It was all triggered by Facebook.
I was looking at the profile of some of my ex-suitors, who had rejected me during my search for a groom...and I was affected by them all having flashed pictures with their pretty wife and lovely kids. God bless them all, but I wished God had started with me. Sigh!!!
I am not sure which part of my upbringing or my past experiences has got me this inferiority complex, I do seriously lac in the self-confidence department. Somewhere deep within, I know I am better than the most in scale of attitude, aptitude and looks, I earn more than most men of my age. However, I have always had the 'impostor syndrome'.
Looking at the happy families faces, I wondered if any of these ex-suitors met me today, they would thank their stars that they were wise enough to give me a pass.
Seriously....seriously!!!???
If somebody else would have told me that, I would have given them a good piece of my mind. The fact that not being able to have children does not make me any less a woman and I would not allow anybody think otherwise. Db has never lost an ounce of love or respect for me due to this incapability. Then how dare I think something like that. What does that make me??
It took me two days to kick myself and realize that if I do not learn to respect myself, nobody ever will. Yes, it certainly is an disadvantage, but that's not all that I have got to offer. I bring in a lot to the table despite that. I am an equal and nobody has the right to make me feel otherwise, not even me.
And yes, every single person who let me go, did miss something and someone very special.
People do not love me because I am special, on the contrary I am special because I am loved and cared for despite my shortcomings...and that's saying something. I must have done something right.
One of my close friend once mentioned that I am a pseudo feminist...may be I am. But I would make a conscious effort to love and respect myself more than ever, because I am indeed worth it.
And for everything else, there is always hope...
I was looking at the profile of some of my ex-suitors, who had rejected me during my search for a groom...and I was affected by them all having flashed pictures with their pretty wife and lovely kids. God bless them all, but I wished God had started with me. Sigh!!!
I am not sure which part of my upbringing or my past experiences has got me this inferiority complex, I do seriously lac in the self-confidence department. Somewhere deep within, I know I am better than the most in scale of attitude, aptitude and looks, I earn more than most men of my age. However, I have always had the 'impostor syndrome'.
Looking at the happy families faces, I wondered if any of these ex-suitors met me today, they would thank their stars that they were wise enough to give me a pass.
Seriously....seriously!!!???
If somebody else would have told me that, I would have given them a good piece of my mind. The fact that not being able to have children does not make me any less a woman and I would not allow anybody think otherwise. Db has never lost an ounce of love or respect for me due to this incapability. Then how dare I think something like that. What does that make me??
It took me two days to kick myself and realize that if I do not learn to respect myself, nobody ever will. Yes, it certainly is an disadvantage, but that's not all that I have got to offer. I bring in a lot to the table despite that. I am an equal and nobody has the right to make me feel otherwise, not even me.
And yes, every single person who let me go, did miss something and someone very special.
People do not love me because I am special, on the contrary I am special because I am loved and cared for despite my shortcomings...and that's saying something. I must have done something right.
One of my close friend once mentioned that I am a pseudo feminist...may be I am. But I would make a conscious effort to love and respect myself more than ever, because I am indeed worth it.
And for everything else, there is always hope...
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