Sizzling for a Sizzler

To start with


and more so if its a lousy weather and I haven't got much to do at office. I had to migrate the existing weblogic application to Tomcat which was no herculan job, I am finished and now I am bored out of my skull.

Today the hot topic of discussion is the cricket match that we played over the weekend and how we lost miserably ripping us off each shread of izzat that we had.

Anyways...I haven't got much to chew on today, so I am just blabbering off on my blog.

I want to have Sizzlers and only at Indijoe, but I dont have company. Normally, I don't wait for comapany...I'd just go and have my favoruite food at my favorite resturant...alone, if I have to. But the building on the old airport road, where Indijoe is placed is closed due to the recent fire in the carlton towers. The next centre is on church street and that's not the place I'd like to go alone. So I am desperate.
I was able to drag my friend J into it yesterday, but he was not keen to go as far as Church Street. He promised me the China Pearl in Kormangala serves Sizzlers and as good as Indijoe's. Reluctant, but I agreed...something is better than nothing, and also because he had a point. Going as far as 12 kms in the sun for a sizzler seems not worth it to a rational headed normal person (And we are poor people, we don't have a Honda City like one my rich Anonymous commentor..teheheee). But, to me it still felt worth all the effort...What!!! When did I tell you I was rational and normal!!!
Whatsoever, I was waiting at China Pearl exactly at 12.30 as planned. J reached 10 minutes late. Its rare to find a girl waiting for the guy to turn up. Anyway, while J was yet to come, I scanned the menu, to my horror there was no sizzlers.

Me : You don't serve sizzlers???
Waiter : No Maa'm.
Me : Is it like you don't serve sizzlers for lunch, or you don't have them at all? (Indijoe doesn't serve sizzlers for lunch on weekdays)
Waiter : No Maa'm...we don't serve them at all.
Me : Can I talk to somebody else?

Another waiter came to attend me.

Me : Are you sure you don't serve sizzlers???
The other waiter was giving me the Cloromint...dobara mat poochna look!!!
Waiter2 : No maa'm, we don't.
Me : Ok thanks. (J, you are in deep trouble !!!)

J arrived in a few minutes.

Me : Kaminey!!! They don't serve sizzlers here...grrrrrrr!!!
J : What??? (Snatching the menu from me) Impossible.
Calls the waiter.
J : You don't serve sizzlers???
Waiter2 : (Also giving the Cloromint look) No Sir.
J : Hey come'on. I have had it here several times. (Looking at me) Sacchi...
Me : *%@#$%$#&^
j : You had them earlier right! You must have taken it off the menu recently.
Waiter2 : No sir. We never had them on our menu.
J : Ok. (To me) I donno how its happening yaar...I have had the sizzlers here several times.
Me : Yes, in your dreams. I told you, I told you...grrrrrr again!!!
J : Sigh!!! Ok...(sigh again) lets go to MG road, Indijoe.
Me : No. I am not going anywhere and I am eating right here, because YOU spoilt my mood.
J : Arre!!!
Me : Yes...thats how it is. Now, you order and if the food is bad I am gonna kill you.
J was terrified of me for the next 1 hour or so that we spent at the resturant. He ordered the food very carefully and ate very less while serving me all the time.

As much as I was enjoying his plight all the while (I love to trouble him), my desire for sizzlers has increased by many folds.

Now what!!???

Bowled Over...

I hate it when people don't value my time, or for that matter any body's.You plan to meet me at ten in the morning and show up only by two in the afternoon...you make plans with me and back out at the last moment just because you feel like it...you plan to meet me for lunch and spend all day shopping around knowing very well that I can't stand the sport for any more than half an hour.

We had a cricket match today, among various project teams. Now, people promised and backed out at the last moment and most of them didn't even bother to inform that they won't grace us...so much so that we couldn't even form the team of 6 that was required. I don't mind people not joining the team, what irritates me is the fact that people commit and then don't turn up nor do they bother to inform before time...so least bothered of the inconvenience that we would face due to this.

Somehow, we managed to coax a few people outside our project to join us.

