PROGRAMMING HUMOUR

I found this on somebody's blog

Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.

When I googled it, some say its written by John F. Woods while others say its written by Martin Golding.
Though it doesn't matter to me who wrote it, what I wonder is, what would that guy have gone through to have come up with this!!!

*ROFL*

BEING POLITE DOESN'T WORK

The reality bites, to say that it doesn't work to be polite here.
Everyone here is in a mad run to nowhere, ready to stomp over the next person, and its a big pain in the neck to get things done.

There's always a incident or a bad experience that acts as trigger point for every post. For this one, its my house maid.
Because of the fact that I have never been rude to her, considered all her excuses, she's been taking me for a ride. I am so thoroughly disgusted with the fact that people don't value others who treat them well, you always have to be rude to get things done.

Considering the fact that I am quite incapable of being rude due to my low confidence, to the point that I don't even make my point said and heard at times, I presume that I am quite incapable of going to the managerial positions in my career.
But I believe one of my biggest strengths is, I know my weaknesses and have the balls to accept them and work towards them. I am gonna take this opportunity to handle my house maid as my first task to managing people. If I can get her straight, then for sure, I will work well as a manager.

ONE MONDAY MORNING...

This Monday morning as I switch on my system, it has a new wall paper on my desktop which has a polar bear sleeping in a ice field, with a flag in hand, which says ' @myEmployer It's Cooler now'.
Just when the AC is switched off to cut costs, and I have a loads of things to complete, neither is it half as cool nor I can sleep like the bear. Forget sleeping, I find the chairs at my workplace so very uncomfortable to sit.
I donno who comes up with these outrageously (intentionally or unintentionally) sarcastic statements.

MA NEW LOOK...

Got real tired of the old template...I guess that's how Geminis are, can't hold to one thing for long...
So changed to something I found more interesting...

Its 2 am already...I almost worked all day on boiling down to one template, finally done now. Hope its looks good...

Gotta go to sleep now, have a long day tomorrow with the fasting...
Not that i am complaining, I got four new Kurtas and a new Tee for this fasting day, So you see, at the end of the day it isn't a bad deal at all!!!
Hope I lose at least a few grams with all the fasting tomorrow...that would be the bonus. :)

Good Night
*Yawn*

ON A SHOPPING SPREE

Me and my team mate, decided to have lunch out today.
As she suggested, we went to Subway to have good food with the minimum calories (that's what I would love to believe). But Commercial street is not the place where you can just go fill your tummy and come back, especially if you are a woman who is not blind, and if you are carrying a credit card, and more so if the money you spend on that card gets billed to your husband, and even more so if you have a good excuse to buy them...

Fortunately and unfortunately (for us and our husbands respectively), the first two conditions were applicable to my friend and I satisfied the other two as well. So, there was no stopping at all...

We had our lunch at Subway, and then suddenly my friend remembers she had to pick some shoe from this shop. We picked it up, but while coming back we crossed so many shops which hung nice kurtas. The shopaholic self got better of us and we ended up shopping some kurtas.
Finally we got an auto and headed back to office, but mid way I found I had left my access card in one of the trial rooms. We rushed back to the shop only to come across some nice Tees. The shopaholic self got better of us again and we ended up shopping some Tees as well.

I am amazed at my capability to spend almost two thousand in less than 20 minutes (my friend spent a few more thousands in the same time).
Db had gifted me a complimentary credit card last year, which I could use and he gets billed for my expenses (some people have all the luck...I know!!!). For some reason he believed that I am not a high maintenance wife...I guess its time for him to revise his decisions.

THE OFFICE LOOKS SO MUCH MORE LIVELY

Of course, one reasoning is I am myself quite lively today . The weather was nice, and I thoroughly enjoyed my ride to office...also after a really long time, I have no mails(=no work) at office. So I can already visualize a day ahead, with lots of blog reading, checking out movie reviews, stock market and wot not.

The other reason is, a good lot of trainees have joined our office recently, and most of them from the same batch whom I trained on hibernate.

One of them has joined my team. Her credentials hasn’t been set yet, so she can’t access the client network (it’s a lousy process here).

She is slim and pretty (just as I used to be when I joined as a trainee...sob sob), wears matching studs and shoes with her dress, for sure runs to the rest room every hour to comb her hair back to shape(her hair is always so organized), doesn't have a single extra hair on her hands or her eye brows.

I am amused every time...

She comes to my desk, smiles clumsily and asks me if she can leave for the day (anyway she can’t do anything for the project yet...so, go ahead darling!!!),

When ever she takes a day off...the next day she gives me a 5 min long explanation on how she had a stomach upset due to water contamination(I didn't even ask for it…its okay baby!!!),

Asks me a lot of outrageously silly questions about the application(its unfair to get irritated with her, the poor thing has got no experience at work).

I find these guys at the cafeteria most of the time. The girls are all carefully dressed, carrying expensive mobile phones. They start giggling at the drop of a hat, I feel as if they are giggling at me once in a while, may be because I am hardly half as carefully dressed and I have no idea what shoes or studs would go with my dress, neither I have time nor the inclination for the same (Okay...lame excuse...accepted!!!).

The guys all wear the oh-I-am-the-stud-here attitude on their face...since they haven't grown their tummies yet. They come with spotless and flat ironed shirts and nice fit trousers...try a bit too hard to keep a professional look while dealing with other people at office (while the others have already lost that expression).

