The reality...

During the project meeting :

Manager : Any planned leaves before Jan 13th.
Me : No...nothing planned yet.
Manager : You must have some plans...
Me : No.
Manager : 31st night party maybe...
Me : Thats a weekend.
Manager : Oh okay. Still you must be having some plans. I am assuming two days off for you. So that makes it 15 working days for you.

I come out of the meeting room thinking if I really look like a party animal. The manager didn't allocate leaves for anybody else.

THE REALITY :

Me : Everybody is goin out on Chrismas-New Year week. Why aren't we going anywhere!!
Db : Hmm. Lets plan something.
Starts searching for holidays in makemytrip.com...
Me : How much will that cost?
Db : 30...at least that is.
Me : And where are we with the saving for the new car and the house interiors?
Db : We have hardly got anything.
Me : Lets open that excel sheet and see where we stand with our savings.

After half an hour...
Me : What we can do is call some friends over on the 31st, order some good food and get some drinks. We can play monopoly through the night. Sasta, Sundar and Mazboot...what say!!!

Db nods sleepishly...

Moral of the story : People are not necessarily what they look like.

Happy Diwali !!!

Saree tales...

It all started when we decided to attend the wedding of one of Db's friend. I think it will be odd to turn up in a salwaar kameez when everybody else would be draped in sarees. Hence has started my saree hunt. Much to the why-do-you-need-to-do-this attitude from Db and to the twinkling eyes of the MIL who believes I do not wear saree enough .

During my numerous visits to my sasural, I have been a lot of times asked to start wearing saree to office once in a while...on the pretext that I should know how to drape sarees and pratice how to carry them all day.

My question is WHY? What's so great about wearing a saree and how does it take anything from anybody who dosen't wear them?
Yes I do like to wear them at times, may be just for a change, yet I do not like it when it comes as an compulsion to me...when I am judged on whether I wear them or not.
I always believed that sarees are so overrated.
I mean salwaar kameezes are supposed to hide more skin than sarees, to some extend wearing a jeans and kurta would also show lesser skin. Yet there is a certain notion that the elder generation has, that we ought to wear sarees to occasions.
The logic that Indian women are supposed to look their best in saree doesn't go down well with me.

I think these things were invented only to add more trouble to the women folk. While saree shows more skin and to add to it is so difficult to carry, yet people insisted women to wear them since they just wanted them to put more effort. Or may be the women in the older generation had nothing else to do in life, so they used to drape sarres and carry them all day just for timepass.
The logic is similar why we women are expected to wear sindoor, mangalsutra, toe rings and bangles to show that we are married, while men have nothing of that sort. How biased is that???

Yet these are things that have been carried since generations, and are difficult to challenge and change.

Getting Ready...

Two women in my team are pregnant, so that makes me the only woman in the team who is married and dosen't have babies.
So it was obvious that I would become the soft target of the rest of the women folk around, trying to advice me to start a family before its too late.
Whatever!!!

But this certainly is something I cannot postpone forever. I know Db is still young to be a father, but I am probably very quickly surpassing my age to be a mother(One of the big problems when you marry someone just your age).

But it scares me...

I had kidney stones, and they then said if you have gone through this pain, child birth will be a breeze. I am sure they are kidding me...labour pains can make kidney stones feel like mosquito bites in comparison, I believe.

I have high BP and also breathing problems. So don't think medically its gonna be a cake walk for me either.

And again, I don't see myself being the kind of woman who can't think beyond her baby, I would still have my life, I would still like to give my importance to my carrer, would still think beyond just the well being of the kid.

Basically...not the best mother a child could ask for.

So I do not think I am ready yet, but then are we ever ready for anything at all in life!!!

Tanhayee...

I haven't been too regular offlate...have I!!!
Don't blame me, for I have too many to pass on the blame to.

Not that I am working my ass off, yet I haven't been able to visit my blog very often...Please do not ask me why, don't get me started on that!!!

Well...Db is travelling tomorrow for his away day to Goa. Since its a pleasure tour provided by his employer, spouses are not invited (But of course!!! How can you have pleasure when your spouse is around). Somebody at my office suggested I join him on my expense but I guess the best of the boys also need a break from their wifes once in a while...so be it. Jaa je le apni zindagi...

So its gonna be 'main aur meri tanhayee' for a couple of days.
Not that I mind, I am gonna enjoy my late night movies, my solitude shopping, waking up in the afternoon and lying on the bed all day like a sunbathing crocodile.

Is divorce the easy way out???

During hostel days, the sunday matrimonial were a great way to have a good time. Most importantly the ads of people wishing to marry the second time or nth time, we used to read and discuss them and laugh about the fact that you find all kinds of people in this world. You do not then understand the pain that those people have gone through...not unless it happens to someone you love so much.

Its difficult and draining when someone in your family is going through marital problems, and there is one in my family who is going through the said problem. Now I understand when people in their second marraige ad would say 'issueless divocee'...now do I understand what you mean by it and may be I should have never laughed over them.

But is divorce the easy option???
I donno.
This generation and most importatly the women in this generation are a group of screwed up maniacs. These are people who probably run after an oasis while losing out on the real pleasures of life. Agreed...for different people, happiness means different things. But what is the happiness worth if you are carrying the curse and tears of so many people including people who brought you into this world. The woman here in question, in her quest of happiness is at the verge of losing everything, her husband, in laws and her own parents too. What kinda happiness does that bring, one which you'd probably celebrate alone without a shoulder from your own family, the so called happiness that you get after ruining the life of another unsuspecting man who had nothing to do with you or your moronic ideologies. Why is this woman being so selfish???

I mean, which couple doesn't have differences, what kinda couple gets along all the time!!! But you have to give it your best shot, you have to have an intention of keeping up and nourishing a relationship and not just walk out at the drop of a hat.
I believe we live to add value...I being alive give happiness to my parents, my husband is happy to have me, my in-laws are hopefully okay with a bahu like me, I have a good going carrer and people happily support me because I am one of the reason for peace and happiness to them...if I am not there tomorrow all these people would miss my presence. But having brought her to this world what did she add, her parents are embarrased to have a daughter like that, she ruined the peace and harmony of my happy family, if she dies tomorrow, to whom will that matter. I for one would sigh peace.