When we finally reached the ground, the opponent team looked pretty dangerous to us. They seemed all fit with flat tummies, tanned complexion and well dressed in proper jerseys which showed up the name of the team and the name of the player on their back. Looked like they were into some serious gully cricket.
The match started well...they won the toss and decided to bat. We gave only 20 runs in the first two overs and just 1 wide ball (I gave that **ducking behind the chair**). The third over saw more boundaries and by the fourth over they had made 51 runs.The last over was still to see the worst when we gave 4 sixes 2 fours and two wides (bowled by the jugadu player from the other project) which made the grand score to 85 while one of our key batsman got injured.
Soon it was our turn to bat, we started badly. I scored 6 runs before I left the pitch, all of them because the bowler served me wide balls (so no marks to me). While I was walking away from the pitch, I looked back to find another of our key batsman following me after getting out on the first ball. That made 2 wickets down in the first over.
We had just 3 more batsmen since one of them was injured. In the next two overs, we hit two boundaries and a few more wide balls, all summed up to 34 runs before all the batsmen were down

Apni toh balatkar ho gayi..now, thats some defeat.

And the end of it all, the jugadu player turns up to my manager and asks for a lift back home.
'Hey come'on, I played for you..and I played such that you don't have to play the next match...'

Yeah right !!! Thank you so much

Men will be men

On Sunday evening...

Me : I have something for you. Wait I'll mail it accross
Db : Kool. What is it, a picture?
Me : Nopes **wink**. Oh!!! its too huge, some 8 MB.
Db :That big!!! Some video is it?
Me : Nopes **wink**. Oh it hadly reduces the size by 500KB if I try to zip it.
Db : Arre tell me what it is.
Me : Okay I'll just send it across the way it is. It will take a while to upload the attachment.
Db : Okay

He recieves the powerpoint in 10 minutes. It has a few of our pictures starting from the day we met two years back till date. A little brief of our life together with some cheesy lines.

Me: You got it.
Db : yes
Me : I wanted to add some music to the file as well, but I couldn't figure out how to do it.
Db : Good you dind't.
Me : Kyun???
Db : That would have made the file heavier.

A brief minute of silence while he watches the powerpoint and I try to read his expressions on the web cam.

Db: Do you want to know how you could have compressed the file.
Me : ????
Db : What???
Me : You are so mean. You are so rude.I'll never make anything for you ever again.
Db : **smiling**
Me : What are you smiling at?
Db : nothing nothing
Me : Tell me **warning gestures**
Db : Nothing, just a comics that showed up in my (google) reader.
Me : You are so mean. You are so rude. You are.....

The Substitute

As kids, during such rainy evenings, Mum used to make hot pakoras with a cup of hot tea for us while we chilled ourselves at the balcony. The thought of it makes me nostalgic. Every single evening that it has rained here at Bangalore I have remembered my pakoras and tea. Tea is something that I still managed to get at office, but what about pakoras!!!

I have finally got my chance.

A cup of hot tea with Mc Chicken Nuggets on a rainy evening...NOT BAD!!!

The Groom Hunt Part III

The worst part of being a girl is you get easily emotional blackmailed into things. I wanted to take up the offer for a long term at London, but I was coaxed to get married ASAP. Every weekend I saw myself with one more of a kind across the table. So much so that I had almost learnt to sleepwalk through them.

Suitor : I saw your pic, I must say you are not photogenic at all.
Me : Thanks (I saw your pic too, must say you are way too photogenic) **animated smile**

What the hell am I doing here??? I could have been in London now earning convinient pounds and getting richer, or could have persued my MBA degree which I always wanted to do.
What is my future ahead...is one of these guys going to be my husband. If this is the quality of men that the Oriya Brahmin community produces (...there is something seriously wrong in our genes then), I'd rather turn into a nun.

Suitor : I must say you have a very interesting job profile. Great work. You even seem to earn as little more than me.
Me : Yeah, I switched my job recently so got a good hike.
Suitor : Great. Whether you work or not after the wedding...gimme sometime, I'll decide and tell you.
Me : (YOU decide on whether I work or not...KUTTE KAMINE HARAMKHOR @@%&!*!@#%)

Next.

