I would probably never understand, what it is that triggers my thought process. What makes me start wondering about myself or judge myself. Sometimes its when I am alone or disturbed, or when someone points out something about me, or sometimes as trival as a movie or just a song that makes me go on a self evaluation trip.
I am at Indore now...came here on business. Indore stay so far hasn't been a lot of fun. There is some irritationg kinda work, which did not need me travelling across states. I didn't even find the food or shopping part interesting. You could easily get such things and more in Bangalore.
I probably always knew that coming here would not gain me a thing, nor financially, nor personally and niether professionally. But I willing took this leap of faith, hoping that something good might come out of it...I mean professionally. But I was wrong, it has been a royal waste of time, energy and emotions. Away from DB since 3 weeks already, I have come down from being strongest to stronger and then just going strong now. There are two more weeks to go, and I would probably have reached a level where women look like damsels in distress. I regret having taken the decision of coming down here, since I didn't gain a thing and having left all my strength behind. I have realized that its okay if DB is travelling for a couple of months, but I can't stand leaving him alone.
BTW, who was that...one who said all of that is written above. It certainly isn't me, for I belive these couldn't be my words, its just not me... I always believed that I am nothing like normal women who find strength from people around them. I could always manage to find my strength within, then why do I feel so...I have been a fighter so far, so what makes me go weak in my knees. Damn...why???
Does marraige make you weak...but then I have been married for over 4 years now, isn't that too late for this realization. And, I do not think Db is an overprotective husband, he hasn't treated my like a lady anyway...then why is that his absence, rather me leaving him behind bothers me so much.
You know, there was a time I believed in magical love stories...you know the DDLJ kinds. I did belive that it would happen to me some day and I just need to wait for that right time. There were many good opportunities that I denied only because I thought they weren't magical enough. I was waiting for those dry leaves to fly and voilins to play. But I was jerked out of my fantasies, a rude shock which came and I realized that the Cindrella story that we wait for are actually not for real. You can't build a life over them. I consider myself lucky, I saw the magical story, realized it wasn't real and moved on to grab the realities of life.
No regrets, since I believe it has made me a better person, value people in life and not to take them for granted, and of course I think my life couldn't have been better. Whatever...!!!
I can't get down to get all that cheesy...if Db reads this(which he will), he'd probably think I was drunk as hell.
I am at Indore now...came here on business. Indore stay so far hasn't been a lot of fun. There is some irritationg kinda work, which did not need me travelling across states. I didn't even find the food or shopping part interesting. You could easily get such things and more in Bangalore.
I probably always knew that coming here would not gain me a thing, nor financially, nor personally and niether professionally. But I willing took this leap of faith, hoping that something good might come out of it...I mean professionally. But I was wrong, it has been a royal waste of time, energy and emotions. Away from DB since 3 weeks already, I have come down from being strongest to stronger and then just going strong now. There are two more weeks to go, and I would probably have reached a level where women look like damsels in distress. I regret having taken the decision of coming down here, since I didn't gain a thing and having left all my strength behind. I have realized that its okay if DB is travelling for a couple of months, but I can't stand leaving him alone.
BTW, who was that...one who said all of that is written above. It certainly isn't me, for I belive these couldn't be my words, its just not me... I always believed that I am nothing like normal women who find strength from people around them. I could always manage to find my strength within, then why do I feel so...I have been a fighter so far, so what makes me go weak in my knees. Damn...why???
Does marraige make you weak...but then I have been married for over 4 years now, isn't that too late for this realization. And, I do not think Db is an overprotective husband, he hasn't treated my like a lady anyway...then why is that his absence, rather me leaving him behind bothers me so much.
You know, there was a time I believed in magical love stories...you know the DDLJ kinds. I did belive that it would happen to me some day and I just need to wait for that right time. There were many good opportunities that I denied only because I thought they weren't magical enough. I was waiting for those dry leaves to fly and voilins to play. But I was jerked out of my fantasies, a rude shock which came and I realized that the Cindrella story that we wait for are actually not for real. You can't build a life over them. I consider myself lucky, I saw the magical story, realized it wasn't real and moved on to grab the realities of life.
No regrets, since I believe it has made me a better person, value people in life and not to take them for granted, and of course I think my life couldn't have been better. Whatever...!!!
I can't get down to get all that cheesy...if Db reads this(which he will), he'd probably think I was drunk as hell.
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