I strongly believe she got a very good family and a great husband, so much so that her own parents to a good extend are supporting us and not her. Unfortunate are the people who do not get good relationships in life, but more more unfortunate are those people who get the right people but they lose them because they take them for granted.

I do not care if she regrets this tomorrow, nor do I care what she does with her life to the extend that I do not care if she lives or dies tomorrow (rather I wish she fails in every walk of her life)...because we have had enough of her already.
I am only concerned about him. Is it easy to nurse the wound given by a two year long bad marraige??? Is the divorce thing easy for men!!!...considering that women have more legal rights than men, and also I am not sure to what extend this woman can stoop down to. Will he ever be able to trust another woman??? For him, being a man all of 29 years, is it easy to remarry and settle down again???

I am trying to try to be on diet...

The Silence..

It was during my time in Kolkata when I got addicted to the telivision. I used to stay alone then. While I was working as a trainee in CTS during the day, I was a loner during the evenings and the weekends. I had no roomates and most of my friends were available only on phone. The silence was too much to bear, so I had the telivision running all the time, could be news, music or movies, but it just made some noise and I'd not feel the silence anymore.

Db is not very fond of the TV, in fact it quite irritates him...while I am so used to the TV running all the time. And this is just one of the numerous ways that we are so different from each other.
And last night was one of those rare days that Db had won over me and the TV was off for the whole of the evening. It was quite cold and we had switched off the fans too.

And there was silence.
Somehow the kids in the building were so silent tonight, surprisingly the lift was unused too, no sound of the back gear of cars, no sounds of the ladies fighting in the little slum behind our building. One could hear the grasshoppers crying. Occasionally one of us would speak and we felt the echo in the house. There was a occasional sound made by Db's laptop's keyboard or the aquaguard...and I never kew these sounds could be as loud as it felt tonight. There were just sounds made by the both of us. Seemed like the world has come to an end and we were the only two survivors.

After a long time since I left Kolkata, I felt that killing silence yet again.

So how I feel is...

So how does it feel in a new office...
A curious question...isn't it !!! Well I'd just say its different. The people are different, culture is different...yet which doesn't necessarily mean its pleasant.

I was skeptical before I joined, reason...when things just go as planned and smooth, you know something is wrong. There was always at the back of my mind that since my professional life was going uphill since quite sometime, I might have some problems popping up soon. May be I'd land up in a wrong job, may be I'd be fired in a month...I donno.

But luckily the problems that I face now are nothing closer to what I had anticipated.

The organization as a whole is good. The project is again a banking project and the technology I'd say is satisfactory. But...I joined here for some benifits, which I did not get.

I joined for the work-from-home benifit which is not given to me, since its a banking project. The project is obsessed with security and hence the internet facility is terribly restricted. All my team mates are Telgu. So we have almost no connection to the outer world and I also have almost no connection to my teammates because they speak only vernacular language. Not that I mind, I had anyway decided before I joined that I did not wish to make friends in my team unlike how it was for my previous projects. Making friends in the team backfires many-a-times, and I had made an conscious decision of refraining from the same. So it works...

But despite of the fact that I was terribly frustrated the first week, despite of the fact that I cannot access my blog at office now on, while the rest of the office outside my project continues to enjoy unlimited internet access, despite of the fact that I am now almost totally disconnected from the world outside during office hours...yet there is just one thing that nullifies all of the above...

I start from home at 9 and reach home by 6.30...Howzzat!!!

Do I sound funny...

Life is like a black man's left ass .
...its not fair and its not right.

Shayarana Andaaz...

Watched 'Zindagi na Milegi Dobara' today.Didn't feel it was any great creation...okay dokay I''d say, yet one should give credit where due.
The locations of Spain were breathtaking while some scenes were genuinely funny and some brutally witty one liners. The movie reminds me of 'Dil Chahta Hai' and 'Hangover' both of which I liked better than this one.
Somehow I just cant digest men who are almost forty giggling like school boys. ZNMD had men who were more caricatures...men who are ubber rich, ubber kool and each of them carries some emotional baggage which were extremely cliched and boring. They can afford a fortnight holiday in Spain, rent the dream villas, buy bags worth 12000 euros...and more shit. They seem far from real.
Jealous I am of their wealth...you might say. May be I am, and yet I reserve the right to not like a movie for the above mentioned reasons.

And what were actors like Nasseruddin Shah and Deepti Naval doing in their teeny-weeny roles. What did they charge for that little much presence in the film...two way taxi fare!!!
And the most surprising part...for the first time I liked Katrina Kaif, Dhan Tan Nan!!! I am surprised at myself too.

Well..there were a few amazing shayaris in the movie written by Javed Akhtar. I am not a great poetry lover...yet the poems in the movie did catch a nerve. Here is one of them :

जब जब दर्द का बादल छाया

जब ग़म का साया लहराया

जब जब आंसूं पलकों तक आया

जब यह तनहा दिल घबराया

हमने दिल को यह समझाया

आखिर दिल तू क्यूँ रोता है

दुनिया मैं यूँ ही होता है

यह जो गहरे सन्नाटे हैं

वक़्त ने सबको ही बाटें हैं

थोडा ग़म है सबका किस्सा

थोड़ी धुप है सबका हिस्सा

आँख तेरी बेकार ही नम है

हर पल एक नया मौसम है

क्यूँ तू ऐसे पल खोता है

आखिर दिल तू क्यूँ रोता है

Moving on...

Today is when I breathe my last on SG-Land, and then I move on...

Not that switching jobs is something new to me, but this time its different. This time I am more anxious, more nervous. May be its something do with my years of experience. I think i am at a more vunerable situation now when one wrong decision can screw up my carrier for a long time to come. So the fear of the unknown is more...way more this time.

I would be jobless, unemployed for the next three days...a normal housewife with no paycheque and no insurance. So I intend to watch a lot of movies, go for shopping...basically drain out my husband's bank balance. Isn't that what housewife's are supposed to do!!!


