About Kids...

Kids…I love them. But I think it’s just convenient to say I like kids when they are other people’s kids.

No…I am sure, people who have their own kids are happy to have them, but I feel having a kid is a huge responsibility or as Db would like to put it…the ROI (Return on Investment) is very bad.

I do want to have my own kids at some point in life (donno when though), but I am not sure if I can handle the responsibility it comes with. But there are times when I look at other people and feel that I could have done a thousand times better than them. As I told Db the same day, it’s been a while that I met a kid whom I found sweet.

We went for one of Db’s nephew’s 5th b’day party this week. Now, I come from a nuclear family, I have never got to seen so many kids together. Here there were too many kids, most of them seemed to have both working parents.
Now, I believe there is a very thin line between pampered and spoilt, mischievous and ill mannered. Like I feel, I am a pampered kid but I was never spoilt, mischievous but not ill mannered. I remember Bhai and me to be quite well behaved as kids.

These kids were spoilt to the extent that they refuse to speak Hindi or Oriya even with the elderly people in the family, yell at the guests whom they have never seen before ‘Ae…you get out of that sofa, I have no place to sit!!!’…while their parents watch and smile in silence ‘Awwwww my baby is cho chweet!!!’
The kids had all kinda firang names, who believe that speaking, yelling and swearing in English is kool. They refuse to listen to their own parents. Now, what will they grow up to…a confused generation, who would probably have an identity crisis.

I mean...I have nothing against speaking English or beahaving like firangs, but I have a problem when they say ‘I don’t speak my mother tongue’. Even my Oriya is not great, I was brought up in Rourkela, which had a more cosmopolitan culture, and also Oriya was not mandatory in our school then. We got to speak our mother tongue only at home, or within the family and relatives. Despite of the fact that my father is a renowned writer in Oriya literature, me and Bhai have only got a descent knowledge in Oriya. But that is not something we are proud of, nor are we shy to speak in our mother tongue. That kinda shows your upbringing.

I really don’t wanna have a kid and bring him up this way, so that he grows up to a confused individual, and unable to identify himself among any group, American or Indian. I want to bring him up so that he/she can adjust himself in any group, with family he can be as pleasant and charming...mischevous okay but not ill mannered, and yet can be at par with the kind of friends he mingles with.

My first blog from my new office

Now this is my first blog from my new office.

Being a bank, they have some real serious security procedures. Too many passwords…way too many. To set up the minimum no. of passwords to let me access the internal sites and internet took good one week. But my software installations are still on its way, so you see I haven’t got much to do.

Though I am yet to check out the code base, yet going by the technical documents given to me, the project is hardly any challenge. We used jdk 1.5 earlier (planning to upgrade to jdk 1.6 soon), hibernate and springs, and ajax and rich faces in my earlier project…but here they work with jdk 1.4 and JDBC…that’s it!!! So you see, technically its pulling me back to where I was 4 years back. Since this is the IT division of the bank, there isn’t any competition from other servicing companies. So people take a chill pill here.
So it’s not a good feeling at all…kills your enthusiasm.

I have to wake up at 6.45 every morning, contrary to my earlier schedule at 9 am. I have to walk to the bust stop, a 15 mins walk from home, two times a day. I can’t manage to sleep a blink on the way, in the bus. I reach home around 7-7.15 in the evening, saving hardly 2 hours compared to my earlier schedule.

So am I complaining???

No I am not.
Hmm…well let’s just say, not yet.
The reason being the team and the office. The office is the coolest I have ever worked in.
People reach here between 8.45-9.15 in the morning and leave at 5.45-6.15 in the evening.
It’s a good change to find non-frowning faces around.
The team is a bunch of mad caps (most of them), but an otherwise fun loving team.
The HR and Finance are very friendly, and the managers are friendly and enthusiastic.
The food in the IT mall is great…so I gotta watch my weight again.
I walk quite a lot all day, so might lose all that I gain at the IT mall.
The tea at office is very nice, and needs no coupons.
It’s nice to work in a carpeted office after a long time.
They have 13 holidays all though the year, my previous employer had only 9.
I have *Drums roll please* 32 leaves in a year, out of which 26 are mandatory, meaning they are not to be carried forward to the next year. With all my provious employers I had 18-20 leaves per year. Also getting the leaves approved was a huge pain in the neck. Here they are pretty flexible with the leave system.
I have a personal IP phone at my disposal, at all other places that I have worked earlier, 3-4 people used to share one phone.
I can carry my I-Pod inside which none of my previous employers allowed.
There are quite some short term onsite travels here, to Egypt, Paris, Russia among other places (yipeeeee!!).

