I know Db is still young to be a father, but I am probably very quickly surpassing my age to be a mother(One of the big problems when you marry someone just your age).

But it scares me...

I had kidney stones, and they then said if you have gone through this pain, child birth will be a breeze. I am sure they are kidding me...labour pains can make kidney stones feel like mosquito bites in comparison, I believe.

I have high BP and also breathing problems. So don't think medically its gonna be a cake walk for me either.

And again, I don't see myself being the kind of woman who can't think beyond her baby, I would still have my life, I would still like to give my importance to my carrer, would still think beyond just the well being of the kid.

Basically...not the best mother a child could ask for.

So I do not think I am ready yet, but then are we ever ready for anything at all in life!!!

Tanhayee...

I haven't been too regular offlate...have I!!!
Don't blame me, for I have too many to pass on the blame to.

Not that I am working my ass off, yet I haven't been able to visit my blog very often...Please do not ask me why, don't get me started on that!!!

Well...Db is travelling tomorrow for his away day to Goa. Since its a pleasure tour provided by his employer, spouses are not invited (But of course!!! How can you have pleasure when your spouse is around). Somebody at my office suggested I join him on my expense but I guess the best of the boys also need a break from their wifes once in a while...so be it. Jaa je le apni zindagi...

So its gonna be 'main aur meri tanhayee' for a couple of days.
Not that I mind, I am gonna enjoy my late night movies, my solitude shopping, waking up in the afternoon and lying on the bed all day like a sunbathing crocodile.

Is divorce the easy way out???

During hostel days, the sunday matrimonial were a great way to have a good time. Most importantly the ads of people wishing to marry the second time or nth time, we used to read and discuss them and laugh about the fact that you find all kinds of people in this world. You do not then understand the pain that those people have gone through...not unless it happens to someone you love so much.

Its difficult and draining when someone in your family is going through marital problems, and there is one in my family who is going through the said problem. Now I understand when people in their second marraige ad would say 'issueless divocee'...now do I understand what you mean by it and may be I should have never laughed over them.

But is divorce the easy option???
I donno.
This generation and most importatly the women in this generation are a group of screwed up maniacs. These are people who probably run after an oasis while losing out on the real pleasures of life. Agreed...for different people, happiness means different things. But what is the happiness worth if you are carrying the curse and tears of so many people including people who brought you into this world. The woman here in question, in her quest of happiness is at the verge of losing everything, her husband, in laws and her own parents too. What kinda happiness does that bring, one which you'd probably celebrate alone without a shoulder from your own family, the so called happiness that you get after ruining the life of another unsuspecting man who had nothing to do with you or your moronic ideologies. Why is this woman being so selfish???

I mean, which couple doesn't have differences, what kinda couple gets along all the time!!! But you have to give it your best shot, you have to have an intention of keeping up and nourishing a relationship and not just walk out at the drop of a hat.
I believe we live to add value...I being alive give happiness to my parents, my husband is happy to have me, my in-laws are hopefully okay with a bahu like me, I have a good going carrer and people happily support me because I am one of the reason for peace and happiness to them...if I am not there tomorrow all these people would miss my presence. But having brought her to this world what did she add, her parents are embarrased to have a daughter like that, she ruined the peace and harmony of my happy family, if she dies tomorrow, to whom will that matter. I for one would sigh peace.

I strongly believe she got a very good family and a great husband, so much so that her own parents to a good extend are supporting us and not her. Unfortunate are the people who do not get good relationships in life, but more more unfortunate are those people who get the right people but they lose them because they take them for granted.

I do not care if she regrets this tomorrow, nor do I care what she does with her life to the extend that I do not care if she lives or dies tomorrow (rather I wish she fails in every walk of her life)...because we have had enough of her already.
I am only concerned about him. Is it easy to nurse the wound given by a two year long bad marraige??? Is the divorce thing easy for men!!!...considering that women have more legal rights than men, and also I am not sure to what extend this woman can stoop down to. Will he ever be able to trust another woman??? For him, being a man all of 29 years, is it easy to remarry and settle down again???

The bygone weekend...