Shopping reminds me.
I had done this little online shopping on a chinese website, and despite of the fact that I ordered the largest size that they had it would still not fit me. Lets not forget that chinese sizes are obviously samller than that of Indians. Determined to fit into it some day, I have finally achieved my goal. Though I am not sure if I lost weight or the dress expanded due to numerous trials.

What do you think???
I think I look pretty darn good.

Back to work...err...No Work

I am finally back to Bangalore after 10 days...

Not that I would consider in-laws visiting as my ideal holiday idea, yet one has to agree that Db was born at a picninc spot. His hometown is so picturesque, full of mountains and rivers and waterfalls and leeches too.
But sadly I am not the daughter of the place, I am the daughter in law. And its a priviledge that I have been excused from wearing saree all the time unlike all the other bahus do...they wear a saree with a ghungat.

If I would have been born in the same place I would have probably jumped in to the waters, play till I get pnemonia, get cured, crawled back to it, play till I got pnemonia again, cure myself again and crawled back to the waterfall yet again. And with the mountains, I would have probably gone on a montain climbing/trekking spree till I would have managed to unfurl a flag with my name on every single mountain a pair of eyes could reach...which would easily be a couple of hundreds.

But sadly its not my Mayka. That's my sasural, and this thought itself is scandalizing. Sulk!!!

Nevertheless, the good part is Db finally managed to click some descent pictures of me. Oh haven't I told you...in my previous birth I had happened to break a very expensive and rare Pinhole camera, because of which all cameras in the world conspired to hold grudge against me and never ever give me a decent click. Even my matrimony pics clicked by a professional photographer, and for which I paid a fortune made me look like a baby elephant. And for the similar reason I have shoved away my wedding album to a place where where even cockroaches can't find it.
So I consider it as a great achievement that after three years and more, Db was finally able to click some pics which we both with mutual consent considered as descent. Applaud!!!

Now that I am back, and its my last week in this office...I have nothing to do here that can be remotely considered as work. So sitting all wella after a long time or as my dear collegues would like to put it as...this is my honemoon period.

So honeymooning I am...

Another story...another mishap.

It happens yet again to another man, who unwilling became the victim to the women of this generation who cannot handle her independence.

I wonder what is wrong with this generataion of women!!! Why is it so difficult to keep priorities clear, and who gives them the right to screw somebody else's life with their own. If there was somebody else who you wished to marry, but could not beacuse of any God-Damned reason, why can you not try and begin a new life with the man you finally decided to marry instead. What makes them think it is a fair decision to hang on to both, the ex-flame and the now husband...and screw all the three lifes.

Probably the idea of happiness is different for different people....yet I don't see any reasoning of a sane mind here. I feel like shaking these women and ask...What? Why? What do you want?? What were you thinking???

It did happen with my family too, and I know how devasted everyone is. Not just the man in question, his entire family goes through a lot of pain while the woman's family has to go through a sad phase of embarassment. Eventually it leads nowhere, nobody is happy. Independence for women...at the cost of what??? Is it worth it???

No, I am not against women being independent...like many people are.
Some even say that probably our ancestors were aware that women do not have the capability to handle freedom and that's precisely the reason they were dominated and kept in purdah. Now that they have broken the chain of opression enforced on them since so many years, it has been proved that women cannot handle it.

While I do agree to some extend that most women are not able to use the newly found independence responsibly, yet I also believe that the problem here is much more than just that .
Women do have evolved, yet we do have an older generation and a hypocrite societe to please. If the woman in question would have gone ahead and married the man she pleased with no opposition from her family or the socite, then I wouldn't have been here writing how she has been the cause of worry, embarassment and destruction for everybody.

Till today most of the parents do impose restrictions on the girl child, the societe continues its hipocracy towards a woman.
If a man goes around with many women, he is a stud....but when a woman does the same she is labelled...
It shockes me to find that a lot of the educated mass considers it to be a pride to have recieved huge dowries...also these people do not celebrate a girl child. If a man wants to marry a woman who is of a different caste/religion, its easier for his parents to give in while its almost an impossible task for a woman to convince her parents.
Such women, when suddenly get their independence, they obviously misuse it.

I believe since this generation has witnessed women proving themselves time and again to be as competent as men, anything that is considered a taboo for a woman has to be a taboo for a man too, while anything which is acceptable for a man has to be acceptable for us, despite being women.

Probably when the older generation would also consider us at par with the men, and would be fair to us...the women would not misuse their freedom.

The bygone weekend...

Note : This post is gonna be very long and self-indulgent. Read it only if you have nothing better to do.
Now that you are going ahead with reading the post, you have agreed that you are sitting as wella like me. Join the club.

An interview to remember...

I had this interview in the EGL campus in Domlur around 1pm on Saturday. I was pretty interested in the company because I had heard they pay well and also they are very close to my place. May be that's the reason that stopped be from walking out even though they made me wait for almost 2 hours, a practice I normally follow if the waiting time exceeds 45 ins.
Whatsoever, I was called in for the interview. The interviewer was quite a good looking man, may be in his early thirties...My java questions went very well, better than I had expected. But,when he wanted to know my experience in webservices, I had only a couple of months on my resume. Yet with what little I remembered, I was able to answer a few high level questions. But they wanted somebody in a lead role, hence my experience in webservices would not suffice.The interviewer couldn't be sorry enough, he said sorry to me almost 5 times...since he thought my java experience was quite good but I would be an outright reject if he passed me to the next technical panel, who apparently would judge me only on my webservice experience.

He called out my name as I opened the door to leave...
'I am gonna remember your name...unique one'
'Yes' I said. 'There is only one'
'Not even on orkut or facebook???'
'None' I said.
'I am gonna find out...' He smiled.
'Okay'(!!!???)
'And yes I am sorry again...you were good'
'Please don't be...you are just doing your job' I smiled and left.

Where the hell were these people while I was single...shit !!!

The high Maintainance wife...

It was not planned. We wanted to buy a good saree for the MIL during our visit this July. We cheked at a few shops and we found the rates were ridiculously high. This Saturday, while a soon would-be-married friends were planning to go for their wedding shopping to Chikpet, we decided to join in.

