The Groom Hunt V

Now THIS is the one which worked as the final nail in the coffin.

As I was given to believe, THIS alliance was kept on hold for almost 4 years...i.e. even when I hadn't finished my education. My parents kept avoiding them since they believed I was not ready for marraige, and when they did get interested, the guy was in the US.
I had already met his parents, younger brother, Mamaji, Mamiiji, Nanaji and Naniji. And now that he was back in India, our parents wanted us to meet. Despite of the fact that he was in Bangalore for a couple of days to meet his younger brother who worked here, he didn't come to see me. This was because his parents wanted us to meet in the presence of his family. Weird as it sounds, I had to agree since my parents were quite keen on this alliance.
I had a war of words with my manager to get my leaves approved, so as to make it to Rourkela to meet him.

And finally he came to meet me, again with his parents, younger brother, Mamaji, Mamiiji, Nanaji and Naniji. But the meeting was not half as weird as I had anticipated.

My Father was strictly against the idea of me wearing a saree and carrying a snacks tray to the guy's family. So I was in my room sitting on my computer playinh PCMan when S enterted to meet me accompanied by his Mamiiji (I wondered why they couldn't leave us alone, as if I would bite him). S was smiling and was quite pleasant, he asked me to finish my game, he was not in a hurry...I paused the game nevertheless.
But he was more pleasant than I had thought.
Suddenly all my anger for being called to Rourkela to just meet a guy whom I could have easily met in Bangalore, for which I even had to fight with my manager, was fast vanishing. Looked like it was worth it. I liked the interest he showed in my job and discussed about his own. He was joking on how people think he had a lot of savings since he frequently visits the US, but in reality he spent more abroad and had hardly anything to be remotely called as savings. We spoke about Mumbai, Bangalore, US, his job, mine, our weekend activities, java and business. Not a bit of arrogance, not a bit of ego...or so I thought.

I was impressed to say the least. But as they say, people have many faces.

We kept waiting for their reply for almost a week. And finally when my father called, S's Mum said that they were fine with the alliance but he wanted to meet a few more girls since it seems I was the first girl he had met. I thought that was fair enough though, but I believe his parents were kinda forcing him into it. But eventually they agreed and set up a date for the engagement. I kept waiting for S to call me or mail me but it didn't happen. I was told that his family had also started shopping for the engagement, buying me jwelleries and stuff. But I couldn't get married to him just like that. I had a break up a couple of months ago and I would want my would be husband to know about it, there were a a lot of things we need to discuss which would couldn't have in our first meeting and while his Mamiiji was around...but he never called.
I raised a concern to my parents, but my Father believed that its the sign of a no-nonsense kinda guy...what the hell !!! Nobodody spoke to me...not him, not his parents.

With more updates being fed to me about the arrangements being made for the engagement day, I was getting desperate with each passing day. Its like marrying a complete stranger...I couldn't do that. I asked my Mum to get his number from his parents...but she thought it would be outrageous. There was nothing that i could do.
Bhai came yo my rescue when he said that he hadn't met the guy to whom his sister is getting engaged to, so he wanted to speak to S over the phone. My Mum called up S's Mom to get his number, to which his Mum said that S is not willing to speak to us. It seems he had mentioned that he didn't wish to speak to anybody in my family before the wedding. Since my Mum insisted, she said she would check with her son and let us know.
I could now smell a terribly smelling fish...and so did my Mum.

When she gave the no. of S and a suitable time to call him (as if he were Shahrukh Khan), my Mum took it on her to call him before Bhai does. S spoke to my Mum in his usual pleasant way, but soon after they hung up, his Mum called up accusing us of tricking them to get S's no. and warned us never to call S again. My Mum was agast but decided to stay calm till my Dad returns home. When Dad got to know, he was furious. He immediately called off the engagement making it clear to their family that he doesn't wish to push his only daughter into a well.
They later came back to make amends but my Dad found it difficult to trust them again.

I had had enough by then and asked Mum to leave me alone for a while. Meeting another guy was the last I could ask for.

Hopelessness continues...

The Pizza delivery boy is at the door

Db : Please get the Pizza
Me : Ok
Db : And Pay him too.
Me : **Stares** Okay.