Note : This post is gonna be very long and self-indulgent. Read it only if you have nothing better to do.
Now that you are going ahead with reading the post, you have agreed that you are sitting as wella like me. Join the club.

An interview to remember...

I had this interview in the EGL campus in Domlur around 1pm on Saturday. I was pretty interested in the company because I had heard they pay well and also they are very close to my place. May be that's the reason that stopped be from walking out even though they made me wait for almost 2 hours, a practice I normally follow if the waiting time exceeds 45 ins.
Whatsoever, I was called in for the interview. The interviewer was quite a good looking man, may be in his early thirties...My java questions went very well, better than I had expected. But,when he wanted to know my experience in webservices, I had only a couple of months on my resume. Yet with what little I remembered, I was able to answer a few high level questions. But they wanted somebody in a lead role, hence my experience in webservices would not suffice.The interviewer couldn't be sorry enough, he said sorry to me almost 5 times...since he thought my java experience was quite good but I would be an outright reject if he passed me to the next technical panel, who apparently would judge me only on my webservice experience.

He called out my name as I opened the door to leave...
'I am gonna remember your name...unique one'
'Yes' I said. 'There is only one'
'Not even on orkut or facebook???'
'None' I said.
'I am gonna find out...' He smiled.
'Okay'(!!!???)
'And yes I am sorry again...you were good'
'Please don't be...you are just doing your job' I smiled and left.

Where the hell were these people while I was single...shit !!!

The high Maintainance wife...

It was not planned. We wanted to buy a good saree for the MIL during our visit this July. We cheked at a few shops and we found the rates were ridiculously high. This Saturday, while a soon would-be-married friends were planning to go for their wedding shopping to Chikpet, we decided to join in.

Not being the kind who is so selfless to travel to another corner of Bangalore just to buy a saree for the MIL, I obvioulsy had other plans for myself...but not as evil as it eventually turned out to be.One of these shops had a dres material hung on display...I queried the price and he said it was for four hundred."Okay...I am interested...!!!"I went in to dig out similar cheap offerings that they might have, but after almost an hour I exited the shop with shopping bags worth 2000 rupees only.Also to be noted that I am to pay 1100 rupees to the tailor who is stiching those dresses for me.

BTW...I bought a nice and expensive saree for the MIL too.

Adieu Cockroaches...Plz don't come back

We went on a house cleansing mission this Sunday. The cockroaches have been a pain in the a** for quite long. So, finally we went a killing spree, our wepons being a red Hit spray and a broom to kill the cockroaches who managed to escape from the spray.
After a struggle that lasted more than an our we had the blood of almost a hundred cockroaches on our hands.
But the final result is good, my kitchen is devoid of cockroaches and that gives me a lot of peace.

Taking the Healthy options...

Since the kitchen smelled of the cockroach spray, cooking was a bad option. But the last thing that we wanted was to order food since we together weight a ton already, and putting on any more weight will result in long unending bills to the doctors.
Well...it was time then to try on firang food items like salad.I made something called a portuguese salad, inspired by the one I had in Nandos the previous day. It turned out quite tasty and filling...so much so that I made some more of it and carried to office for breakfast.

I plan to experiment more on the various kinds of salads that can be tasty and healthy at the same time. Hopefully we'd both lose some weight then.

What did you do to get your first Android....

I was born this date 28 years ago, and managed to con a gadget freak man to marraige...

Happy birthday to me...

Difficult to please

Db : (puppy faced)I want the iPad2.
Me : Okay. Lets buy it.
Db : (puppy faced again)Ummmmmm...!!! Its very costly.
Me : Okay. Lets not buy it then.
Db : What's my b'day gift then...you never gift me anything.
Me : Okay lets buy the iPad.
Db : Too costly.
Me : How about a watch?
Db : I already have three.
Me : Few new T-shirts...
Db : Nah...I have enough.
Me : Okay PS3...
Db : I dont like playing games.
Me : Okay. A nice novel. I know you like to read.
Db : Hmm...that works. You could do that.
Me : Great. (I know he likes John Grisham)

Next day.
Db : Which book have you decided for me.?
Me : John Grisham.The Confession.
Db : Hey don't buy that. I already have that e-book in my kindle.
Me : Okay. How about 'The Associate'
Db : I have that too.
Me : 'The Appeal'???
Db : That too.
Me : Could you please visit the site and tell me which one you haven't read.
Db : (After a while) Hmm...most of them.
Me : Basically I should chuck the book buying idea?
Db : Hmm...well Yes.
Me : So what the hell do you want!!!
Db : (puppy faced)I want the iPad2.

