Top 10 lessons learnt from staying alone in my house

1. Stay online as much as you can...and bless people who ping you. It reassures you that you are not an crotchety old lady who is sitting alone in a house.

2. Get addicted to facebook or orkut. Comment on everyone's status and like everything that anybody says or does. This way you make a good chance that when you start a thread, there are people replying to it and that starts a neverending thread and kills time.

3. Order in food. Since you can't finish it all by yourself because of the limited size of our stomach and your mental calculation to check your weight...the food easily lasts for two days.

4. Write on your kitchen whiteboard 'WATCH YOUR WEIGHT...DONT ORDER FOOD' and ignore it on the weekends.

5. Do a lot of shoppping on the weekend and bill it on the credit card your husband gave you. Watch your kurta collection soar while your bank balance remains unchanged. **

6. Check your weight regularly. Notice that despite what people expected that you lose weight sulking for your husband, you have actually put on a significant no. of kilos. Blame it on the weather.

7. If you don't find the remote, find it under the pile of clothes on your bed, or the pile of unread newspaper, under the laptop, in the fridge or bathroom.

8. Get a new hair cut in some expensive beauty salon and bill it on the credit card your husband gave you. **

9. At office, keep a visible expression of being sulky and sad for being lonely at home...so that they feel guilty to give you more (any) work.

10. Ask in a friend to come and stay over on the pretext of helping her in distress, and curse yourself every single day after thinking when the hell will she leave.

(** Sport a 440 watt smile on the webcam the next day, to make your husband feel better )