But overall, I find the atmosphere at office quite lively now. The trainees are hovering around the office most of the time, since there is not much work coming these days and also I believe most of them wouldn't have been allotted a system yet...And well, who minds some Hariyali in office, to see some hot chicks and studs at their best. Do we????

*wink*

THE WAIT CONTINUES POST ELECTION RESULTS

Carrying forward from my previous post, the elections backfired me. Though I am happy to have a stable government at this point of time, despite of the fact that Congress doesn't happen to be my favorite...but certainly its better than having the Left or the Commis having a major chunk of seats and poking their long, ridiculous and disturbing nose into the country affairs.

But the stock market has gone up like crazy...2100 points up in a day...i.e almost 18 percent!!! As I heard on CNBC, the fact that you don't have to see Karat's face anymore is worth 500 points up in the market.

All those stocks which were showing up in red since a long time in our portfolio, all went green yesterday. But pity we didn't even get a chance to sell them off, the market was open for hardly a minute yesterday...all our trade requests remained yawning in the queue all day.
Though today the market seems a lot more rational than yesterday, by now its hovering around 350 points up almost, and we are planning to sell off all our shares which have turned green after being in red for a real long time...

पर यह market निचे कब जाएगा यार ??? Damn!!!

AN ENDLESS WAIT

We are waiting for the market(Sensex) to go down, so that we can buy our favorite stocks.
But every time that it goes 200 points down in a day, the next day it goes up by 300 points...

The fact that the market is going up is doing no good for us. Raju has made sure to make Maa Behen of Satyam shares, the and no matter how well the Sensex does, we have no hopes left for them.

Even on every news channels, the so called market guru's seem to have no clue as to why the market is constantly going up. They expect it to fall down sharply sometime soon. They expected the same when the Infosys and TCS quarterly results were out, same when the stress results were out and again when the exit poll results were out...they expect the same when the global markets have gone down each day. But nothing could bring it down, irrespective of the fate of US markets or other Asian markets, the Indian markets have mostly gained. The US market has gone up by 30% in last 3 months, while for the Indian market its over 40%.

Its good news actually, in terms of the best interests of the economy of the country.
But for the sake of investors like us, I hope it goes down, just once, back to 10,000. Maa Kaasam!!! Investors like us will make sure it gets back to where it was and even more.

Hope the election results tomorrow gets us some good news.

MY LITTLE DRAMA

Yeah...I am quite a drama queen you know!!!

All I needed is a week off, to travel to Db's home back in Orissa. But managers are a tough nut to crack you see. Yeah I know, they are answerable to people above them when the billing is gonna slip for a week for one resource, but I really needed these leaves.

My SIL is back home for a couple of months, and with her around things get real smoother back at my in-laws place. She doesn't let any of the relatives lay hand on me, and the most important of all, I don't have to wear sarees...yipeeeeeee!!!
Yes, I have always maintained, she is the best SIL one could ask for, and I am the worst!!!

My manager was hell bent not to approve my leaves, since I took a week off in Feb for my brother's wedding. But I was not the ones who give up so easily.

Manager : You can't take leaves for a week on every quarter. You took a week off just the last quarter.
Me : That was to go to my home, this time I gotta go to my in-laws place.
Manager : (Irritated) This is not done. You can take 3 days leave maximum or go home in the next quarter.
Me : Three days wont help since it takes 4 days in traveling to and fro.
Manager : To what part in India does it take 2 days to reach??? I am sorry, can't approve your leaves.

Damn!!! I am losing...

Me : But by then the deliverables would be done. My leaves are placed at the safest time.
Manager : Its not about deliverables or deadlines, I can't let the billing slip for a week for a resource.

Still losing...

Me : But I wouldn't be taking any more long leaves in 2009. We are done with visiting both the families once in a year.
Manager : No!!!I am sure again you would feel like going home during Durga Puja.

Damn!!! These managers have answers to everything...gotta think of something fast.

Me : (With a poker face)I am sorry. I will have to be off whether you approve it or not. If it would have been my family, I would have stayed back, but you know how it is with the inLaws. They wouldn't be too happy if I said we can't go due to my job.

Manager : (Sympathetic) Hmm...Okay. But no more week long leaves for you this year.
Me : (with almost brimming eyes) unless heaven strikes...Thanks!!!

Ah!!! Victory at last, at the cost of some drama, its all worth it though...
Doesn't matter though, if he would be imagining me being tortured to death by MIL if I didn't get those leaves. मेरे बाप का क्या जाता है !!!
*wink*

CONFUSION OVER A B'DAY GIFT

This is not fair!!!
Its raining b'days for us. The 16th is Db's b'day and exactly after 24 days its mine. Its been simpler for Db, I have a very transparent face, he knows exactly what makes me happy or sad. Also, I have plenty of things on my wish list:

I wanna join swimming lessons.
I want to have a keyboard (musical keyboard).
I have been trying to make a new painting since a long time, my oil paints are finished and I am being so lazy to get a new pack.
My bean bag burst last week and ever since I have been wanting to buy another one.

So you see, Db has plenty of choices.

On the other hand, Db has been moving towards sainthood with a steady pace.
Talk about shopping, and he has plenty, talk about books, he hasn't got the time, talk about partying, he doesn't drive when he even sniffs alcohol (that's fair though), talk about good food, he says "Arrey Dal Roti bhi chalega".
He hates TV, doesn't like watching movies, isn't a great music lover, hasn't got any intrests other than the stock market and investment books.
I am totally blank, as in what the heck should I buy him that makes him happy.

Huh!!! Talk about people who are difficult to please!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!