Repeat Block one.

Men's Gadgets vs woman's clothes

Last night Db asked my opinion on buying a wireless keyboard.

Me : And what would you do with it. We do not have a desktop anyway, 3 laptops all with their own keyboards. Where would you use it?
Db : I will connect the laptop to the TV and use the keyboard with it.
Me : **Rolling my eyes**
Db : You don't think its a good idea?
Me : Its a psycho idea.

Db : I don't spend anything on gadgets.
Me : You do. You just bought a new phone...the Samsung Galaxy Ace. While your HTC was in great condition.
Db : My HTC is a dinosaur, it uses windows 5. What else did I buy?
Me : You bought the Netbook, while we already had 2 laptops.
Db : Thats because the mother board of my compaq laptop was damaged...
Me : And you got that fixed too for 10 thousand. What about the Kindle???
Db : Yeah I would accept that. But I use it.
Me : And the iPod Touch???
Db : That was a gift, freee.
Me : No, you asked your friend to get it for you from the US. He chose to gift it us as a belated wedding gift.
Db : Okay.
Me : And that laptop stand, with a fan, to keep your laptop thanda.
Db : Thats anything but a gadget.
Me : Whatever!!! The light to read the kindle in dark.
Db : I am gonna kill myself if you call that a gadget.
Me : Anything that has been bought from a croma or ezone and is or used in a computer/tablet/e-book reader qualifies as a gadget.

Db : I am terribly offended. I am gonhna hit you where it hurts the most.

He starts checking his credit card satements since 2010 to check for how much I have spent on clothing and home appliances, which comes to almost 50K.

But here is my defence.
This 50K also includes your jeans for almost 2500, SIL's shopping close to 2000, your shoes from Reebok for 6000 and may be around 3000 that we shopped at Jeypore when we visited there in October.
That leaves me with a little more than 35K. That's almost equal to the price of the iPad if I would have let you buy it.

So not bad..huh!!!

I wanna un-know things

Read it somewhere...just tweeking it a little bit to suit myself.

I wish I could unknow things...you like we know things, wish we could unknow them as well. Because when you know things, and finally decide to do something based on your knowings you still cannot go to sleep contended. Because people around you who matter will have opinions, justifications and questions on our actions. These opinions, justifications and questions are all I fear. I fear I am losing respect for people I ought to respect. I fear what if at the end of it, its me who turns out to be wrong.

Museebat padi, toh roya tha,
Jyada mussebat padi, toh chup ho gaya tha,
Bahut zyada museebat padi hai, toh hasta hoon,
Aakhir duniya mein basta hoon

Three years of marraige...completes

Okay...so we celebrate our third anniversary today. How, you might ask...
The answer to that is Db is celebrating his anniversary with his clients discussing his new requirements and I am celebrating mine coding to generate RTGS payment messages.
Gifts...yes. We do have them. He bought me a pair of jeans last week, which FITS. And I presented him the 3000 rupees worth free books facility that my employer gave me for completeing an year with them.

But the good part is, no one's complaining.
Why...may be because we never felt the need to have a special day to have to express our love to each other, or a reason to celebrate our togetherness. The fact that we cherish and celebrate being together each day, takes away the need to celebrate that one special day.

Hmm...so if you are reading this and I know you will.
I know you carry the guilt when I go out all by myself to buy chicken for dinner while you were merrily lying on the bed surrounded by your favorite gadgets, or when ever you found me standing in the volvo unable to find myself a seat to office, or when ever you found me cleaning the house fanatically of your papers,jackets, clothes and wires...
I know you carry the guilt of giving me a tougher married life than I had anticipated...yet just having you makes up for all of it. Coz, niether did I ever anticipate sharing a such a great life with you.