So it’s kinda great, except for the everyday travel to office and the technology I am to work with. I will certainly try to find out some good projects around and see if I can get through them.

Second Happy Walla Anniversary...

Db: So you are a housewife now.
Me: Howzzat??? I am gonna start my new job on Monday.
Db: So what??? You are not on anybody’s payroll for the next two days, so that makes you jobless.
Me: But these two days are weekends.
Db: So what?? You are not paid for the next two days, so that makes you a housewife.
Me: Big deal!!! So what if I am a housewife for a few days.
Db: So behave like one.
Me: As in????
Db: Make me some good food, mere pair dabao, meri sewa karo.
Me: Huh!!!
Db: Nothing doing!!! For the next two days you have to behave like a housewife.
Me: Okay.
…Dal is getting so costly these days, and all Gobi’s in the market are damaged….what do I cook?? …My friend nam got amazing diamond studs last week, you haven’t given me a single piece of jewelry in last one year,
…The neighbors next door got a new Honda City, we don’t even own a car.
…Nam went to Srilanka for a vacation on this New Year, you haven’t taken me any where ever since our marriage.
Db: ??!!!!??
…. Your Mom called yesterday, wants me to visit the temple everyday, who has the time for all this. Grrrr!!!
…Your siblings are not doing well in their academics, lemme tell you, I am not going to take their responsibility.
…When are we going onsite?
…This house maid bugs me so much, get me a new one.
…Take me to a movie…Shahrukh Khan!!! I am bored…take me shopping.
…Why are you with your laptop, talk to me!!!
…Where are my Saas Bahu serials.
Db: Okay…I lose. Don’t you dare ever leave your job, work till you retire.
Me: **GRIN**
Let the madness never end. Happy Anniversary Love!!!

NB: Since this is my blog, I prefer to write about only those arguments that I happen to win, which again happens once in a blue moon. But my blog is my business…so Meri Marzi!!!

I'm calling it quits

Today is my last day at office
I had finished the farewell mail sending business late in the evening yesterday, so that my clients at US get a chance to respond back to me. My team held a small farewell get together for me, and they gave me a nice surprise, a huge TWEETY BIRD as a gift to me. So all z been well here.

But I am not feeling sad or guilty while I leave today.
Despite of the fact that my managers have been facing the music because of my resignation. My clients were extremely unhappy with my resignation, more so since another key member also resigned with me. It's also come up to the extend that my clients are reconsidering the contract they have with my employer.
My clients have been ever so sweet with me. I not for my employer, I do have some kinda camaraderie with my clients. My team here was very pleasant to work with. Less of team mates and more of friends. For sure, the best team I ever got to work with. That's one thing I am surely gonna miss.

But somehow it does not matter to me. Not anymore...
May be because I firmly believe they did deserve this, may be because life has taught me to be selfish...or may be I am just, plain and simple, happy about it.
I know that once I get my relieving letter in hand at 3.30 in the afternoon today, I am gonna run off in top gear, without even looking back once, even if calamity strikes. If tomorrow I have to join back here for some reason, I will think (1000 X 1000 X 1000 X 1000) to the power 1000 times before I do that.

Finally when I went to meet a few people before I left, they all greeted me with a congratulations first, and then an all the best...and I completely understand.

And right now I am just waiting for the clock to strike 3.30, so that I can just get over with it all. Monday I am starting with another company(yes!!! No break for me), hoping the management there wouldn't be as bad as here, and hope the team be as good as the one I had here.
And puhleeease gimme some simple work there, nothing too difficult, for which I have to stay too late at office.

And before I call it quits, I would like to say farewell to all those who I leave behind, in our national language अलविदा कमीनों !!!

Phir Mile Sur Mera Tumhara

I am sure for every person in his 20's and late 30's, Mile sur mera tumahara would be an iconic song. I remember, I grew up with it. Those were the days were hadn't heard of mobiles, cable TV, play stations or video games...all we had was a old colour TV with just one channel called Doordarshan, DD1.

Those were the days, when the celebrities were mysterious for us, there were no channels airing every single detail about the celebs. Unlike these days, when a (non-)actor is a star even before their first film is released (Deepika Padukone anyone!!!), those times we hardly go to see them out side the films they were a part of. So it was through the 'Mile Sur' and 'Baje sargam' kinda stuff where we got a glimpse of our favorite actors not trying to be somebody else but just themselves.

While I say this, I feel like a old granny. A feeling akin to when my Dad said that he started with a job which paid him 300 rupees a month, and he was called a genius for that.

