Please God!!!

Just one this thing I want so badly, not for myself but for others who matter to me.
Please, if you believe I have done anything in life, which will pass as a good deed, please let me have this.
It's time like these that my faith on you is proved yet again to myself, when something wrong happens only to make way for something far better than what has been lost. But enough wrong has happened already, its time he finds the light at the end of the tunnel. Please show him the light, please let it be the end of the dark tunnel.

Please let it be the end of his ordeal.

While the Search is on...

Without getting into the name of the company, which might or might not land me in trouble, I will come straight to the happenings of the day.

Last Saturday, I went for an interview to Whitfield, which, I was told a scheduled one. But when I reached there on the scheduled time, there were quite some people waiting for their turn for the online test. I was kept waiting for almost 3 hours, while people who came after me finished and left as well. Despite my repeated reminders to acknowledge my presence, nothing really happened. At the end of three hours I left a message on the desk for the HR and left.

Now, two days back, I get a call from the Senior HR of the company, apologizing for the inconvenience and asking me to come for the interview on the coming weekend. It didn't match since I had already committed to other interviews on weekend and Whitefield is too far to go on a weekday and come to office after that. They were willing o send me a cab to pick me up from my doorstep and then drop me back to my office after the procedure was done. I wondered what I had done to deserve this (may be the message I left with the receptionist didn't go well with the HRs) , but I accepted the offer. My only concern was what if I flunk in the first round itself and they believe I am an empty vessel which sounds too much. The harm could be many degrees ranging from losing my face, being blacklisted from their company for ever to confiscate the cab and send me back on my own, while I wasn't sure of my way back nor the conveyance.

I woke up at 6.30 this morning for the cab, I reached the Salarpuria Tech park before 8. It felt great, some hundred acres of land, with buildings each one better than the other, huge lawns, broad roads without a speck of dust anywhere, a lone coffee day standing in the middle of the road...looked like I had left civilization far behind. Not that I have never been to a tech park, but never so early. They look awesome early in the morning, quiet and serene. The HR hadn't arrived by then...so waited till 8.30.The online test went till 9.30 and as I feared, I flunked. There were quite some questions on EJB, which is not my forte...but without any unconvincing excuses, let me just face it...I flunked.
Lost my face, yes. Blacklisted from the company for life, I donno. But they certainly didn't confiscate the cab. I called the driver, he said he would take a few moments to come down since he went home. I decided to wait, any way it was too early for office, I had to reach only by 11.30. I looked around, and boiled down to the coffee day on the middle of the road.

I halted there for a corn-spinach sandwich and a Masala tea. While he prepared the same, I took a seat and looked around.
The weather was just perfect, to sit in an open air coffee day , it was cool and windy, I put on my jacket. People had started coming now, young girls, who were probably late because of the time they took to decide what they'd wear, were running to reach before their managers. Young men, walking lazily, I couldn't decide if they were sleeping while walking or walking while sleeping, they needed a coffee urgently. Older men, some in suits and tie, walking in a group were probably saving time by having the meetings on the way.
I felt the vacuum in our lifes...
When I was young my Dad said, work hard for your 10th grades and get into a good college, life is easy after that,nobody studies in college. When I was in college, he said, work hard to get an engineering seat in a good college, life is cake walk after that,nobody studies in college. When in engineering college, he said, work hard for your engineering percentage, land up in a good job, life is easy after that(Now I know, how smart he was, and how he manages his huge team in the plant he works in). I am still waiting for that easy life. I am, touchwood, doing quite well in this rat race, but life still isn't half as easy. Then, the board exams were my biggest concerns, looked like an herculean job to me...now its something else, and tomorrow it would be again something new. It never stops. I feel the urge to ask my Dad, when would I finally get the time to be relaxed, but I know even he doesn't have the answer. He is gonna retire in a year's time, and he still hasn't found his peace.
I believe, this is how God makes his presence felt to us. I am not a believer nor am I an atheist. I believe in a superpower but do not believe in tradition, religion and rituals. But, there is certainly somebody, something out there who balances my life and yours. I look at Bhai's plight today and I am positive his ordeal is gonna end soon, because I believe he has learnt the lesson God wanted to teach him.

It had started drizzling then, my tea was over and the thoughts going round my mind were exhausted. I called the cab driver, he said he's stuck in a jam and would take another fifteen minutes. I pulled out the book in my bag, Chetan Bhagat's: 2 states. It started good, dragged in between but now it was getting interesting.