Eeshhh!!! I have never been half this cheesy!!! okay...I didn't write this. My system just got hacked and has probably been taken over by SRK inspired virus.

Snippets

@lifestyle.

Me : **Picking up two handbags** So which one do you like?
Db : **Hardly bothering to look** Niether.
Some giggling teenagers around : **What else!!! Giggle uncontrollably**

Men...Phew!!!

My year revisited - 2010 is coming to an end

Another week, and the year is gone by.
Its been a quite happening year, many major decisions taken, many events that affect life forever and the bitter taste of how compromises feel like.

Let me pen them down, the major events of 2010

The job switch : 8th Feb, I decided to call it quits, I quit my job and joined here. I was quite skeptical about this job profile and intended only to stay till I get a better offer. But I did end up staying here despite of the crappy project and team and outdated technologies. Why??? probably I would be able to answer that next year.

Bhai gets a job : After more than a year of hardship, Bhai finally landed with a job at HCL. It not only boosted his confidence, and brought an end to misery of the entire family which made us all lose sleep for all these days, but also fixed most of his issues in his personal life as well...or so I'd like to believe.

Db's Australia trip : Db visited Australia for work, and stayed almost 3 months. We got to have a taste of singlehood again, yet it was necessary not just because we needed the money that came from it...also to realize that we do not want to stay away from each other for such a long time ever again.

We bought a house : A decision that affected us like never before. To buy this house of our dreams, We took up a home loan for 40 lakhs, which we are paying up each month. Most of our savings are gone and we find ourselves cutting on many little things that we desire. But as they say, you cannot have everything...to gain something, you have to lose something else.

A realization : I realized eventually that being polite and nice doesn't help. This is one trait that could make you proud of yourself, but the world doesn't need it. You could probably do things for people considering them as your duty towards them, or empathizing on their situation but the feeling also has to be mutual. It can't be one-sided. I somehow don't find the reflection of my empathy on the other side, which makes me feel I am being taken advantage of. All was well, till I started getting uncomfortable of the fact that my kindness is being taken as my weakness/ foolishness. I am not a fool, its just that I cannot bring myself to hurt people who matter or should matter. But clearly now that the feeling is not mutual. So its time to take a stand and get as selfish as I can get.

And finally : Its my maid who triggered it, though she is not the only one...she was just the final nail in the coffin.

Maid : Didi...why don't you consider expanding your family?

Me: We have enough responsibilities now, lets finish them off first. Then probably we'd have time to think about ourselves.

Maid : Hmm...(she understands!!!) But you should think about yourself also naaa. A kid will bring happiness to both of you.

Me : Achaa...and who'd take care of that happiness??? We are both too busy with our jobs. I cant quit mine...we need the money that comes from it.

Maid : Main hoon naa (Aila SRK!!! After cooking, cleaning and dusting...she wants to extend her services to baby sitting). I'll handle everything, you don't worry at all.

Hmm!!! Maidy dear, you were the only one who was pending to coax me into it. And now that my parents, Db parents, my relatives, Db's relatives, our neighbours, my parents neighbours, Db's parents neighbours, my collegues, Db's collegues, the neighbouring cats, dogs, cows, mosquitoes, cockroaches and at last my maid also wants it...I finally give up.

Next year its is...now will you puhleeeze stop bothering me!!!

As simple or as complex as you please...

At the wrong side of twenties, I look back to recall the various problem sets that I came across at various age brackets. And I remember playing the Agony Aunt to all these problems.

I must admit I have had a pretty uncomplicated life, the reason being that I always wanted it that way. I believe I am a very uncomplicated person myself and so are my circumstances and my decisons. So the problems I had to face were mostly things I never had control on...monetary problems, joblessness and a brief heart break(for which I had nobody else but myself to blame...and I accept it with humility).

Disclaimer : I admit I am looking at just one side of the coin, probably the men or the MIL's on the other end have a different version of the story. I am just talking about the problems I have seen around at various phases of life.

