A LESSON LEARNT...

I came back from my brother’s wedding the day before. Frankly speaking I have never been very fond of my sister in law, not that we are on logger heads, we are rather very cordial to each other…but we aren’t the best of friends, unlike the way I am with Db’s sister.
But there is always something to learn from every person.

I remember the days when I just got married, I looked nothing less of a villager, straight out from a KANJIVARAM house, loaded with gold, and overdosed with red. That’s because, the new bride is supposed to look like a showpiece to respective relatives, of the kind of clothes and ornaments that she brings along. My in laws place had had a huge gang of relatives (the wedding video has it…when I entered the house, I feared my life…I thought I would die in the stampede), and a good chunk of them were above middle aged, who are in general more particular about the bahu looking like a bahu. So I had to be all red, with huge red BINDI, gold jewelry, GHUGHAT, heavy KANJIVARAM SAREES and above all GAJRA…eeks!!!! Db and I mutually decided we didn’t want to see those pictures again, so the album has been shoved into a corner and I have no idea where the CD is lying…and we also don’t show our wedding pics or CD to anyone.

But here I saw my SIL in a welcome new avatar.
Despite of the fact that I loathed the long hours that she spent in the parlors, the kind of money she spent on every single dress that she was wearing (more so since they are not reusable), but that fact that she was all so interested in herself is commendable. She was particular about every single inch of fat that she might put on, the kind of colors that suit her, the kind of jewelry that would go with her dress and personality. She wore all fancy sarees, not necessarily in red, she wore all good looking PATIALAS, slacks and Kurtas, perfect make up, and I must say she was looking great. I agree to the fact that, it was more because, we do not have our so called relatives breathing on our neck all the time, and my family is absolutely liberal in terms of what the bahu has to be wearing…but she took up this chance and was at her best…sure she wont be hiding her wedding albums from everyone.

May be I could have done the same. Agreed there were more people to please, and ones who are difficult to please as well, but It could have been better than what it turned out to be. May be I could have shopped for myself than leaving it all on my Mom, instead of just surrendering to what people made me into…I could have taken a stand and done myself they way I would like to see myself. But I rather, concentrated on pleasing others and hence a made a mess of one of my most memorable experience of my life.

Ah well!!! My SIL, deliberately or not deliberately has taught me the value of taking care of oneself. There were people congratulating my brother on his wedding and also for having got such a pretty wife.
Ever since my marriage, I have been more careless than ever, I hardly go to a parlour…my hair, my face, my clothes are all in a mess. I haven’t taken care of myself ever since. When we clicked a pic with my Dad, him holding me on one side and my SIL on the other, I could see the difference, she looked like a princess and I like..errr ahem ahem!!!

No I haven’t got a complex…for sure. I have always been like that…when in college I wouldn’t look at the mirror for days together, my friends would joke at me by asking when was the last I saw the mirror.
But I just see the importance of taking yourself seriously.
In April a few of Db’s friends are expected to come to Bangalore. It’s the same friend whose wife saw my wedding pics and commented on my weight (grrrrrrrrrr!!!), though I wasn’t all that fat, it was just the KANJIVARAM Saree. I really wanna present a better self to them, cant wait to see the twinkle on Db’s face when they compliment him about me.