In a few minutes the cab was there. I boarded the cab which dropped me till the office gate. I thanked the driver and approached the gate. I held my access card in my hand while I looked at the old building...I wondered if Akbar would have walled up Anarkali in this building. The campus if any, was occupied with the vehicles that came along the employees. I felt like I have landed from the US straight into Jhumri Talaiya.
As I entered, the security guard stops me with an open palm.
'Maa'm you are breaking policies, please wear the access card round your neck before we raise a security incident against you.'

Sigh!!!...Welcome to reality!!!

One pakau weekend

A weekend no so great.
I went for an interview to Whitefield which did not happen. They kept me waiting at the reception with a bottle of coke, cookies and chips at my disposal. I lasted in the reception only till the snacks did last. After the end of two hours, soon after the coke bottle was empty and the chips and cookies exhausted, I left in a fury asking the HR to call me later when they can scheule my interview. Life ke teen ghante waste ho gaye!!!

I had been of the impression that HR is one of the coolest job in IT. Most of them are babes or dudes, with no technical work, no clients...must be damn kool. But this notion is changing too fast.
Last week we had this mass drive, where I was a part of the interview panel.This lady HR was almost in tears, since she couldn't handle the pressure. Even today, even I blasted on the HR, when she kept me waiting for more than two hours...while she wouldn't get me another bottle of coke as well, I might have considered waiting for a while otherwise.

Among all this, what gives me a fits attack is, I have an interview scheduled with Adobe on tuesday. I asked Db's friend to refer me there...what I didn't realize is, they would gimme a call the same day to appear for the interview process the next day...
I am not prepared man! Atleast not for the written test on datastructures, algorithms and operating systems. I mean these topics are for the kids (read freshers)...for me, the names just seem to ring a bell.
Luckily I was able to buy some time. Wish me luck people, this one matters to me.

Watched the movie 'Sahib Biwi aur Ghulam', an old bollywood classic. This one and a few more old movies were ordered by Db online from the Moserbaer website.

Its two in the night now, and I feel dog tired due to this long day. Must go to sleep now, planning to prepare tomorrow for the kids stuff for the Adobe interview.
Uwaaan Uwaannn!!!

No title as of now

Its going to be a total random post with no head or tail...you have been warned!!!

I am writing this blog because I have nothing better to do.
Not that I do not have work, I have this screwed up code which I need to fix in the next half an hour, I have this sql query which I need to optimize since it takes ages to just bring up just 500 rows of data. Also, I have this offer letter which I might consider if they 'give me an offer I can't refuse'...but when I said the same to them, they never got back to me...which in words, means TEL LENE JAA!!!
And while I still have to bear my manager's face and my Dad calls me to share his concerns on Bhai's plight and on the other hand talks about his wish of gifting me and Db a 2400 sqft land in Bhubaneswar by taking a loan from his provident fund, I almost feel like booking myself a bed in the Ranchi Mental Hospital ASAP...I belong there.

Here, in this world, things happen too quickly sometimes. And at other times, if feels like Vajpayee spoke at lightning speed as compared to the movement of events in your life.
Things aren't changing for me. They are pretty much the same...same worries, same concerns, same project, same manager and the same code, same husband...ahem...err!!! I mean nothing new in my married life(marriage if not a full stop, a comma it certainly is).
*yawn*

Db says I am a champion in finding reasons to get worried about.
When I am not worrying about my family, my weight, office, cleaning my house and cupboards, chasing off the cockroaches or why we do not have a swimming pool in our apartment among other things, I am can still manage to be worried about why I can't find a title for this post.

When at college, and among the minimal few of the junta who were not-hooked-not-committed, I believed that expecting someone to be with me for life scores a perfect ten on the optimism meter.
Back then, and now I still believe that I am not the girl of his dreams for a man.
Since, I was and still am higher on testosterone and lower on progesterone...and also, I never needed a man in my life just for the heck of it, or because everybody had one.
Guys from college didn't approach me since they loved their life...guys outside college hardly tried, since they believed this option must have been closed by now (I was quite a babe then...WAS, PAST TENSE. I wore a huge cross round my neck, a skull on my index finger and an iron chain round one of my ankles...pretty bold going by Oriya standards. Db would have fainted if he would have managed to get a glimpse of me then).

I believe there are three kinda girls. One, you fall for on the first sight, second kinds are the ones who grow on you slowly and third a the kinds you wouldn't like to touch with a barge pole. I belong to the third category.

I seriously think, Db deserves some gallantry award for jhelofying me for almost two years now and more so considering the anticipation for the coming years...