Well...not deviating from the topic, when I first saw the 'Phir Mile Sur' on TV, I couldn't help but compare it to the old version of the same. Certainly, its a great idea, re making the iconic song with people from this generation who have made a mark in the society.
But I was terribly disappointed.

The remake looks more like a commercialized khichdi, very unlike the original which looked so genuine and had the heart in the right place. It more looks like a marathon of bollywood actors and non-actors (call them stars), again trying to be somebody, and not themselves.

Picture these:

- The length of the segment is annoyingly long, and the individual segments look very detached from each other, most of them looked very forced.

- Salman Khan sitting amidst variously disabled children, looks less up for a social cause and more for a Rupa Baniyan or Rin Supreme ad.

- Deepika-overhyped- Padukone, my first reaction when I saw her was, arre eske kapde kahhan hai (where are her clothes???). She stands with a reveling dress on a ramp like pose looks less talking about national integration and more like advertising champi with parachute hair oil, before shampooing with fiama di willis shampoo.

- Aamir Khan doing his Bum Bum Bole act yet again with a group of kids, looked like a total caricature.

- Sonu Nigam looks like he is straight out of a mental asylum. He is a good singer, no doubt, but he should avoid the forced koolness and acting like plague, as much as Himesh Reshammiya should do the same.

- Aishwarya-plastic-Rai, redoing her look-I-am-so-pretty act yet again, and Abhishek lurking behind her back in a consolation 3 seconds role for being the son and husband of a talented father and plastic beauty respectively. Wonder why Jaya Bachan was missed out, since the Bachans kind of expertise in making all occasions a family get together.

- Shahid Kapur has this I-am-a-rockstar-but-they-wont-let-me-dance look.

- Ranbir Kapoor in a pyjamas, looked like he is straight out of bed and hardly interested.

- Shahrukh with his ever constipated expression, stretching out his hands wide doing his typical Shahrukhanisms synonymic to saying 'My Name is Khan'.

- The Olympics winners Bindra, Virendra, had in a blink and you miss contribution.

- What's Kavita Krishnamurthy doing with her entire family??? Trying to give competition to the Bachans is it!!!

- Its all bollywood bollywood all the way, the sports icons were conveniently missed out. I would have loved to see veterans like Om Puri, Lata Mangeshkar (who were a part of the original version) and Naseeruddin Shah as well.

Terribly terribly disappointed. Bole toh akha memory ki watt laga dali.

Some old memories that I still visualize - I

A real long post on a few gems that I can clearly visualize from my past.

A real long post with a few censored stuff.

Sexy Sexy Sexy mujhe log bolen. It was sometime during my class 7th or 8th when this legendary song was released, which went into troubled waters due to the repeated usage of the word sexy. They later replaced the word with Baby which they believed was more milder.

During those days, we had just one smartie in our group...Lekha.

During the biology class I whispered to her

Me : Why did they ban the song?

Lekha : Because it had the word sexy in it. Its not a nice word you know.

Me : Why!!! What does it mean?

Lekha : You donno??? Sexy means somebody who shows off her sex.

Well!! Given today, I believe that was a very straightforward and smart definition of sexy that she gave. But back then my grey cells were underdeveloped.

Me : So, whats wrong in it. We wear skirts to show that we are females and the boys wear pants to show that they are males. So that makes us all sexy right!!!

She didn't reply anything, but somehow I vividly remember the expression on her face, half disbelief, half confused, half oh-you-dumbass and half well-you-have-a-point look on her face. PRICELESS!!!

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My maths sir at school was not very fond of me. I was a 80 percent scorer in all my subjects, except maths, wherein I always scored less than 60. I went on to believe that I am weak in maths, and decided to take tuitions from the sir who taught us Physics at school. When my tuition sir reviewed my maths terminal answer sheets, he found that I should have at least got 70. It turned out that the maths sir was liberal with marks for people who took tuitions from him, while he would treat the rest with an iron hand. When I confronted him, saying I deserved more marks, he shouted at me humiliating me infront of the whole class.

The next terminal,which was the last terminal of my 10th std, I failed maths with 38 marks.

I again showed my paper to my tuition sir, who believed i should have got at least 6o something in this paper. But I was scared to confront him. So my tuition sir decided to confront him all by himself.

I am not aware what happened that day. The next day was our last day at school, we had a 15 day holiday after which we had our ICSE board exams. My tuition sir called me to the staff room, he pulled out a notebook from my bag. On one of the pages, he wrote a 90 on it and put his signatures below. He gave the notebook to me and said, don't show me your face if you cant pull off more than this in the board exam. He left.