Suitor : Are you ready for an arranged marraige?
Me : I guess yes (Why the hell do you think I am here then)
Suitor : You know, I feel no marraige can work without love. You need to fall in love first.
Me : So what are you doing in arranged marriage pool?
Suitor : Trying to find true love may be.
Me : (Yeah right!!!)
Suitor : You look absolutely my kind yaar. Lets try to fall in love.
Me : (Haila !!!!!!!!!!!!!) And how do you propose we do that? More so when I meet a new guy almost every weekend.
Suitor : I propose you stop that right away and lets see if we can fall in love. You know, we go out, buy gifts for each other, fall in love and then get married.
Me : (and not sing songs in chiffon sarees!!!???...Mummyyyyyyy)
I wanted to shake him...what are you??? straight out of some Yash Chopra movie????)

You meet all kinds of people here.
One thing I was hoping I would learn from all this was patience, and how to take nonsense from people and not get up to pull their noses to howling points.

Argh!!!! My Mom...

Conversation between Mum and me on the phone

Me: Mum, how do you make ridge gourd with poppy seeds (She is good at it, and this is my first time)
Mum: Okay. You got the ridge gourd?
Me : Yes Mum
Mum : And the poppy seeds.
Me : Yes got that too.
Mum : Remember to peel off the ridge gourd
Me : Yes Mum. Recipe recipe (repeating the words creates the impact...at least thats what I believed...silly me!!!)
Mum : Haan Haan. Did you taste the ridge gourd...are they bitter.
Me: Did that Maaaaaaaaa. They are fine.
Mum : Acha add a little more potatoes, since the gourd tends to shrink.
Me : Okay forget it. I'll look it up on the net.
Mum : No No wait. Okay...cut the onions, not too big in size,not too small either. Cut the onion from between, and each piece make three longitudinal cuts and two horizontal cuts. Got it!!! Or shall I repeat.
Me : Maaa. I know how to cut onions, I have been cooking for two years now for God's sake.
Mum : **Random BrouHaHa**

The outcome of this conversation : Bheja Fry.

Moral of the story : If you want to try a new recipe, move you God damned butt, switch on the router, switch on your laptop...and type www.google.com on your browser.

They are back

I am high on Cafferine today, because I am low on sleep.
I cant remember the last time I slept like a log...well I do actually. That was sometime last week. Because this week the bed bugs are back.
And when I call the pest control guys to complain that the bugs are back in 2 weeks after I took their service, they suddenly don't understand any language I speak.

So, today is my official cussing day.

I am gonna recommend this to the cops,CBI or whoever, to use this as a 3rd degree torture for criminals on remand. Let them stay in a room infected with bed bugs. i am sure its gonna work wonders.
Also, last week, I got this new Tee from lifestyle. As such I hardly find anything that fits me these days. Its like I go to a showroom, take a couple of things to the trial room and I go 'Oh it fits...bill it!!!'. And you wait all week for the friday to come and you wear this new Tee to office for the first time and you realize that it has a little hole at a very prominent place, and worse you don't know if it was defective when you bought it or its the bed bugs at home who have been sharpening their teeth on it during the day to come and bite you in the night...I feel like screaming.

I feel like hitting somebody. No, that's not abnormal...I do feel like it once in a while. i used to hit Bhai when I was at home, now I hit Db (sorry, if my SIL is reading this), and he happily obliges too, but he is not around.
So where do I vent my anger out???

I know where...I am gonna catch a few bugs at home today, put them into a little bottle and put them in the freezer and decrease the temperature of the freezer to the minimum and leave them there for the weekend.

The Groom Hunt Part II

Okay so lemme continue from my previous post...

This is the first ever guy that I met for marriage…and coincidently he worked in the same office building with me in the same company, Cognizant in Kolkata. The only difference was I was hardly a year old in the IT industry and he was a Senior Manager on the 6th floor of my building.
His father had called me up once to find my floor and project as well as cubicle no. so that he could fix our meeting. But to my horror, the second time he called he told me that his son actually came to my floor and saw me, and left…and he was kind enough to have liked me they wanted to take it forward. ‘So I don’t get to see him is it???’I asked. To which he said that his son keeps really busy to have time to meet me that’s why he chose to come to my floor and just have a look at me and leave...but don’t worry we’ll send a picture to you.