Not being the kind who is so selfless to travel to another corner of Bangalore just to buy a saree for the MIL, I obvioulsy had other plans for myself...but not as evil as it eventually turned out to be.One of these shops had a dres material hung on display...I queried the price and he said it was for four hundred."Okay...I am interested...!!!"I went in to dig out similar cheap offerings that they might have, but after almost an hour I exited the shop with shopping bags worth 2000 rupees only.Also to be noted that I am to pay 1100 rupees to the tailor who is stiching those dresses for me.

BTW...I bought a nice and expensive saree for the MIL too.

Adieu Cockroaches...Plz don't come back

We went on a house cleansing mission this Sunday. The cockroaches have been a pain in the a** for quite long. So, finally we went a killing spree, our wepons being a red Hit spray and a broom to kill the cockroaches who managed to escape from the spray.
After a struggle that lasted more than an our we had the blood of almost a hundred cockroaches on our hands.
But the final result is good, my kitchen is devoid of cockroaches and that gives me a lot of peace.

Taking the Healthy options...

Since the kitchen smelled of the cockroach spray, cooking was a bad option. But the last thing that we wanted was to order food since we together weight a ton already, and putting on any more weight will result in long unending bills to the doctors.
Well...it was time then to try on firang food items like salad.I made something called a portuguese salad, inspired by the one I had in Nandos the previous day. It turned out quite tasty and filling...so much so that I made some more of it and carried to office for breakfast.

I plan to experiment more on the various kinds of salads that can be tasty and healthy at the same time. Hopefully we'd both lose some weight then.

What did you do to get your first Android....

I was born this date 28 years ago, and managed to con a gadget freak man to marraige...

Happy birthday to me...

Let go...

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.

Donno who wrote this, but what an absolutely delightful thought.

Life is too short to be anything...but happy.
Probably, some of us think holding on makes us strong...but sometimes it is letting go that makes life a lot easier.

Like Db asked me last night...you must be hating them. It actually did trigger a thought process, do I really hate them!!! HATE is a very strong word, I don't think I hate anybody at all. Rather I have learned to accept people the way they are, because accepting does makes it a hell lot easier for me. A little pretention, a fake smile and a whatever-attitute to when people try to provoke you...a perfect recipe to avoid trouble.

And how some people never cease to irk me...
I donno if counting your miseries is fashionable these days, or self-pity is the 'in' thing (I am pretty alien to fashion anyway)...but why can't people find strength within while they are so-capable of it.

Let go...
I know you are not as helpless as you potray yourself, or probably you are just not aware of it...
Self pity is the worse feeling one could have, more so when you aren't all that pitiful...
Holding grudges doesn't help you, it will only make matters worse...
When you let go of what you are, you become what you might be...
Lastly, You worry me because you are very naive...and worse,you don't know that you are...

As Eli Wallach explained it to Kate Winslet, In movies we have a leading lady and a best friend...you my dear are the leading lady but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Applicable to both of us, me thinks. But now its time we start being the leading lady of our own lifes.

Itni khushi...

One of the best compliments in the best possible way found me last evening.

I was waiting at the reception of Db's office sitting beside a guy who seemed to have come for an interview. I took up a newspaper to read some bollywood gossip to kill time. This guy called me to ask...

'Fresher???'
Me : sorry...
Interview right !
Me : No...waiting for someone.

Nevertheless I was mentally doing a victory dance for being called a fresher.

Kya karen !!! Meri twacha se meri umr ka pata hi nahin chalta...

Who do you blame for your misery???

Actually, thats quite a shortcut, blaming somebody else for our plight. We spend more time trying to find somebody to blame things on, than trying to find a solution to the problem.
But does that help...wouldn't it help to look within???

I have been blaming too many people in my team for being unprofessional, due to few such people the work pressure has been ever increasing. But the fact is I haven't been working too hard to find a solution to it either. Neither did I give it all to change the attitude of the people around, nor did I try to find a way to escape all of it by finding myself a new job. So, who do I have to blame...nobody but myself.
Introspect always helps...it drives you to find solutions.
But somehow I find this to be a rare practice among others. While I always tend to blame myself for most of my problems, most of the time I come across people who always try to find others to blame.

So how does it feel when somebody holds you responsible for his/her misery...
Fortunately or unfortunately, I wouldn't know...I somehow find no pleasure by being rude, or giving tension to others. So most of the time, I'd take pain myself, just because I don't want to pass it to others. But you know...I have been enough such phases in life where I realized that going out of your way to help others actually doesn't help. Someday, it has to come to an end...and when it does, all the good that you did is conveniently forgotten and people paint you grey and carry back only the bitterness just because you finally decided to prioritize yourself over others.

Whats the point in trying to make me feel guilty...
I would never abandon anybody while they are vulnerable, I would be the first one to offer you my hand during times of misery. Haven't I done that before !!! Now that I have decided to pull my hand back, that's because I am sure you can swim on your own...and also because you must learn to swim on your own to become a skilful swimmer.

Difficult to please

Db : (puppy faced)I want the iPad2.
Me : Okay. Lets buy it.
Db : (puppy faced again)Ummmmmm...!!! Its very costly.
Me : Okay. Lets not buy it then.
Db : What's my b'day gift then...you never gift me anything.
Me : Okay lets buy the iPad.
Db : Too costly.
Me : How about a watch?
Db : I already have three.
Me : Few new T-shirts...
Db : Nah...I have enough.
Me : Okay PS3...
Db : I dont like playing games.
Me : Okay. A nice novel. I know you like to read.
Db : Hmm...that works. You could do that.
Me : Great. (I know he likes John Grisham)

Next day.
Db : Which book have you decided for me.?
Me : John Grisham.The Confession.
Db : Hey don't buy that. I already have that e-book in my kindle.
Me : Okay. How about 'The Associate'
Db : I have that too.
Me : 'The Appeal'???
Db : That too.
Me : Could you please visit the site and tell me which one you haven't read.
Db : (After a while) Hmm...most of them.
Me : Basically I should chuck the book buying idea?
Db : Hmm...well Yes.
Me : So what the hell do you want!!!
Db : (puppy faced)I want the iPad2.

Repeat Block one.

Men's Gadgets vs woman's clothes

Last night Db asked my opinion on buying a wireless keyboard.