I scored a 92 in maths in the board exams which was the second highest in my school. And yes, I did show my face to him.

I still have the notebook with me, one of whose pages says a 90, signed by Mishra sir below it.

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During my hostel days, somebody would steal away our undergarments from the rope on the rooftop. Never did we hear a case when dupattas, jeans, t-shirts, handkerchiefs or skirts were stolen, it was just undergarments. Later we found out that the guys that stayed around our hostel (our hostel was inside the city) used to climb up to the roof top and steal away things.

During one of the late night gossips in our room,

Me : What kind of chindichors steal undergarments man!!! I mean at least steal better things to gift your girlfriends, what sense does it make to give them used underwear!!!

Others in the room : ROFL

Well!!! Now I know why guys would steal female undergarments.

Thinking aloud

Five things that would have bothered me if I hadn't resigned

1. My manager, either he would have killed me or I would have done the same to him.

2. My promotion was shelved. I am the only one in my team who did not get the promotion. And worst of all, despite of repeated reminders from my end, they made it out to be a careless mistake. On the day the promotions were announced, my manager actually came to me to ask how much hike I got.
Oops !!! It seems I missed to initiate your promotion. He said
What???????? who made you a manager!!!

3. The dissatisfaction in the team has been increasing exponentially because of lac of motivation from the management side. Its getting more and more difficult to get them to give their best at work.

4. PAISA!!! Duniya kya maange, money money!!! Well that could have been the fist item on the list.

5. I have been in this same project for more than 2.5 years, needed a change after all. If I would have asked my manager for a release, then please read back point no. 1

Five things that makes me happy for my resignation

1. PAISA again!!! I got a bhayanak hike. I have got coins glued on my eyes right now.

2. I don't get to see his face again...do I need to elaborate who is 'he'!!!

3. People who have got promotions, have hardly got an hike of 5-6% on an average. I mean that looks like some kind of charity given to them. And the best part is, my salary is still way higher than anybody else in the team. And still read point 1 again.

5. I have got my confidence back. The fact that I have got almost 3 offers already makes me want to pat my back myself.

I have another interview lined up in Db's company, TW. They have a unique recruitment procedure, a tough one at that. If I get through that, I will be on cloud nine.

So I Quit...

I quit my job this week, the very day I set my foot in Bangalore from my vacation. It was a little difficult since two more people also resigned with me on the same day with me, hence it certainly is a huge blow to my project.

Now my days are getting busier than ever. Conducting interviews to find our replacements. I am also trying to pull in some of my friends into the project. The times had been bad, and now that I have the power, I want to pull in some of my friends who have seen bad times in the last few months. I wish I could do something for Bhai though...**sigh**

So I would be on another payroll early next month. I am happy, will be happier if my friend gets through for my replacement coming Friday, and would be happiest if Bhai strikes gold.
God please gimme this news that we have been waiting for since months, I promise I wouldn't ask for anything else...ahem...at least for one year.

Grrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!

I thought I'd forgive him. I have just landed in Bangalore after a really great vacation, the after effect of which tends to calm me down.

I was just happy with the fact that I am resigning today, and will get rid of him soon...who else...mera manager!!! But he has to take panga with me.
A personal attack, a God Damn personal attack, with a mail CC'ed to the who's who of the project and the HR as well...subtlety blaming me of conspiring with my friends in the team to resign on the same day. Gawd!!! Do these people go through some managerial training at all before being thrown in to sit on our heads.

Dude!!! Blow fire as much as you would like to, you can't change the fact that 6 people have resigned from the team in last two days, and that's due to your arrogant behavior. Your ass is on fire now, go figure out how you are gonna explain the resignations.
I will have the last laugh.

Last day of my vaccatiom

I am writing from my Dad's desktop, from the city Rourkela while its freezing cold here, like 4-5 degrees and it literally feels what Jack said Rose, it feels like a thousand needles...no marks for guessing the movie.
Its just a simple twist of fate, lest I would have been in the train to Bangalore right now. But the train has got rescheduled, delaying it by 7 hours, which is now 4 in the morning. So you see I haven't got anything better to do.

Its been a good vaccation this time. The plot deal was done,met my in laws, went to Puri and the Jagannath Temple, had a blast at the new year carnival at the local club at Rourkela(an entire post coming up that shortly with elaborate pictures), caught up with an old friend...and most importantly had a great lazy time at home, chilling...yes literally. The house miraculously got cleaned, the clothes miraculously washed , the food was miraculously ready. Nothing like it **Yawn**!!!