We finish the pizza.

Db: Feel like having an icecream
Me : So get it
Db : You get it na plzzz. Its just around the corner. Take the bike.
Me : Don't you think such requests are normally made by kids to their fathers or by a wife to her husband. Thoda ulta nahin hai!!!
Db : That's okay...but you are my smart, independent 20th century wife.
Me : But who wears the pants in the house???
Db : **Starting at my shorts** Your pants are shorter than mine.
Me : Whatever!!!
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Sipping a fresh lime soda outside Lifestyle in the Oasis mall, after buying 3 trousers in the SALE...

Me : **getting so romantic** Shopping to heart's content, having a refreshing lime soda in such an amazing weather and having you beside me. Aur kya chaiye life mein!!! (What else do you need in life)
Db : Salt...more salt
Me : What???
Db : I need more salt in my drink.
Me : @$@#%#%#%
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The Groom Hunt Part IV

And you thought the series was over !!!
Well...continuing....

If all this makes you feel that I had a very stringent criteria for the men, that ain't true. All I wanted is somebody who is sensible and would have no problems with me continuing with my job. But I had no idea that it was such a difficult combination to find.

With the kind of values I was brought up with, the fact that my father brought me up at par with my brother and I have always been treated equally with men was not helping much. Also my paycheck being heavier than that of most men that I met was also not helping, a convent educated Oriya girl who wants to work post marriage was a no-no for most Oriya men. Also my ever increasing weight...these things matter in the arranged market dukaan you see. Though I hold no malice for people who rejected me for being overweight, good for them because ever since the graph has only gone upwards...so anybody who would have married me hoping I could turn slimmer would have been terribly disappointed.
And the irony is, despite of the fact that most guys I met seemed samples to me, I rejected none of them. All of them either rejected me or had me as a backup plan.

I met K through a college friend, K was his lead in his project. K was interested in me when he saw my picture in my friend's album, but initially I wasn't too interested since he was absolutely bald. Later, after a few months, after getting to know a few more things about him, I approached my friend saying I was interested. We chatted a couple of times, and I found him pretty interersting. He was coming down to Bangalore to meet his friends, and we thought we could meet up as well...it was going somewhere. But the very day he was flying to Bangalore, I found out that he was the classmate of my ex, and actually they were pretty good friends.
Complications was the last thing I wanted in my relationship, so I had to call this off. Guilty as charged, I will forever be under the guilt of the wrongdoing. Worse, I couldn't even tell him the reason why I was calling this off...for a stupid ego trip that I didn't want him to know I was earlier dumped by his friend and nor did I wanted my ex to know I was contemplating marraige with his friend.
Anyhow, the loss was mine...he was a great guy.

I met another guy at the Bhubaneswar airport; his father was way smarter than the guy in question. His father was also pretty keen on the alliance.
After the meeting, his father called up mine to say he kinda liked me a lot but it seems his son finds me too smart for his taste...because I turned up in jeans to meet him and not saree or a salwaar kameez at least. Though I like his honesty, at least he didn't site petty excuses like she isn't fair or tall enough or overweight.

But certainly this arranged marriage business was getting more difficult and humiliating.

Mera TV kharab ho gaya

My TV isn't working. This is the same TV that I had got 4 years back with my hard earned money, giving my blood, sweat and tears. How proud I felt when I could buy one with my own money. But the same souvenir of my independence and self sufficiency has finally dumped me.

The initial signs were showing up when Db was in Australia last month. It would suddenly go all dumb, and showed only pictures and played no sound...but then, like a mischevious kid I would hit it once hard on its head and it would come to its senses. The symptoms went serious when even the slap on the head stopped working and you needed to reboot the TV to get its audio working.

But since last night that has stopped working too.

Db is a happy man now since he hates TV and the small and old portable TV in the bedroom or youtube easily provides him the news and stock updates.

I can manage for a while with the portable TV or by playing the sound on the portable TV and watching the pictures in the drawing room TV (The TV in the bedroom is smaller and of not that great picture quality...and yes I am that desperate), but I need a replacement for the drawing room TV ASAP.