‘You got to be kidding me!!!’…I yelled at my Mom. ‘I don’t get to see this guy and the guy choose me by just taking a trip around my cubicle…on what basis??? This is not happening!!!’
And so he called the next week.
Suitor : So when do you wanna meet?
Me : You tell me
Suitor : Look I really don't have time for this, I keep really very busy all day. I will call you when I am free you could meet me in the cafeteria for a few minutes.
Me : Sure (I am assumed to to free, since I only hatch eggs in my cubicle all day)
So, finally he calls at 6.30 to fix the meeting at 7 in the evening.

I reached 5 minutes early and he arrived 15 minutes late. As I saw him enter, I had my doubts if he actually is a Senior Manager. He was my height 5.4", half my size...too thin, and looked like a college drop out. I made a mental note to go back and check on the Outlook if he actually is a Senior Manager, which later I found he indeed was.
Suitor : Hi...I have a meeting in 10 minutes, a discussion the appraisals for the team. I excused myself saying that I have a cousin waiting for me at the reception. So you see we have just 10 minutes.
Me : Oh Okay. Lets keep this for another day in that case.
Suitor : No No. Lets just get this over with...its always equally busy day for me.
Me : (okay get me over with...compliments me too well. You got to show you are busy to prove your seniority, particularly to your would be...err...might be wife)
Suitor : You know this meeting was not important. My parents like you, that’s all that matters. But I believe you insisted to meet me...so what do you want to know?
Me : (I want to know which way is the exit) That’s okay. I guess its time for your meeting. We’ll talk sometime when you are free enough. Thanks for your time.

And I called my Mom right then telling her I would rather jump into a well than marrying this moron.


Now this one is special, since this is the first one I met in Bangalore and the first one I met soon after my breakup. We would kinda observe his orkut account regularly and used to address him as 'Tusky' among our group. I hadn't got a chance to speak to him, but I spoke to a lady over the phone a couple of times who claimed to be his cousin sister. She had fixed our meeting on the next weekend at Pizza Hut in the forum mall.
As I entered Pizza Hut, I couldn't find a table with just one guy or one with a guy and a lady, I could only find groups sitting around. And suddenly a lady, who seemed to be in her late twenties approached me and introduced herself as his cousin who had been calling me all this while. She led me to a table, where to my horror, I could see six people including her. Of the five men seated there, I couldn't recognize who was 'Tusky', I guess the photo he had on Orkut was a quite old one.
I was introduced to them, turned out that the lady I had been speaking to was not 'Tusky's' cousin, she was his classmate from college. Of the five men one of them was her husband, 2 were 'Tusky's' college friends, one was his roommate and the last one was 'Tusky' himself. I was hoping they would leave soon, since this crowd was making me uncomfortable, but they all stayed on till the length of the meeting. I was alone on my Morcha, while the other side were a battalion of people and just the thought of being judged by so many people who had no business being here was bothering me. They started shooting questions at me, I was getting a faint impression that they had actually come prepared for the meeting, since each one of them had average 15-20 questions to ask me spanning from my carrer to my culinary skills and my family to my pets.
I contemplated to excuse myself and flee, but the Pizza arrived just then and I wondered what harm would it be if I stayed a few more minutes and finished my share. 'Tusky', I must say was very energy efficient, he didn't speak a single word through out the meeting and used all his conserved energy only to tear the pizza to his mouth. All through the meeting he was just smiling, having pizza and yes he did pay the bill.

While decided to leave when 'Tusky' joined me till the forum main door. This is the first time he spoke in one hour,
Tusky : Well...it was nice meeting you. But I will like to meet you again...sometime next week???
Me : Ahem!!! I work most of the weekends.
Tusky : Really!!! Whenever you are free, you could gimme a call, we can meet. Would you like to keep my number?
Me : Err..okay
He gave me his number, I saved it on my mobile.
Tusky : Can I drop you home?
Me : No, I'll be fine...thanks. (That was sweet)

As we said good bye and I turned my back to him, I opened the contact on my phone. I had saved it with his fully qualified name this time and not just 'Tusky'.
I read his name to myself, low self confidence, insensible guy...who didn't think that bringing 5 of his friends on the first meeting when the girl is coming alone is not just unnecessary and ill-mannered but outright rude too.
I pressed the delete option on the contact.
'Delete Contact?' Yes/No.
I looked back, I saw him walk back towards the Pizza Hut. He had a moustache too. 
eeks!!!!...I pressed 'Yes'.
'Contact Deleted'

The Groom Hunt Part I

They say empty mind is devil's workshop. My mind has turned into a workshop, though I guess not that of a devil.
I reach home by 6 in the evening, I have the entire evening to myself. I have so much running on my mind...i feel like painting but I don't, I feel like blogging and I do it sometimes, I feel like watching a movie and I do sometimes too. But something I always wanted to write about.