Now Bangalore looks so far to me. I feel when I would reach Bangalore day after tomorrow, the city would have changed, the people would have changed, my company wouldn't recognize me any more, everything seems just so alien. All of a sudden, I almost feel like forgiving my manager...such is the effect of a good vaccation.

Well, as the reality strikes, I have a train to catch in 6 hours, I have to resign from office day after tomorrow, and as I had expected that my resignation is gonna trigger two more resignations, one is already pipelined one day after I resign. So lots of action awaiting me back an Bangalore...so gear up gal!!!

The Secret Santa

As a part of Christmas celebrations, we are having the game called Secret Santa at office.
Since this is the first time I am playing this game in 5 years of my career in the IT industry, I took my job a little too seriously. I have been gifting my devil once everyday, sometimes twice as well.
The first day, I gave him a bottle of Appy Fizz, which got warm by the time he discovered it...arghhhhh!!!, so I gave him another can of chilled Diet Coke post lunch.
The next day I gifted him a garland, which had various snacks items.
Today I gave him some 20 lollipops.
And, I am thinking of something really wacky for tomorrow, since its the last day.

But you know, you should pass on the kindness. I have been receiving all boring gifts a pen, a chocolate bar...that's it!!!
Come on now!!! Looks like I am the only person who likes to have some fun!!!

Coming to other updates, my manager has finally given in to my leave request. But it has certainly triggered a cold war between us. I also communicated to them my intention of putting down my papers soon after I return from my vacation, but looks like he hasn't taken me seriously since he hasn't started looking for my replacement yet. Looks like my wild imagination is finally going to come true. **grin**
I know, my resignation is gonna trigger two more resignations from the team of six, and then the project is gonna fall like a pack of cards. But I couldn't have been here for another month, this manager is driving me insane.
Anyhoo, I have done my bit by warning them beforehand and for the rest, I couldn't care less...and over these years I have learnt to be selfish and mind my own business. I prefer giving tension to others than taking it myself.
So most certainly, this new job opportunity is the best gift Santa could have given me this Christmas.

Looking forward to the vacation. Will go to Bhubaneswar for the plot deal, will meet my parents and in laws, will meet Db's friend who hitherto I have met only in the web cam, will visit the Puri Jagannath Temple(its been a while I went there), will visit Rourkela, probably for the last time, since Dad will permanently shift to Bhubaneswar after his retirement in late 2010.
Quite a happening vacation this one would be.

Kung Pao Paneer

As much for my love for cooking, I realized I do not have a single recipe on my blog
Inspired by a few more bloggers on the blog world, I choose to write a recipe on my blog, the one I tried this morning.

I love the kung pao chicken at Magnolia, served with Chicken Malaysian flat noodles. So much so that I order the same each time I visit the place. I tried looking up the recipe for the same sometime last year and didn't find anything interesting. While looking for the same recipe last night, I came across quite some blogs and sites which provided the needful.

So I followed this recipe, replacing the chicken with paneer (since Db does never allow me to cook chicken at home, he has his own reasons to believe that cooking chicken is a laborious task which he wouldn't like me to do), replaced the sesame oil with the normal vegetable oil and skipping the rice wine or dry sherry altogether.
The rest of the procedure remaining the same.

For my Kung pao paneer, I rate it 9/10 on looks, and 6.5/10 on taste. I can sure give Magnolia a run for its money after I try the recipe a few more times to gain expertise on the same.

Will post a pic on my wonderful Kung pao once I reach home from office. Here at office, we are deprived of all worldly things including the camera and the USB cables.

My Home Sweet Home - I

So didn't I tell you we (me and Db) are buying a plot in Bhubaneswar. Dad arranged this 2000sqft plot for us. We pay a whooping 2 lahks in 1week and the rest of the money in a year's time and by the end of next year, its oursssssssssss.
Now I know its too early and Db is gonna bang his head saying a SATYANASH to himself when he finds this on my blog, but can you blame me for my excitement !!!

Here is the draft version of my house plan.

Ground Floor. Please ignore the water mark and click to enlarge.


First Floor Floor. Click to enlarge.


And I have already put up the print out on my cubicle. Hee Hee
**Grin**
Will keep the blog updated with more news on the same.
**Grin Grin Grin** again.

I can do with some encouragement

I am quite sleepy today.
Not just today, I have been quite sleepy during the daytime everyday since last three days.