During school, I have seen my friends sulk over the classmates/seniors/neighbors they had a crush on...which influenced by the then Bawllywood would magnify into love triangles, quadrangles or polygons. On one such occasion, I remember a friend who was crying her lungs out, since she was supposedly sacrificing her love for her best friend who seemed to have a crush on the same guy...all the while the guy in question was unaware of the feelings of both the ladies. Seems so childish to me now...that I was actually consoling and applauding her for her selflessness!!!
Yes, even I had a crush on several males, including a senior who was a ditto copy of Akshay Kumar...just a tad shorter and a few shades darker may be. My longest crush lasted almost a year on the most intelligent and sharpest guy in my class (intelligence has always appealed me). I remember I used to keep track of his tuition timings and I would stand and wait at the backgate of my house only to watch him pass the main road while going to the tuition classes. But I was always aware that I was never serious about any of these guys and would sooner or later find someone else whom I would find more interesting and the current ones would become history soon. So life was much simpler.

During the late teens, I found myself at the ladies hostel....
The set of problems had gone a tad level higher when the girls were more confident now than at school, and also had a good amount of male attention. This was the time when most of my friends got hooked and then was the time when there were typical teenage and relationship problems on how she expected more male attention that she was already getting, how the boyfriend was being insensitive, or how he wasn't giving enough/expensive gifts unlike the boyfriend of the roommate, on how he forgot her birthday or how they keep arguing on everything under the sun and more blah blah blah.
Me...!!! No boyfriend no problems. Only crushes which would bounce soon.
My problems were mostly monetary when I would have to borrow old books from library because I couldn't buy them, or had to do petty stuff like distributing pamphlets at malls to raise money (though I enjoyed them too) or spend long hours at the computer labs for my projects since we couldn't afford a PC at home. It pisses me off when youngsters with a high end laptop, bikes and mobiles complain about their misery because they don't have a levis jeans. Phew!!! I don't have one till date.

Soon I landed myself in Kolkata with my first job. Now the problems took a more serious angle...how the boyfriend couldn't get himself a job because of the backs he couldn't clear due to the time he wasted with her, how he has changed because he doesn't get her a rose everyday like he used to earlier (What the eff!!!), how her parents are against marrying him because he is from another caste/religion, how he isn't settled (read rich) enough to get married to while she is getting better proposals, how she believes her family culture is different to his and she believes she cannot adjust...
Well...this was the time I started going around with one my family friend, who was a US return, dollar earning, football playing chora. All was well until his mother intervened and wanted to get him married to a more sober village belle who would stay as a housewife, and like an obedient son he said 'Okay Mamma' and got married the girl he hardly knew, within a month after we broke up. My mistake, trusted the wrong guy who didn't have a vertebral column and got myself in a soup.

And then marriage happened and Db happened.
Now I have friends who have more serious problems that makes life miserable. How the MIL is a rude lady, how staying with in laws doesn't give any privacy, how the MIL's are controlling the husband like a remote control, how the husband is a 'Mamma's boy' who still can't let go of his mother's pallu, how the husband doesn't save a penny and spends all the residual money on his parents every month, how despite of having a love marriage love has flown out of the window, how coming from a nuclear family she feels all suffocated in a joint family, how balancing the personal and professional life is getting difficult but she can't quit her job because they need the money that comes from it.
As for me, yes marriage was a bit tough. Day one I woke up to responsibilities. I have always taken pride of the fact that I have never been dependent on anybody, nobody except my parents (and the DB's friend who helped Bhai when he was going through his worst crisis ever) can standup and say that I owe something to them and I would like it to remain the same till I live. But on the other hand, being the youngest in the family even I hadn't taken any responsibility myself. So phat gayee!!! But I believe it's not something I can't deal with or lemme put it another way, I think I can deal with anything that comes my way. **collars up**

But I have met another set of people who have no significant problems to talk about. They are from stinkingly rich families, have a great job, have married the man of their dreams, have accommodating in laws and leading a very easy and comfortable life. So having nothing better to do, they end up creating problems for themselves. How??? Buy a lavish house while you don't need one and start complaining how the monthly EMI's are a pain in the a** and how the in laws are so mean that they won't help pay up the money. Come'on now!!!