Me : And what would you do with it. We do not have a desktop anyway, 3 laptops all with their own keyboards. Where would you use it?
Db : I will connect the laptop to the TV and use the keyboard with it.
Me : **Rolling my eyes**
Db : You don't think its a good idea?
Me : Its a psycho idea.

Db : I don't spend anything on gadgets.
Me : You do. You just bought a new phone...the Samsung Galaxy Ace. While your HTC was in great condition.
Db : My HTC is a dinosaur, it uses windows 5. What else did I buy?
Me : You bought the Netbook, while we already had 2 laptops.
Db : Thats because the mother board of my compaq laptop was damaged...
Me : And you got that fixed too for 10 thousand. What about the Kindle???
Db : Yeah I would accept that. But I use it.
Me : And the iPod Touch???
Db : That was a gift, freee.
Me : No, you asked your friend to get it for you from the US. He chose to gift it us as a belated wedding gift.
Db : Okay.
Me : And that laptop stand, with a fan, to keep your laptop thanda.
Db : Thats anything but a gadget.
Me : Whatever!!! The light to read the kindle in dark.
Db : I am gonna kill myself if you call that a gadget.
Me : Anything that has been bought from a croma or ezone and is or used in a computer/tablet/e-book reader qualifies as a gadget.

Db : I am terribly offended. I am gonhna hit you where it hurts the most.

He starts checking his credit card satements since 2010 to check for how much I have spent on clothing and home appliances, which comes to almost 50K.

But here is my defence.
This 50K also includes your jeans for almost 2500, SIL's shopping close to 2000, your shoes from Reebok for 6000 and may be around 3000 that we shopped at Jeypore when we visited there in October.
That leaves me with a little more than 35K. That's almost equal to the price of the iPad if I would have let you buy it.

So not bad..huh!!!

Day 22 : The famous last words

Someone had told me that the key board has more germs than a toilette seat.

Falls with a bang on the keyboard.

Day 21 : Already in a Holiday mood

Such a holiday mood that I am in and also because I stayed quite late at office last night...I almost decided I would not come to office today. But one hit on my conscience by none other than Db and I am here tearing my hair...

Day 20 : Introspect

Its strange how we wait all our life to grow up and come into our own, and when we reach that stage all we want to do is to go back to childhood. We grow up only to realise how things were simpler back then....when life revolved around things like friends, chocolates, playing and sometimes studies. Back then, we would wonder how cool it would be to go to college, to work and to be on your own.

One of biggest thing I craved as a child was to get my independence when I grew up. But we forget that independence comes with a price. There a whole lot of expectations from you. Now little mistakes have huge impacts and never can you get away with mistakes as you made as a kid. We are no longer answerable to just parents and teachers, we are also answerable to our boss at work, and if we are in a relationship we are largely answerable to our partner too. Then you get married and now you are answerable to a whole new set of people, your in-laws.

Life has been a cycle ever since we got married 3 years back. There have been problems, issues ever since. In the last 3 years there has hardly ever been a time when we sat down to think about US, I mean the both of us, what we would like to do or what exactly were OUR problems.
It was always others, my family and his which constantly claimed our attention. I believe the fault lies with US, since the responsibility belongs to the one who takes it. We voluntarily and large heartedly took their problems as ours and eventually lost ourselves within.
Sure its true that you cannot keep everyone happy...

And now, that we somehow managed to put a few things into place, and believed eventually we would be able to sigh peace...another chapter awaits US.

Day 19 :

Its going as an unfruitful day...

The servers are down so the testers cant test...
The testers can't test, so no bugs are raised...
No bugs are raised, so I have no work.

**Yawn**

Day 18

3 more days to go before I go home...

Day 17 : On the hunt

Humko toh hamare package ne mara
Technical round mein kya dum tha
Humare kasti wahan doobi
Jahaan paisa kam tha

Written in homage to all those offer letters that I lost because they believed my package was already too high for them to afford me.

Doesn't make sense...

whatever!!

Day 16 : Misplaced Intelligence

Ah I am so heartbroken.

I had reasons to believe that I would put down my papers before I start home on the 21st of this month.
But thats not happening, because I screwed up.
I had this offer from a descent company, though the package was not great but I would sure have loved to be a part of the organization. Even after many negotiations I could not bring them to give me any better pakage. I thought I would probably accept the offer and during my two months of notice period I would try to find a better offer.
But Db encouraged me to take a chance.

I was aware that my rating from the interview panel was quite high. I wrote them a mail stating that I would not be able to accept the offer if they were not willing to increase the pakage. We hoped that would ring a bell for them and they would try to put there best foot forward. It had happened several times in the past and this could have happened again. But it seems it didn't go well with them and the consultant tells me that the offer is withdrawn.
Boo hoo hoo!!!
I guess sometimes we think we are too smart, but people are smarter. I probably shouldn't have tried to use too much of my brains.

But then...lemme look at the better side of it.

I would get to work in the new building of my current employer. We are going to shift there by July and the building seems to be exteremely beautiful.

My salary here is not too bad, and I have managed to build an reputation here...because of which I believe I was given a higher designation during this appraisal cycle.

I can get a car loan from my office, at a nominal interest.

I can finally redeem the money for my french lessons, which otherwise wouldn't have been reimbursed.

Day 15 : Imagination Running Wild

Kinda free today, so lets have a thoughful post for a change.

Life has changed a lot in the past 12 years. With just two TV channels, a bicycle to ride, no internet, no cell phones and no computers(a rarety then), its difficult to imagine if we even had a life back then. Probably the next generation would not see such life changing inventions.
But on second thoughts may be they will.
Probably our parents would have thought the same about our generation...since they witnessed the invention of more essential things ...motor vehicles, plane, telephone, cameras or as small but essential things like gas stoves and mixer gringers. Probaly things that we saw in our lifetime would go more towards luxury while what our parents saw were essentials. May be our kids would witness something beyond just luxury.

If you were a Super Commando Dhruv fan in your hay days, you would understand this.
I wish they come up with this 'aayami dwaar' (inter-dimesional door) that Dhananjay had to anywhere he wants. It would open in the air and you just need to enter it and opens at wherever you want to go. They could probably have access rights on the door so as to control the access to various destinations. That would save us all the tedious travel in the traffic.