I have been getting up at 7 in the morning since last three days...my usual timing being 9 in the morning three days before.
After trying everything I could to lose weight (except exercising and pampering my taste buds), I finally gave up to the slimming centers. I couldn't try harder or wait any longer...what if the world is actually coming to an end in 2012, I wanna die pretty or at least look good during the last days of my life ;) .
And the first phrase of encouragement came my way on the very first day of my visit to the center.

On the Saturday morning, I reached the center at dot 7.30. There weren't many people, means the recession is quite done with. I was wearing grey tracks with a black T-shirt. There was another girl (say Lolitha) who was sharing the room with me. She was quite overweight and hardly five feet tall, she wore a pink printed nighty which made her look heavier and shorter.

Lolitha : You are here for the size zero program?
What??? Did she really say that. I mean...I have never been size zero in my entire life.
Me : No, that's too much of an optimistic thought. I need to shed quite some weight before I reach even close to thinking of being size zero.
Lolitha : Really!!! Doesn't look like you need a slimming center.
Me : Trust me I do. I am sure black has more slimming effect that I thought it did.
Lolitha : Oh May be then.
She turned away with the people-have-so-much-money to-spare look.

Not that I mind, its not often(read ever) that I get the envy of a woman for my weight or lack of it.

2012

have finally caught the most anticipated movie of the year, 2012 this Sunday.
Frankly, I enjoyed the special effects more than the storyline which actually wasn't there. The special effects were spectacular to say the least. My favorites were the chases and the Tsunami sequence.
By the second half I had already started a headache, even the movie didn't seem logically fool proof to me. Time and again, I would look up to Db with some logical pothole...

'Don't look for logic now. Just enjoy the special effects'
Me : 'Isn't it supposed to be a hollywood flick, I am supposed to ask questions.'

Well...I do not intend to make this post a review on the film. I intend to jot down a few things I would like to do if I happen to know that the world is coming to an end we do not have a chance, of course...we are no Brangelina the world would like to preserve.So here is my list:

Now that I wouldn't need the money I have saved in two years, I would buy Dad the Ford Icon he always wished he had.
Now that I wouldn't have to repay the bank, I will buy a Honda City for myself...eeks!!! Sorry Dad.**wink**.
I would go abroad, once, even if its for a day.
I will have Tandoori Chicken in every single meal of my life.
I will finally give in to slimming tablets, lose at least 10-12 kgs, and wear all skimpy and designer dresses and click lotssssssss of pics.
I would tell Bhai that no matter what, he has always been my hero.
I would call up H to say sorry and tell her that I have always missed her all these years.
I'd like meet my ex once and Thank him for breaking up with me.
and last but not the least...
I'd barge into my managers cubicle slap him across his face, multiple times similar to the exaggerated effects of the saas bahu serials. and run for my life soon after.

Please God!!!

Just one this thing I want so badly, not for myself but for others who matter to me.
Please, if you believe I have done anything in life, which will pass as a good deed, please let me have this.
It's time like these that my faith on you is proved yet again to myself, when something wrong happens only to make way for something far better than what has been lost. But enough wrong has happened already, its time he finds the light at the end of the tunnel. Please show him the light, please let it be the end of the dark tunnel.

Please let it be the end of his ordeal.

Update 16th Nov:
Looks like He isn't listening...
I do not have a problem with you keen on testing someone's patience and will power, I have a problem when you show light to someone and take it back, plunging them into a bigger darkness of hopelessness.
He might not be your favorite child, but by doing this, for sure, you aren't getting into any good books either.

While the Search is on...

Without getting into the name of the company, which might or might not land me in trouble, I will come straight to the happenings of the day.

Last Saturday, I went for an interview to Whitfield, which, I was told a scheduled one. But when I reached there on the scheduled time, there were quite some people waiting for their turn for the online test. I was kept waiting for almost 3 hours, while people who came after me finished and left as well. Despite my repeated reminders to acknowledge my presence, nothing really happened. At the end of three hours I left a message on the desk for the HR and left.

Now, two days back, I get a call from the Senior HR of the company, apologizing for the inconvenience and asking me to come for the interview on the coming weekend. It didn't match since I had already committed to other interviews on weekend and Whitefield is too far to go on a weekday and come to office after that. They were willing o send me a cab to pick me up from my doorstep and then drop me back to my office after the procedure was done. I wondered what I had done to deserve this (may be the message I left with the receptionist didn't go well with the HRs) , but I accepted the offer. My only concern was what if I flunk in the first round itself and they believe I am an empty vessel which sounds too much. The harm could be many degrees ranging from losing my face, being blacklisted from their company for ever to confiscate the cab and send me back on my own, while I wasn't sure of my way back nor the conveyance.