I remember something very valuable learnt in the simpler past. That everything is as simple as you please. Even the present.
Now, its for you to figure out what you please.

Back from Sasural

We finally came back from sasural yesterday afternoon.

With the kinda horrific stories I have coming accross from my friends, who seem to to be terribly troubled by MIL's and SIL's...I think I have a got a lot better deal than others in terms of in laws. But its human nature to keep asking for more...

I have basically had a city bred life in a nuclear family, while my in laws are a whole bunch of relatives, closely knit together who seem to have a say over anything and eveything. The lifestyle is far from being like in cities and while my Mum is at the extreme end of cleaniness, my MIL stands at the other extreme end. While inlaws are more into rituals and stuff like that, my family has been pretty much liberal with such things.
It works in certain ways...while my inlaws expect us to be present at most of the occasions where eleborate puja paath and family gettogethers are done, my parents appreciate us when we join them at the new year party at the club. So its easier to divide our stay at both the families...we end up attending the puja during Dussera, Diwali or Rath Yatra at inlaws place and celebrate the New Year and Christmas celebrations with my Dad and Mum.
So convinient!!! And no one is complaining...

And now that we are back...it feels there is no place like Bangalore and no home like the one that you yourself have set up...errr..let's say...messed up.

Among other updates, as I had expected, the release is still not done yet and whether I like it or not eventually I am gonna be a part of this release. Phew!!!

The management seems to have lost the painting that I had submitted for the painting competetion, and niether did I win any prize for the same. So all lose-lose here.

Before leaving for Sasural I could feel a cavity in my upper jaw, Db crosschecked and told me there were two cavities and when I checked with the Dentist yesterday she told me it was three.
So some good painful days coming soon in trying to fix the tooth decay.

To Bhai - On Raksha bandhan

Okay now...this is not the pic of me and Bhai (we are far more cuter....teheeehee), but the idea of putting anything else sounded too cheesy to me.
But the story comes from when we were as small and cute(may be more) as the ones in the pic. I was this innocent younger sister and you were the Kamina walla wada Bhai...you listening Bhai!!!

I would tie a Rakhi to your little wrist and you would hand me the 5 or 10 rupees that Dad gave you for the occasion, while Mom watched and smiled at her sweet duo. And as soon as she left, you would hit me hard and take the money back from me and also take 2 rupees extra as the interest for keeping the money for so long.

I am sorry my Rakhi hasn't reached you this season, I hope it reaches by today evening. But if it doesn't don't get mad at me...consider it to be my revenge for one of the above mentioned occasions. And also to get even with you each time you missed to protect me from Db, when he forcefully switched the TV off finally at 2 O' Clock in the night, or when he refused to buy me one more Tee after I had already bought 5, or when he shouted at me for not taking bath on weekends, or when I refused to take medicines or see a doctor even when I'd be terribly unwell.
I hate you both for that...from the core of my heart. **wink**

I know you have been through a lot this year and earlier too. But now that you are at your road to revival, I wish you get more happiness than you can handle from now on.

Besh Wishes on Raksha Bandhan
From you innocent little sister on her way to ultimate kameenapan.

And this is our pic...you'd agree were cuter. Don't go by his innocent looks...that was just for the camera.

The Groom Hunt V

Now THIS is the one which worked as the final nail in the coffin.

As I was given to believe, THIS alliance was kept on hold for almost 4 years...i.e. even when I hadn't finished my education. My parents kept avoiding them since they believed I was not ready for marraige, and when they did get interested, the guy was in the US.
I had already met his parents, younger brother, Mamaji, Mamiiji, Nanaji and Naniji. And now that he was back in India, our parents wanted us to meet. Despite of the fact that he was in Bangalore for a couple of days to meet his younger brother who worked here, he didn't come to see me. This was because his parents wanted us to meet in the presence of his family. Weird as it sounds, I had to agree since my parents were quite keen on this alliance.
I had a war of words with my manager to get my leaves approved, so as to make it to Rourkela to meet him.

And finally he came to meet me, again with his parents, younger brother, Mamaji, Mamiiji, Nanaji and Naniji. But the meeting was not half as weird as I had anticipated.