Day 14: Dilemma!!!

How big a salary pakage would make you agree to join an office with an old building which makes you feel you have gone back by 30 years on a time machine, with age old systems and extensions, with a stinky bathroom with no tissues.

Day 13 : Busy Me

The 22 day marathon blogging is turning out not a very difficult task as such.
At least I am a little more regular and have been posting quite some actions for each day.

Well...life's got busy.
Lets take today as an instance.
I had a salary negotiation with Comapny1 today, have a telephonic technical round at 12 noon with company2 and an face to face round with one of the directors of Company3today at 6pm.
Amist all this I am still working on the project which is getting more and more tedious with each passing day..

Day 12

I am early to office today.
One of the things that hate about the team is nobody takes the team meetings serously.
We are supposed to have this stand up meetings everyday at 10, when I would personally make sure each one of them does attend the meetings. But that I don't give a damn (the reason for ot would be a part of the upcoming blogs), no body really cares.

Its past 10 already and there are not even 50% of the legs available for the meeting.

Day 11: Crossing the bridge to high maintainence

I feel I have suddenly transformed into a high maintainence wife.

I suddenly find myself interested in high heels and beauty parlors, these institutions have been deprived of my attention all these years.

I went for a pedicure today for the very first time in my life and the guilt was overbearing since the attendant had to really work hard for my feet. She could have attended two clients with that amount of time.
Also, I bought a pair of high heels this evening, the second since last month.

Db's been wondering whatever happened to his low maintainence wife.

Day 10 : Its raining birthdays

Its friday...
Somehow I feel my virtual battery gets almost discharged by friday everyweek. With very little energy left, friday is the day I am the least interested in my work.

But I have something to look forward to today.
We had five birthday's this week, in a team of 30 odd people. So these 5 people have joined hands to give us a nice lunch today.

Food...good food!!! Slurppp!!!

Day 9

I wrote a whole big blog but lost it somehow. Cannot gather the patience to remember all of it and jot it down all over again.

Lemme just fill up this place to keep the 8 days old tradition alive.

Day 8 : Making up for the lost time.

Ouch!!! I missed my 22 days resolution by not posting yesterday. Shorry!!!

I was at home, not keeping very well. And I find it weird to answer them when everyone at office starts quizzing me on why I took a day off. What can I tell them, sometimes I say stomach upset and sometimes an headache. However I have always stood by it that women need more sick leaves than men anyways.

Didn't do much at home yesterday, just watched a couple of Bymokesh Bakshi episodes on youtube.
You know what!!!
I always complained that all the TV serials and movied churned out in Hindi mostly cover Punjab, and sometimes Bengal, Gujrat, Rajasthan, The southern states, Maharastra, UP and even the northenmost states Kashmir, Himachal and Jammu. But I am yet to see Orissa featured anywhere. There are no movies, no serials made on us Oriyas. But there is one reference to Orissa, and its in Byomkesh Bakshi. Though the set up is in Kolkata and the characters are all Bengali, but in the episode Kamra No 102, he mentions the ancient city of Orissa, Cuttack.

Though not a pivotial reference, yet I am happy to hear the mention of Orissa on screen for the first time.

Day 7

I don't really have anything in mind now, writing just to keep my 22 days resolution.

Day started as usual, I realized that I had dozed off after switching on the geyser, yet again in the sitting position. Epitome of laziness I think, when one can doze off while sitting on the bed.

For some unknown reason the buses were unusually crowded today. Gave a skip to almost 7-8 buses because they seemed to have no place to breathe. Managed to convince two women at the stop to share an autorickshaw with me. Each of our share turned out to be excatly equal to the bus fare we shell out everyday. Dont think its a bad idea to start sharing rickshaws everyday.

Day 6 : If thats how you want it to be

Its a day off for me and SIL, but Db is working today.

Things are getting a little out of hands and beyond control in terms of our personal life...something I did not want and had not expected. I am scared because I think its well gone beyond repair. And I have too many people and too many things I can hold responsible for this mess, incuding my overeacting to certain situations which otherwise I would have ignored and laughed it off.

But its okay. If this is how certain people want to shape their relationships with me, I am fine with all of that.

Day 5

It was a long night the last night.

India winning the World cup is an experience one has to witness to believe, and It would not have been half the fun if Db's friends werent here and more so if we hadn't decided to go out on the streets last night.

It was overwhelming, people were out with the Indian flag running around, hi- fing with the bikers. People were shouting and wailing at each other, acknowledging eachother and congratulating each other on our success in their own way... Some subtley by displaying a thumbs up or hailing at each other, some more aggressively by pulling out their shirts and a few of them trousers too.

We came back around one but were too excited to sleep. So we played cards till six in the morning.

It's been a night out after a long time and I am sure most of all Indians hadn't slept all night like us. It's amazing that how much effect a game can have on us and on the country as a whole.

Day 4 : The big day...the 2011 World Cup Final

Team India has been doing well till now.

I think the fielding is pretty tight and the team is giving it all. Also,a learning I got today. If men have to choose between a cricket match and a gadget, the choice is obvious. It's a gadget.

The wife is not is not in the running anyway!!!

After the second innings:

We woooonnnnn!!! And such a well deserved victory it was. For a non cricket lover, it was such a esctasic moment... Can't believe what the cricket lovers must be going through. They won it once the year I was born, and this time I witnessed it...now with a sore throat after all the screaming.

Congratulations India and bravo the Indian cricket team. Here we make history again!!!

Day 3

Its Ugadi today, and we were requested to wear ethnic wear. I managed to grab a gaudy salwaar kammez instead of a saree. And the good news is the dress feela a bit loose to me...so am I finally losing some weight?
Well...the sad part is I seem to be the only one remotely in ethnic wear today in my team, being a friday all others are in casuals.

But there is a lady at office who generally turns up in short skirts, she is all ethnically dressed with dozen matching bangles, and so are a few jalparis at office. I like it when the office is all colourful and happy.