The trip to Goa Part II - Terra Paraiso

Terra Paraiso is the name of the resort we were put up with in North Goa.

Though staying there was more of an impulsive and desperate measure. Our stay at the holiday in was planned for only three days, the original plan was to move to the North and find a good resort near the Calungute beach. But since I could hardly enjoy the Holiday inn due to the complexities that feminism brings in, we were actually contemplating to extend our stay here. Finally, almost as an impulsive decision we decided to move out, and with no access to internet, we made a few calls to makemytrip, who promptly arranged the above mentioned resort for us.

But the decision was not so bad after all.




The Terra Paraiso is situated at the heart of north Goa, hardly 2 kms from the Calungute beach, and 6-7 kms from the Aguda fort and similar distance from a few more happening beaches around. The pool was amazing and ours again was a pool facing room which worked in a lot of ways. The rooms were way more spacious than ones in the Holiday Inn and Ah!! they had a jacuzzi too, but didn't find the jacuzzi effect anything out of the world. But the service was quite okayish and food was bad. Contrary to Holiday Inn, here we seemed to be one of the oldest couples. There were a few honeymoon couples around, who used to sit in the corner with candlelights during dinner time.


Though I found those candlelight dinners very chirkoot...but considering that they were just babies compared to us, may be they couldn't afford a grand one. Okay now...who am I kidding!!! Forget grand or chirkoot, I never got to have a candle light dinner myself, and before you starting poking your finger on to Db saying 'how mean!!!', it isn't his fault...I find all this too cheesy and mushy and Db already knows that a die-hard romantic is the last thing I am.

And there were a two such couples who were here for some fun...you know, college kids who are going around and want to catch some fun together without telling their parents. How did I identify them !!!???Come'on...these are the couples who you can find everywhere in the resort, trying to get close and cosy, since this after all is their chance they spent the money for...while they address each other as 'tu', clap and hug at the drop of a hat.


Here there were many people who were as underdressed as me, but we still have a problem here. Most of the girls had a wonderful figure to show off and were at least 3-5 years younger, and 2-3 sizes down to me, so I looked like an Auntie jiski jaawni dhalti hi nahin. Okay now, Db is tired...I'll stop cribbing.

Once we hired a bike there, life became simpler and far more enjoyable thereon. We visited many of the famous beaches in the days ahead and had really great time. All the beaches were
amazingly picturesque...more on them coming up in the next post. But I am still looking for the person who said Goa is a cheap shopping place...Bangalore is far more cheaper. or may be they sell things costlier during the off season. I have just got myself a few stolls and one bag.

Trip to Goa Part I - The Holiday Inn

A trip to Goa during the off season is not a really bad idea after all.
My vacation could be called a mixed bag. Considering that me and d Db are so different on our views on how a holiday ought to be, this holiday had something for both of us. We got ample of time without office and cool our heels while the last few days of the vacation we also managed to go around the place and visit a few places.

As we reached the Madgaon station, I was starting to feel terribly disappointed. It was raining badly and also because, for a place known to be a
major tourist attraction not just in India but worldwide, the Madgaon station was smelly like an armpit. It was also Bharat Bandh on the same day, and the idea of spending 12 hours in that smelly railway station was giving me goosebumps. But thankfully Holiday Inn decided to send us the pick up cab to the resort which they had initially denied because of the bandh. As we started cutting through the narrow roads towards the resort, my disappointment level was increasing by many folds. For a place which attracts many foreign tourists through out the year, I was expecting a more commercialized place. There were no rickshaws, no petrol pumps in the radius of 20 kms around, the roads were so narrow that it would make it difficult for two buses to cross each other, the town buses looked ancient...my Grandfather's village looked so much plush compared to this. Even Db's hometown Jeypore is also much more scenic than this, if marketed properly, it would do much better than Goa.

Such an over hyped place I thought...

The first three days of our vacation was pre booked at the Holiday Inn Resort in South Goa. It was raining cats and dogs when we reached there. The resort was nice, they had an amazing pool and a private beach. Our room was very cozy and comfortable and also pool facing...it was amazing to just sit in the balcony sipping your tea and watch the pool or the sea. The food was amazing, we had the buffet b'fast, lunch and dinner included in our package and we had a great time with the food that was served to us. With the food at the resort, I found my long lost taste of homemade curd...so much so that I am actually in the process of making it at home now.