I donno what I am writing. My thought process is going haywire because I am what...yes, that's right, worried.
If you have reached this far you are either as vella as me, or a very brave reader.
In either of the case, Thanks for hearing me out (I am choking).

So here comes the first offer!!!

So here it is.
After appearing for some 4-5 interviews I have finally, DRUMS ROLL PLEASE, managed to pull an offer from the Societe Generale Global Solutions Center.

But true to my Gemini self, I am darned confused.
I wanted to switch from my current employer, since I wanted a job which doesn't have such stringent policies, next to impossible goal sheets for the appraisal process, gives me an option for work from home and last but not the least, a dhin chak package.
With this new offer, I have got nothing matching my needs, except for a better package.
And, they want me to join in a months time.
I am in a fix. :(
Okay...did I forget to mention my manager, my blood pressure shoots up every time I see his face.

I know I hate my manager so much that I can put down my papers right now just to get back at him.
I can already visualize when I barge into his cabin and say "The words".

I would like to quit my job. So I would like to start the 1 month notice period starting today, and since I have 20 days of earned leaves left, I would like them to be adjusted to my notice period. In short, I am leaving in 2 weeks time...

There is this pregnant silence when we both look into each others eye and neither of us know what to say (does it sound romantic???). Also, I imagine myself ducking behind the chair, just missing the file hurled at me.

But Alas!!! This is just going to be a figment of my imagination as of now...since I do no hate him as much as I love my career. I hope this offer was exciting enough to make my imaginations to reality, I would have loved to see the expression on my managers face when I broke the news to him.
But alas this sadist pleasure has to wait as of now.

I am happy with the offer letter though. I can certainly do with some confidence of having an offer letter from a leading banking firm.
Hope some good offers come my way soon.

Happy Deepawali!!!

On this festival of light as I crib about my job(as usual) and personal life, soon after I gave another shot to set things rolling for Bhai, mere hours after I screwed up my interview with ArisGlobal and just minutes before my first telephonic round with Accenture is scheduled...I am here lighting up my life with this ray of hope with a belief.
A belief that this day is gonna finally light up our life and bring an end to all our worries, I believe that yes, everything is gonna be all right soon.
Yes, this belief gets me going now. I am positive and will ever remain so, till things turn to our favor.
So, here's lighting this little light up, believing this light will chase away the darkness in our life's and bring a new dawn where things are better if not rosier.

Hope this day lights up your life too...Happy Deepawali to all!!!

Do I think like a man???

Many a times I do feel that I think more like a man than a woman.
I look at Lara Dutta sizzling on screen in Blue, and I go 'Man she is hot!!!' more than I do the same for John showing his butt in Dostana. When we are roaming around Church Street on one of the evenings on a weekend, I scream more than Db when I see a babe around, 'Dekho...Babe hai yaar!!!'.

Lemme give a few more examples in chronological order...

A few months ago...at the cafeteria...
Nam : Did you notice that new trainee. Guess what!!! I have noticed her working out a the office gym almost everyday. No wonder she has such awesome figure.
Me : Yeah.
Nams (still envying her figure) : Look...not a single inch of fat anywhere. She would look awesome in a saree don't you think???
Me : I think she would look greater in a two piece bikini...why saree, which covers all of what its worth!!!
Nams : !!!????

Another time, we were three of us having our evening coffee at the cafeteria. We were talking about how sad it feels to see these little girls pregnant and working late hours at office.
Bh : This girl in the other project, I am sure she is gonna have a baby boy.
Nam : What makes you think so??
Bh : I believe if you have a baby boy in there, the tummy is more pointed.
Me: This can surely go as the weirdest of all your weird logics you ever gave. The baby boy certainly can't have his genitals so prominent to make the tummy look pointed.
Nams : What!!! That's so dirty...how could this even occur to you!!!
What else then????

Just yesterday I talking to my colleague, she happened to mention this reality show on NDTV Imagine...Pati Patni aur Woh.
Yeah, I said. I changed upon one of the episodes once when I was switching channels. Rakhi Sawant was carrying this little kid while showing her assets generously to the camera and to the baby. This kid must have found this one good chance to dance on, he started hitting her right on her boobs with his little hands. I was wondering what would the real father to the baby (I believe, these kids are rented from their parents) be thinking behind the screen, 'lucky chap!!! wish they rented fathers and not their babies'.
Nams :I don't believe this...You have a mind dirtier than most men.
Do I??? I thought this has to be the most common observation by anybody...irrespective of whether he is a man or woman.

So the bottom line is, I am starting to wonder if my mind actually works like a man.