I woke up at 6.30 this morning for the cab, I reached the Salarpuria Tech park before 8. It felt great, some hundred acres of land, with buildings each one better than the other, huge lawns, broad roads without a speck of dust anywhere, a lone coffee day standing in the middle of the road...looked like I had left civilization far behind. Not that I have never been to a tech park, but never so early. They look awesome early in the morning, quiet and serene. The HR hadn't arrived by then...so waited till 8.30.The online test went till 9.30 and as I feared, I flunked. There were quite some questions on EJB, which is not my forte...but without any unconvincing excuses, let me just face it...I flunked.
Lost my face, yes. Blacklisted from the company for life, I donno. But they certainly didn't confiscate the cab. I called the driver, he said he would take a few moments to come down since he went home. I decided to wait, any way it was too early for office, I had to reach only by 11.30. I looked around, and boiled down to the coffee day on the middle of the road.

I halted there for a corn-spinach sandwich and a Masala tea. While he prepared the same, I took a seat and looked around.
The weather was just perfect, to sit in an open air coffee day , it was cool and windy, I put on my jacket. People had started coming now, young girls, who were probably late because of the time they took to decide what they'd wear, were running to reach before their managers. Young men, walking lazily, I couldn't decide if they were sleeping while walking or walking while sleeping, they needed a coffee urgently. Older men, some in suits and tie, walking in a group were probably saving time by having the meetings on the way.
I felt the vacuum in our lifes...
When I was young my Dad said, work hard for your 10th grades and get into a good college, life is easy after that,nobody studies in college. When I was in college, he said, work hard to get an engineering seat in a good college, life is cake walk after that,nobody studies in college. When in engineering college, he said, work hard for your engineering percentage, land up in a good job, life is easy after that(Now I know, how smart he was, and how he manages his huge team in the plant he works in). I am still waiting for that easy life. I am, touchwood, doing quite well in this rat race, but life still isn't half as easy. Then, the board exams were my biggest concerns, looked like an herculean job to me...now its something else, and tomorrow it would be again something new. It never stops. I feel the urge to ask my Dad, when would I finally get the time to be relaxed, but I know even he doesn't have the answer. He is gonna retire in a year's time, and he still hasn't found his peace.
I believe, this is how God makes his presence felt to us. I am not a believer nor am I an atheist. I believe in a superpower but do not believe in tradition, religion and rituals. But, there is certainly somebody, something out there who balances my life and yours. I look at Bhai's plight today and I am positive his ordeal is gonna end soon, because I believe he has learnt the lesson God wanted to teach him.

It had started drizzling then, my tea was over and the thoughts going round my mind were exhausted. I called the cab driver, he said he's stuck in a jam and would take another fifteen minutes. I pulled out the book in my bag, Chetan Bhagat's: 2 states. It started good, dragged in between but now it was getting interesting.

In a few minutes the cab was there. I boarded the cab which dropped me till the office gate. I thanked the driver and approached the gate. I held my access card in my hand while I looked at the old building...I wondered if Akbar would have walled up Anarkali in this building. The campus if any, was occupied with the vehicles that came along the employees. I felt like I have landed from the US straight into Jhumri Talaiya.
As I entered, the security guard stops me with an open palm.
'Maa'm you are breaking policies, please wear the access card round your neck before we raise a security incident against you.'

Sigh!!!...Welcome to reality!!!

One pakau weekend

A weekend no so great.
I went for an interview to Whitefield which did not happen. They kept me waiting at the reception with a bottle of coke, cookies and chips at my disposal. I lasted in the reception only till the snacks did last. After the end of two hours, soon after the coke bottle was empty and the chips and cookies exhausted, I left in a fury asking the HR to call me later when they can scheule my interview. Life ke teen ghante waste ho gaye!!!

I had been of the impression that HR is one of the coolest job in IT. Most of them are babes or dudes, with no technical work, no clients...must be damn kool. But this notion is changing too fast.
Last week we had this mass drive, where I was a part of the interview panel.This lady HR was almost in tears, since she couldn't handle the pressure. Even today, even I blasted on the HR, when she kept me waiting for more than two hours...while she wouldn't get me another bottle of coke as well, I might have considered waiting for a while otherwise.

Among all this, what gives me a fits attack is, I have an interview scheduled with Adobe on tuesday. I asked Db's friend to refer me there...what I didn't realize is, they would gimme a call the same day to appear for the interview process the next day...
I am not prepared man! Atleast not for the written test on datastructures, algorithms and operating systems. I mean these topics are for the kids (read freshers)...for me, the names just seem to ring a bell.
Luckily I was able to buy some time. Wish me luck people, this one matters to me.

