I read this quote somewhere
If women aspire to be equal to men, they are not ambitious enough.
I have always been a staunch believer in equality of the sexes. I firmly believe that men and women are equals. Whether at school or workplace, I have always competed with one and all, irrespective of their gender. But this year 2013 has been an eye opener.
I have been jolted out of my illusions and shown me exactly where I belong.
I have always been a very bankable resource all my carrier. And suddenly, I see people losing faith in me, why just others even I seem to have lost faith in myself. Due to the pregnancy gone wrong, I took quite some unplanned leaves, and worse, I again had to take more of the same when I went through the surgery. I almost lost my job because I wasn't a dependable resource any more. And I still feel the heat of the screwed pregnancy every month. A week every month I am unable to give my 100% at work, and this is just the beginning. Soon, I would plan for another pregnancy, I would have the pregnancy period, then maternity leave and eventually the never ending cycle of baby care, picking the kid from day care, school and etc. etc. etc.
The career would have gone for a toss.
Then how are men and women equal !!? How can I have the chance of having a equally flourishing career as a man!
A man can get the best of both, a great career and a grow a family at the same time, a woman can't.
I am not saying that that having a family isn't important, I am just saying that men and women are not equal. Because for a woman to be as equal as a man she has to make sacrifices, not very pleasant ones.
I have a friend, who had a miscarriage this year during her fifth month of pregnancy. She was on a 3 months medical leave. When she joined back she realized that her promotion was shelved because of her absence from work. She was furious, she was adamant that it was harassment.
I differ.
For whatever reason, she was absent from work for 3 months, the previous 5 months she wouldn't have given her 100% because she was carrying. Very obviously, the promotion will be given to some one who had done great work and not just on seniority basis. So her losing on her promotion is not unfair. If a man would have met with and accident and he'd have been on medical leave for 3 months, the management would have probably done the same to him.
So, I don't blame the management. But can I blame her for her frustration on losing out on her promotion? She lost her baby, and losing out on her career opportunities is adding to her woes.
In my previous project, my manager went through a tough time when one of the key resource went on a unplanned leave for a couple of weeks because it was her early pregnancy period. I have enough example of ladies who have to leave office at square 6 even if lightning strikes, because they have to pick up the baby from the day care.
So who is to blame??? As women employees, we expect to be treated as equals, but very obviously after a certain years women are bound to have these kind of issues. It's not unfair on the part of a manager if he does not treat his women resources as bankable as the men. But then what about us, who'd give us jobs in that case. Are we supposed to stay back home and forget our jobs and careers !!
A lady in my painting workshop suggested that I better set my expectations straight. She says that after a couple of years your career will go downhill. The sooner you accept it, better for you. If you think you can have the best of both worlds, a great career and a great family, you are in for a shock.
I am afraid, she is right.
No sire...Men and women are definitely not equal...and this realization hurts!!!
If women aspire to be equal to men, they are not ambitious enough.
I have always been a staunch believer in equality of the sexes. I firmly believe that men and women are equals. Whether at school or workplace, I have always competed with one and all, irrespective of their gender. But this year 2013 has been an eye opener.
I have been jolted out of my illusions and shown me exactly where I belong.
I have always been a very bankable resource all my carrier. And suddenly, I see people losing faith in me, why just others even I seem to have lost faith in myself. Due to the pregnancy gone wrong, I took quite some unplanned leaves, and worse, I again had to take more of the same when I went through the surgery. I almost lost my job because I wasn't a dependable resource any more. And I still feel the heat of the screwed pregnancy every month. A week every month I am unable to give my 100% at work, and this is just the beginning. Soon, I would plan for another pregnancy, I would have the pregnancy period, then maternity leave and eventually the never ending cycle of baby care, picking the kid from day care, school and etc. etc. etc.
The career would have gone for a toss.
Then how are men and women equal !!? How can I have the chance of having a equally flourishing career as a man!
A man can get the best of both, a great career and a grow a family at the same time, a woman can't.
I am not saying that that having a family isn't important, I am just saying that men and women are not equal. Because for a woman to be as equal as a man she has to make sacrifices, not very pleasant ones.
I have a friend, who had a miscarriage this year during her fifth month of pregnancy. She was on a 3 months medical leave. When she joined back she realized that her promotion was shelved because of her absence from work. She was furious, she was adamant that it was harassment.
I differ.
For whatever reason, she was absent from work for 3 months, the previous 5 months she wouldn't have given her 100% because she was carrying. Very obviously, the promotion will be given to some one who had done great work and not just on seniority basis. So her losing on her promotion is not unfair. If a man would have met with and accident and he'd have been on medical leave for 3 months, the management would have probably done the same to him.
So, I don't blame the management. But can I blame her for her frustration on losing out on her promotion? She lost her baby, and losing out on her career opportunities is adding to her woes.
In my previous project, my manager went through a tough time when one of the key resource went on a unplanned leave for a couple of weeks because it was her early pregnancy period. I have enough example of ladies who have to leave office at square 6 even if lightning strikes, because they have to pick up the baby from the day care.
So who is to blame??? As women employees, we expect to be treated as equals, but very obviously after a certain years women are bound to have these kind of issues. It's not unfair on the part of a manager if he does not treat his women resources as bankable as the men. But then what about us, who'd give us jobs in that case. Are we supposed to stay back home and forget our jobs and careers !!
A lady in my painting workshop suggested that I better set my expectations straight. She says that after a couple of years your career will go downhill. The sooner you accept it, better for you. If you think you can have the best of both worlds, a great career and a great family, you are in for a shock.
I am afraid, she is right.
No sire...Men and women are definitely not equal...and this realization hurts!!!
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