On the other hand, gearing up for the World Cup finals tomorrow. Its not very surprising that I don't have any interviews lined up tomorrow, of course no one wants to miss a World Cup final with the Indian team participating. We are expecting some of Db's friends tomorrow for the match. Might get induldegent with some rich food either cooked or ordered.

Hope the Indian team wins and gets the World cup home.

Day 2 : The 2011 World Cup Semi Final

What a match it was last night, certainly worth the guilt I carried for taking an half day from office. And, I thought it was a lot of fun. May be some Pakistani players were paid to boost Sachin's luck. I witnessed at least four catches that they missed. It did pay them dearly at the end. The last Pakistani batsman, who I am told is Misbah, was almost sleep walking through out the match and woke up only at the last overs when it was already too late. I am glad the Indian team lived upto all the hype. The noise that the city was making last night after the match was overwhelming. The fire crackers and incessant noise, everybody was too excited to sleep. Most of the people are late to office today after having a late night yesterday. Also I see so many groups around discussing and having a postmortem of the match tomorrow. Its amazing how much effect a game can have on our lifes. ** Added Later My parents have recently moved in to his new apartment and it was getting tough for them to get hold of the concerned people to get their internet and cable connections. Mum has been cribbing since last 2 weeks having denied her regular Saas-bahu quota. But come the semifinals of the World cup, Dad got hold of the cable guy and managed to get the cable connection the same day morning. Men I tell you...all are the same!!!

Day 1 : Lets start

For no particular reason, I have decided to chain my blog for the next 22 days.

May be because I am guilty of not being regular to my own site, so this is a way to regularize it for a while. So I am gonna blog each day for the next 22 days. Why 22 if you might ask??? Because on the 23rd day I'll be at Bhubaneswar with my parents. SInce they have recently shifted, I can;t be sure if they'd have got the internet at home.

Today is a good day to start with. Today being the World Cup semi finals between India and Pakistan. Well...I am not really a cricket buff, yet but my manager has granted me and a couple of others the option to take a half day to watch cricket. I am not keen on the cricket match but I do not mind a half day though. So I am going to exercise my option anyway.

I feel its not fair to put so much pressure on the players. Cricket is a game after all.
I am given to believe that the place Mohali, where the match is to take place, seems to have no more hotel reservations left, no place for private jet landing as well and while the tickets of the match have been sold at insane prices. Also it seems some of the offices have declared it an half day today. I hope the players after winning over the Aussies, were taken to some remote and secluded place where they did not have access to the telivision or newspapers.

Well...I'd be leaving in an hour may be, so lets do some work till then.

Flexible Believer

Its not strange when people show me gaping mouths when I tell them a Brahmin while being surrounded with all kinda kebabs and dead things which once moved. I don't get it, similar to how I don't get it when people give me the look of being a sinner who has just lost the right to live when I admit to having not watched the GodFather series. So what...I haven't even watched Sholay completely (stoops to avoid the jooton ki baarish)

According to them I am a huge black dot to Brahmins and probably needs to be banished fom the Brahmin community, I don't mind though (But please throw me to the OBC so that my kids will at least get the quota reservation). As for me, my beliefs do not cater to Brahmism or elsewhere.

I believe do anything and everything that makes you happy and doesn't harm others. Everything else falls into place...family, society and God too. Like most of the times when the MIL or my Mom inqure about me visiting the temple or fasting today, I with all my sincerity and goodwill always answer assertive while munching on a plate of Chicken at the KFC. So you see, everybody is happy...and when everyone is, God is happy too.

But yes, I do consider myself as an vegetarian. I am vegetarian at all times except when I feel like it, or my friends have been ordering the same, I am dead bored/frustrated, or when I haven't had it in the last 2 days.

If this doesn't make sense to you, I cant help it. It doesn't make sense to me either when people have been asking for a public holiday tomorrow to watch the India-Pak World Cup semifinals...Big Deal!!!

Window shopping is not bad

Window shopping is not for me. Not that I buy only when I need, but window shopping just isn't my kinda sport. Db does that better than me, just that he window shops things that do not interest me...gadgets, and sometimes furniture too.

But it isn't such a bad thing after all. And I realized it only two weeks back.

We were at the lifestyle on that Saturday evening. And Db was literally pulling me across the Lifestyle Homecentre. He loves to look around sofas, beds, cupboards...I was already bored out of my skull.
And suddenly, we set our eyes on a dressing table kinda thing, which had some good number of drawers. The tag on it said 'WAS 24999 NOW 4999'. What the hell!!! It didn't look that cheap. And a basic dressing table had cost us 3.5-4K some 10-12 years back when my parents bought it. We thought it must be a printing issue and the price must be 14999. We checked with the concerned people and it turned out to be the 4999 as printed.
Well, the trick of these sales are to make you buy things that you do not necessarily need. And more storage is something you can always do with. We quickly calculated that it would help us store our laptop cables, chargers, hard disks, pendrives and stuff and so its a good buy for 5K. But we were and still are quite sure, this stuff is wrongly marked for the given sum.

We did order the furniture and we were assured we would be given a fresh piece and not the display one, may be this one had some defect hence cost less. They committed to deliver it in 2 weeks.
The last 2 weeks we pretty much expected that they would ask us to pay a balance of 10K the day they deliver the piece to us.
But we recieved the furniture last evening, with no visible defects and at the same price that we had originally paid for.
But we are still not convinced that it is for 5K.

So, window shopping is not that bad I guess .

I wanna un-know things

Read it somewhere...just tweeking it a little bit to suit myself.

I wish I could unknow things...you like we know things, wish we could unknow them as well. Because when you know things, and finally decide to do something based on your knowings you still cannot go to sleep contended. Because people around you who matter will have opinions, justifications and questions on our actions. These opinions, justifications and questions are all I fear. I fear I am losing respect for people I ought to respect. I fear what if at the end of it, its me who turns out to be wrong.