I wanted to write about experience while groom hunting, for me as well as my friends...which started with being funny, to tedious and finally humiliating. Lets call them all Suitors.
Lets start with the initial ones which were amusing.

Though not the fist guy that I met, but certainly one of the most memorable one. This one had a an Engg and MBA degree and had come down from the US to meet not just me, many girls. We met at Baskin Robbins in Kormangala.

Suitor : So what would you like to have?
Me : Something in chocolate flavour.
Suitor : Have you tried Banana Split?
Me : No. But I don't like banana and mango flavour.
Suitor : But you should tried the banana flavour here...its amazing.
Me : I hate the flavour itself
Suitor : Just try it once.
Me : No I am gonna waste it I know. I'll like to have chocolate flavour.
Suitor : Okay
And he returns with two banana splits
Suitor : (Looks super excited) Try it!!!
Some part of me wanted to get up to smash the banana icecream on his long nose. How pushy!!!
Me : (With a forced smile, I just a minuscule of it) Its terrible.
Suitor : (Surprised like he just saw pigs fly) Oh!!! You didn't like it!
Me : No (Nor did I like you) **animated smile**


The next one was in late twenties, also working in the US who came down to meet me at Bangalore. He had called me once from US and I was pretty much okay with him, except that he was good 7 years elder to me. We met at the Coffee Day in Kormangala.
After some casual conversation...

Me : So what are your expectations from your wife?
Suitor : My Mom and my sister are a little to the rude side. They kinda speak their mind however rude it is. I don't expect my wife to be the same.
Me : Oh! (Thanks for telling me what I was getting into). You are quite settled, why do you choose to marry so late? .
Suitor : I am not a virgin some women have a problem with that.
Me : (????? Ouch!!! appreciate your honesty...but too direct for a first meeting)
Suitor : Are you like...you know!!!
Me : What!!!
Suitor : You know
Me : Err....does that matter???
Suitor : No I guess
Me : ( Bhago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

I guess the guy wasn't interested in me and was trying too hard too shoo me off.
Well...more coming up in the blogs to come...I have all the time on earth now.

Office Humour

A perfect (mis)fit

I feel I am stuck at the worst period and worst stage of my life.

Physically I feel my state is the most difficult one. I am neither thin, nor to fat…rather let’s just say I have put on some (good amount of) weight. So I am probably travelling in the middle of the bridge to motiness. I f I was on the thin side of the bridge then I would have been the happiest person, if I would have been on the other side of the bridge i.e. already too moti, I would have accepted it and taken it in my stride. But I am somewhere midway, that makes me a self conscious someone, who is trying (to try) too hard to lose weight. I wish to reach at least some side of the bridge someday, hopefully the thin side.

On the second note, I also find difficult to fit into any age group. The unmarried singletons probably find me an Aunty, while I don’t find their jokes funny anymore. Most of them seem silly, immature and outrageous to me. I find it difficult to join a group which likes to sit at a coffee shop during wee hours in the night while chatting endlessly to nothing.

While with the seniors I stand out like a sore thumb. They find me silly, immature and outrageous.
I don’t think I would ever be able to talk or behave like one of them, I am just not wired like that. When I got married, I had told my SIL that if she treats me like a friend we can have a healthy relationship, the day she starts behaving like a SIL, it will make me uncomfortable and the relationship will become more pretentious. Over these years everybody on my in-laws side accepted me like this, may be they were just happy that ‘okay…at least she is not pretending’.

So now where do I fit, that makes life difficult for me. The worst worst phase of my life...really!!!
Ok...now. Looks like the temporary singlehood life is taking its toll on me.