My Father was strictly against the idea of me wearing a saree and carrying a snacks tray to the guy's family. So I was in my room sitting on my computer playinh PCMan when S enterted to meet me accompanied by his Mamiiji (I wondered why they couldn't leave us alone, as if I would bite him). S was smiling and was quite pleasant, he asked me to finish my game, he was not in a hurry...I paused the game nevertheless.
But he was more pleasant than I had thought.
Suddenly all my anger for being called to Rourkela to just meet a guy whom I could have easily met in Bangalore, for which I even had to fight with my manager, was fast vanishing. Looked like it was worth it. I liked the interest he showed in my job and discussed about his own. He was joking on how people think he had a lot of savings since he frequently visits the US, but in reality he spent more abroad and had hardly anything to be remotely called as savings. We spoke about Mumbai, Bangalore, US, his job, mine, our weekend activities, java and business. Not a bit of arrogance, not a bit of ego...or so I thought.

I was impressed to say the least. But as they say, people have many faces.

We kept waiting for their reply for almost a week. And finally when my father called, S's Mum said that they were fine with the alliance but he wanted to meet a few more girls since it seems I was the first girl he had met. I thought that was fair enough though, but I believe his parents were kinda forcing him into it. But eventually they agreed and set up a date for the engagement. I kept waiting for S to call me or mail me but it didn't happen. I was told that his family had also started shopping for the engagement, buying me jwelleries and stuff. But I couldn't get married to him just like that. I had a break up a couple of months ago and I would want my would be husband to know about it, there were a a lot of things we need to discuss which would couldn't have in our first meeting and while his Mamiiji was around...but he never called.
I raised a concern to my parents, but my Father believed that its the sign of a no-nonsense kinda guy...what the hell !!! Nobodody spoke to me...not him, not his parents.

With more updates being fed to me about the arrangements being made for the engagement day, I was getting desperate with each passing day. Its like marrying a complete stranger...I couldn't do that. I asked my Mum to get his number from his parents...but she thought it would be outrageous. There was nothing that i could do.
Bhai came yo my rescue when he said that he hadn't met the guy to whom his sister is getting engaged to, so he wanted to speak to S over the phone. My Mum called up S's Mom to get his number, to which his Mum said that S is not willing to speak to us. It seems he had mentioned that he didn't wish to speak to anybody in my family before the wedding. Since my Mum insisted, she said she would check with her son and let us know.
I could now smell a terribly smelling fish...and so did my Mum.

When she gave the no. of S and a suitable time to call him (as if he were Shahrukh Khan), my Mum took it on her to call him before Bhai does. S spoke to my Mum in his usual pleasant way, but soon after they hung up, his Mum called up accusing us of tricking them to get S's no. and warned us never to call S again. My Mum was agast but decided to stay calm till my Dad returns home. When Dad got to know, he was furious. He immediately called off the engagement making it clear to their family that he doesn't wish to push his only daughter into a well.
They later came back to make amends but my Dad found it difficult to trust them again.

I had had enough by then and asked Mum to leave me alone for a while. Meeting another guy was the last I could ask for.

Hopelessness continues...

The Pizza delivery boy is at the door

Db : Please get the Pizza
Me : Ok
Db : And Pay him too.
Me : **Stares** Okay.

We finish the pizza.

Db: Feel like having an icecream
Me : So get it
Db : You get it na plzzz. Its just around the corner. Take the bike.
Me : Don't you think such requests are normally made by kids to their fathers or by a wife to her husband. Thoda ulta nahin hai!!!
Db : That's okay...but you are my smart, independent 20th century wife.
Me : But who wears the pants in the house???
Db : **Starting at my shorts** Your pants are shorter than mine.
Me : Whatever!!!
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Sipping a fresh lime soda outside Lifestyle in the Oasis mall, after buying 3 trousers in the SALE...

Me : **getting so romantic** Shopping to heart's content, having a refreshing lime soda in such an amazing weather and having you beside me. Aur kya chaiye life mein!!! (What else do you need in life)
Db : Salt...more salt
Me : What???
Db : I need more salt in my drink.
Me : @$@#%#%#%
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