Museebat padi, toh roya tha,
Jyada mussebat padi, toh chup ho gaya tha,
Bahut zyada museebat padi hai, toh hasta hoon,
Aakhir duniya mein basta hoon

Patiala House

Given the fact that most of the last movies of Akshay Kumar were sheer headaches, yet I had the patience and risk appetite of watching 'Patiala House' today. The SIL waarned me well before hand, yet it was my undying love for AK since the 'Mohra' days, when I was a dreamy eyed teenager who fell for his charms when he would fight away the goons double his size to save his lady love or the 'Kanoon' in most cases.

And I am so glad i have good things to say about an Akshay Kumar movie after a long time.

While '3 Idiots' subtlety pointed out on parents trying to mould their children to their expectations and aspirations, the concept is pretty in the face with 'Patiala House'. I loved the beginning of the movie which shows a subdued AK leading a life chosen by his father. And surprisingly played well by a usually over-the-top Akshay.
For a change, this film seems to have a story and a tight screenplay with most of the loose ends tied up.
I do vehemently criticize migrants who go abroad to earn dollars or pounds yet refuse to accept the culture of the place. This ideology, I believe is very wrong be it Simran's dad in DDLJ, Jasmeets's dad in 'Namastey London' or Rishi Kapoor in 'Patiala House'. Yet Rishi Kapoor being Rishi Kapoor manages to add a certain honesty to his character. Many of the scenes given to Anuska Sharma looked forced, the movie could have done without them. And how I wish the songs were chopped off. Why do most filmmakers seem to believe that half of India is Punjabi and the other half are dying to know how Punjabis speak, dance, dress or live. I am going to boycott the next movie which showcases a Punjabi wedding song, had enough of them already.

I like the climax which had huge possibilities of going excessively dramatic, but is surprisingly kept more subdued and practical, and hence had more impact.

I understand the fact that people have lost faith on Akshay Kumar movies, given his last few releases. No wonder the theater was almost empty. Yet, it was worth the risk, and 'Patiala House' indeed was a pleasant watch.

Three years of marraige...completes

Okay...so we celebrate our third anniversary today. How, you might ask...
The answer to that is Db is celebrating his anniversary with his clients discussing his new requirements and I am celebrating mine coding to generate RTGS payment messages.
Gifts...yes. We do have them. He bought me a pair of jeans last week, which FITS. And I presented him the 3000 rupees worth free books facility that my employer gave me for completeing an year with them.

But the good part is, no one's complaining.
Why...may be because we never felt the need to have a special day to have to express our love to each other, or a reason to celebrate our togetherness. The fact that we cherish and celebrate being together each day, takes away the need to celebrate that one special day.

Hmm...so if you are reading this and I know you will.
I know you carry the guilt when I go out all by myself to buy chicken for dinner while you were merrily lying on the bed surrounded by your favorite gadgets, or when ever you found me standing in the volvo unable to find myself a seat to office, or when ever you found me cleaning the house fanatically of your papers,jackets, clothes and wires...
I know you carry the guilt of giving me a tougher married life than I had anticipated...yet just having you makes up for all of it. Coz, niether did I ever anticipate sharing a such a great life with you.

Eeshhh!!! I have never been half this cheesy!!! okay...I didn't write this. My system just got hacked and has probably been taken over by SRK inspired virus.

Innovations...phew!!!

More and more meetings to find innovations at work going nowhere.

I think we rae moving too fast. While I feel the team is not ready for innovations, we need improvements here. Improvements, which would eventually build the platform to introduce innovations.

Currently, we pitch in with an overdose of ideas, but we fail to implement them. Very similar to, as they say its easier to achieve success but difficult to maintain it at the top. Other than just one we have failed miserably to implement any of the innovations we started, only because the team is not ready to accept and participate in the changes.

Yes, I believe before we flood ourselfs with innumerous ideas and innovations, lets try to look within ourselves and think...'are we ready???' Instead lets try to make a more committed, sportive and interested team first.

They say the team works the best when the word 'I' is reduced to minimum. I cannot help but take myself as the example of the Frankestine's monster in the team.
When I joined a year back, I was brimming with ideas. I genuinely wanted to make a difference, a motivated team member. I stand here today, a year passed, demotivated so much so that I feel like just a necessary furniture in a house. I do have chances now to take up the changes and start afresh, but I am just not interested anymore.

Why??? Find the answer to this and all your questions are answered.
That would be a good change to start with.

Assumptions

The post is triggered by a random discussion with the BA (Business Analyst) on the bullet point in the functional spec which said 'Assumptions'. The points under this heading seemed outrageous to me...
'We cannot assume such things'
'Yes we can', he argued. 'To anything we can't find logic to, we assume them'

As much as this was a HAIN!!!!! moment for me, but yes I do certainly agree to his definition of assumption...at least with respect to life.

As a kid and a teenager I had my own set of weird assumptions, things I look back and go 'Me..Really!!!'. Things which had no logic, no prior experience to infer such, but yet strongly believed and adhered to. Lemme list down a few :

1. Any guy driving a bullet is essentially a Gunda. But the vice versa is not true, all Gundas do not have bullets, even the scooter, luna or even bicycle driving ones can be equally menacing. You can't afford to be either friends nor enemies with them...so just smile and wave girls!!!

2. All guys who are dark (not wheatish...dark) are smokers.

3. Any guy who is a good dancer is a flirt. So you know not to get ideas when he tries to strike a conversation with you or wants to have a dance with you. On the contrary, guys with two left feet are the ones you should target...they are the ones with a heart of gold.

4. Only the village belles pleat their hair, the smarters would rather keep their hair loose no matter how untidy they look.

5. People who say 'Yes' are villagers, who say 'Ya' are wannabes and the ones who say 'Yeah' are the ones who have completed the evolution cycle to smartness.

6. Its fashionable to announce 'Shit!!! I didn't study a thing' before the exams, 'Oh it went horrible !!!' post-exam and declare a 'I donno what he was smoking while correcting my papers !!!' when the results are out and you pass.

And the final one...this one while I was a tod :

7. Its not we that grow up, its the clothes that shrink in size. So you gotta store your favorite dresses carefully, when they become too small, you can make your dolls wear them.

Snippets

@lifestyle.

Me : **Picking up two handbags** So which one do you like?
Db : **Hardly bothering to look** Niether.
Some giggling teenagers around : **What else!!! Giggle uncontrollably**

Men...Phew!!!