I was earlier told by my friends that I would probably look terribly overdressed in Goa, since there would be many who would hardly be wearing anything at all. But we seemed to be the youngest couple in the resort (most of them were with one or two kids, or middle aged couples or corporates who had come for conferences) and with my shorts, I looked like the most under-dressed person there. I had got hardly anything from Bangalore that could remotely match up to the sarees and salwaar kameez or the full length jeans with long kurtas that other aunties were wearing there so I remained the most under-dressed person around.
Also, I was not keeping well (the regular women stuff)...and I was not expected to keep well for the next 3 days as well...so all I could do is watch people having fun from my balcony. Though it was not as bad as it sounds, but I could still do better by jumping into the pool or the beach. Though Db got his chance to have a quiet and relaxing holiday away from office, the fact that I was not enjoying didn't give him any pleasure.

So, on the second day of our vacation, we decided to hire a bike and check out the Palolem beach. I am still looking for the person who told us that the beach is just 20 kms away, since it was almost or more than 35 kms from our resort. And as luck would have it, the seemingly bright sunny day turned into a ghastly rainy one and we drenched ourselves on the way to the beach. Worse, the beach was lonely as a desert with only filthy dogs to give us some unwanted company. Disappointed to the core, we left the place in a few minutes. But the worse was yet to be...as we were returning back in the rainy afternoon, we lost our way and got a lot more wet and frustrated than we otherwise would have been. We reached our room by evening, and eventually decided to forget the beaches and enjoy our stay in the resort by using the internal facilities given here.


At the end of three days we had the option to either stretch our stay in the same resort for the next three days or move to North Goa. We chose the second option and booked another hotel from makemytrip for another resort in North Goa, near the Calungute beach. Then was the fear for the unknown when we checked out of the Holiday Inn and booked a cab to the north.

Luggage...I hate it !!!

When I was single, travelling home was not a teary affair for me unlike my other friends.

They would start preparing a month earlier by buying stuff for their family, piling them on the bed and not bothering to pack them into suitcases until the day of the journey comes...and the final result would be two pregnant looking suitcases for which hiring one coolie would look inhuman. On the contrary, I has something which looked like a schoolbag which I carried home. For a one week vaccation, It would have 3-4 T-shirts, my lens kit and may be a facewash, and some snack if I am being too generous. My roomies would look shocked each time(probably carrying more luggage than you need is a girly thing) and made sure they ask their parents to add to my luggage. So most of the time, my return trips were over burdened, my own luggage being just one fourth of the total luggage I'd be carrying.My worst ever experience was when one of my friend's Dad wanted me to carry a Rajai for his daughter to Bangalore. I showed him the size of my bag and he gave me this strange expression and offered me to give a bag too. But somehow I managed to wriggle out of carrying the Rajai.

The bottom line is I have always hated to carry luggage, I feel a huge luggage spoils the journey, half with the effort it takes to carry them and other half by worrying about it on the way.

But post marriage, the tables turned. Now each time I go to my in-laws place, I need on suitcase only for myself while Db has to make his own arrangements in another bag. For a one week vaccation, I need to carry five salwaar kammezes, a couple of sarees, bangles, gifts for the family and a teeny weeny makeup kit. Though my luggage is still far from looking like the pregnant bags of my friends, but they are still enough to irritate me.

Now this is a very novel feeling to me.
We are going for a week long holiday to Goa this week (yipeeeeeee!!!!). Thats one place I have always wanted to go. Also this is our first vaccation in 2.5 years of our marraige, I wouldn't call the Delhi trip as a holiday. I started my packing yesterday, and I have already packed eight Tees, two shorts,two slacks and two skirts and the bag is already half full while I still have a plenty of things to pack the essentials, the toileteries, my swim wear, my jeans, camera and need to leave some space for the shopping in Goa too.
Never felt so full.

BTW, we are staying in Goa for a whole 5 days and would be staying at the Holiday Inn. Howzzat!!!