Watched the movie 'Sahib Biwi aur Ghulam', an old bollywood classic. This one and a few more old movies were ordered by Db online from the Moserbaer website.

Its two in the night now, and I feel dog tired due to this long day. Must go to sleep now, planning to prepare tomorrow for the kids stuff for the Adobe interview.
Uwaaan Uwaannn!!!

No title as of now

Its going to be a total random post with no head or tail...you have been warned!!!

I am writing this blog because I have nothing better to do.
Not that I do not have work, I have this screwed up code which I need to fix in the next half an hour, I have this sql query which I need to optimize since it takes ages to just bring up just 500 rows of data. Also, I have this offer letter which I might consider if they 'give me an offer I can't refuse'...but when I said the same to them, they never got back to me...which in words, means TEL LENE JAA!!!
And while I still have to bear my manager's face and my Dad calls me to share his concerns on Bhai's plight and on the other hand talks about his wish of gifting me and Db a 2400 sqft land in Bhubaneswar by taking a loan from his provident fund, I almost feel like booking myself a bed in the Ranchi Mental Hospital ASAP...I belong there.

Here, in this world, things happen too quickly sometimes. And at other times, if feels like Vajpayee spoke at lightning speed as compared to the movement of events in your life.
Things aren't changing for me. They are pretty much the same...same worries, same concerns, same project, same manager and the same code, same husband...ahem...err!!! I mean nothing new in my married life(marriage if not a full stop, a comma it certainly is).
*yawn*

Db says I am a champion in finding reasons to get worried about.
When I am not worrying about my family, my weight, office, cleaning my house and cupboards, chasing off the cockroaches or why we do not have a swimming pool in our apartment among other things, I am can still manage to be worried about why I can't find a title for this post.

When at college, and among the minimal few of the junta who were not-hooked-not-committed, I believed that expecting someone to be with me for life scores a perfect ten on the optimism meter.
Back then, and now I still believe that I am not the girl of his dreams for a man.
Since, I was and still am higher on testosterone and lower on progesterone...and also, I never needed a man in my life just for the heck of it, or because everybody had one.
Guys from college didn't approach me since they loved their life...guys outside college hardly tried, since they believed this option must have been closed by now (I was quite a babe then...WAS, PAST TENSE. I wore a huge cross round my neck, a skull on my index finger and an iron chain round one of my ankles...pretty bold going by Oriya standards. Db would have fainted if he would have managed to get a glimpse of me then).

I believe there are three kinda girls. One, you fall for on the first sight, second kinds are the ones who grow on you slowly and third a the kinds you wouldn't like to touch with a barge pole. I belong to the third category.

I seriously think, Db deserves some gallantry award for jhelofying me for almost two years now and more so considering the anticipation for the coming years...

I donno what I am writing. My thought process is going haywire because I am what...yes, that's right, worried.
If you have reached this far you are either as vella as me, or a very brave reader.
In either of the case, Thanks for hearing me out (I am choking).

So here comes the first offer!!!

So here it is.
After appearing for some 4-5 interviews I have finally, DRUMS ROLL PLEASE, managed to pull an offer from the Societe Generale Global Solutions Center.

But true to my Gemini self, I am darned confused.
I wanted to switch from my current employer, since I wanted a job which doesn't have such stringent policies, next to impossible goal sheets for the appraisal process, gives me an option for work from home and last but not the least, a dhin chak package.
With this new offer, I have got nothing matching my needs, except for a better package.
And, they want me to join in a months time.
I am in a fix. :(
Okay...did I forget to mention my manager, my blood pressure shoots up every time I see his face.

I know I hate my manager so much that I can put down my papers right now just to get back at him.
I can already visualize when I barge into his cabin and say "The words".

I would like to quit my job. So I would like to start the 1 month notice period starting today, and since I have 20 days of earned leaves left, I would like them to be adjusted to my notice period. In short, I am leaving in 2 weeks time...

There is this pregnant silence when we both look into each others eye and neither of us know what to say (does it sound romantic???). Also, I imagine myself ducking behind the chair, just missing the file hurled at me.

But Alas!!! This is just going to be a figment of my imagination as of now...since I do no hate him as much as I love my career. I hope this offer was exciting enough to make my imaginations to reality, I would have loved to see the expression on my managers face when I broke the news to him.
But alas this sadist pleasure has to wait as of now.

I am happy with the offer letter though. I can certainly do with some confidence of having an offer letter from a leading banking firm.
Hope some good offers come my way soon.